Used Up And Thrown Away

I suppose I have a lifetime of experience in being used. I have always asked myself why and have decided that people take advantage of me because I allow them to. Well, at least I used to. You see, there is something about me that attracts people who know they can gain something for their personal benefit. I have had friends and co-workers ask me to do things for them because they knew I would not say no. If it happens to be something that is less desirable or something that causes me stress, then I wind up regretting it and wishing I had said no. Now when it comes to guys, they are the biggest users. They attempt to be Mr. Nice Guy and say all the right things to get women to be on their side. Then they keep on with the Magic Show until they get what they want...which could be any number of things. It starts out small and then the requests just keep growing. The more they get, the more their confidence grows and they continue to spill out how much they like you, how much they care, and how beautiful you are. Of course I don't believe the things guys say...after having heard the same lines over and over again and getting the same play-by-plays, I tend to just laugh inside because I know it's not true. It is really hard to distinguish between the guys who really mean it and the guys who are faking it. Of course, I always attract the guys who don't mean it. It is nice to think that people do really care about me and want to talk to me and have a good time. I like attention but I will not do anything to get it. But then it just tears at my soul when I realize that I have been used and made a mockery of. I am generally a caring, fun, loving, honest, friendly person who loves to help people. I do like to make people happy and like to see them happy. I think these great attributes are also my downfall. I would give anything to find someone who appreciates a woman with these qualities and not try to use them to get what they want. It's the same over and over again. The funny thing about guys is they are so good at making you think that you are special and unlike anyone else. What even kills more more is how when they are done with you, they are done. And you are supposed to be ok with that? Look what they took from you...what you lost. They ***** you of your pride, love, happiness, and leave you all alone to deal with it and get over it...to try and forget the person who made you feel that you were worth something...that you meant something. I always wonder how guys can be so heartless to hurt women like this. They just go on to the next unsuspecting victim and the cycle begins all over again. The only way we can break it is to be strong, confident women who don't let these guys take advantage of us. Because you can't call it using if they have taken nothing from you...
Txsmom Txsmom
41-45, F
7 Responses May 23, 2012

When I did a lot of volunteering, one lesson I learned was that it is OK to say no. Sure. someone may be disappointed, or their feelings may get hurt, but they'll get over it. The sun will set and rise again in the morning and life will tick on, but with someone else doing it instead of you. It's tough at first, but you just have to find "no" phrases such as ,"Sorry, I am already over committed" or "I'm sorry, I can't help you with that right now". They'll get the idea eventually and move along.

Being a busy person, I have to pick and choose who I do and who I don't help. I'll always find time for my true personal friends if they need help moving a couch or they need a ride, elsewhere it's picking and choosing what I say yes to. Hope that helps and gives you some encouragement to say "no".

U know Txsmom, <br />
Its so true I have seen so many guys do this such wonderful girls. I feel pitty for them, cause they dont know how much hurt they leave in their wake. I have be taken advantage by a girl when i was young. since then i have just blocked women out, or rather never created an opportunity to hurt me.<br />
Thank you for your story :) Big Hug to you<br />
Ashyd

I agree that women can hurt men just the same. But I say don't give up..for as there are good men out there...good women exist as well! Good luck to you and so sorry! Hugs to you!

That sucks, sorry Txmom I know the reason you've had so many problems. Too much to offer and too much love to give. Most guys get scared and run away. It sucks but im the exact same way. I care about people so they know they can use me. They know I only want whats best for people and im willing to give part of myself so they can have it. Its amazing how eager they all are to tear you down. I think of them life vampires.

Well the bad thing about it is it makes someone like me really harden to the world around me. I hate it and don't think I could totally just disregard people, but it makes me want to just stop giving to others. It's the people like us who care the most who wind up getting stepped on.

Yeah, being genuine is incredibly important. However, there is a flip side to it as well. I have struggled with this for a long time since I try to be entirely genuine.

:(

TXSMOM, i understand how you feel! Women do it to guys too ! But as you said , just be a strong confident person and dont allow them to get to you ! There are a few true gentlemen left , hang in there and keep your chin up. peter

Thanks for the comment and support. I am definitely not going to let anyone get the best of me!

Amen Txsmom ! keep the faith !

Oh it's ok....that was some jerk from past experience and maybe to all the others before him. It's also for all the ladies who have gone through the same thing. I am certainly a little wiser now so I don't let it bother me much ! I have been meaning to write that for a while and just felt like it last night after seeing something on EP.

Thanks!