This Is Embarrasing

I'm a 33-year-old male that has issues with my face for at least 20 years. Ever since middle school, I can LITERALLY count on 1 hand how many gf's thought I was cute. The rest never told me whether or not I was attractive or not. High school was worse. THe girls dealt with me on a friend basis, but when it came to becoming a couple, they weren't having it. Then one day in the 10th grade, I saw a group called "Lonely Hearts Club." They were a group of girls that couldn't get guys to talk to them. So I wrote & sent a pic in, and then (no lie) they replied & sent my pic back saying "We're NOT that lonely." All my life I wanted to be accepted, but all the girls kept telling me how UGLY I was. And after I joined the service, it got even worse. This one young lady at my 1st command became cool, I tried to hook up, and then things got weird. I started getting videotapes & cassette tape recordings on how much she HATED me, and thought that my face was a cross between a horse & a horse's ***. And when we went out in public.............................I literally had to stay 5-6ft behind her. I always had to wear dark glasses because she saw me as a MONSTER. What made it worse was that she called mall security on me saying that I was harassing her!!!! (Hell, I gave her a ride to the mall that day!!!!) And I ended up having a nervous breakdown soon afterwards. Its a miracle that I was actually able to wake up. I've always wanted to be able to walk around town with my head held high, and for people to like me. I HATE looking the way I do. I HATE having low self-esteem. If I could, I would look like a COMPLETELY different person. An attractive male that was tall, handsome, and FULL of confidence. Not some skinny 5'10 elephant looking clown. How I wish I had died back on the 12th of Dec 1999. :(
Romellio Romellio
31-35, M
2 Responses Jan 19, 2013

My friend,
I've felt the same way. I understand. Thankfully, it's not the truth. You are a masterpiece that God formed unlike anyone else. You were masterfully made for purpose on purpose. We will only know our identity in Jesus Christ, who made us. We were made for Him and by Him. When I met Him, He changed me forever. He loves you so much and has amazing plans for your life. I love you too, my friend. The Lord has given me a beautiful wife and three amazing sons. Trust Him with all of your heart. Let me know you got this.

May I ask what condition you have in which makes you think you are ugly? I mean do you have bad acne or some other medical situation, I'm asking because if that is what you are basing your self on then it's plenty fixable. I hate to hear the pain in your story, I wish I could fix it, that is the type of person I am. If it is something I can help with I will. Give me a little insight as to what others say about you. I don't know of anyone one person that is so monstrously heinous that it stood in the way of love. Obviously the woman you associate are hard calloused self centered twats. Woman can be so cruel. I have always been attracted to men that didn't fit the typical perfect mold. I like big men, not to many woman do....so with that said I am positive there is someone out there who will love you for who you are, you just have to look outside the box. I would be happy to help boost your self esteem and talk with you on a more personal level.