I Don't Know How to React

I grew up in such a quiet household...  I didn't know what my mother would sound like if she yelled until my little sister was 3 years old (she was a holy terror, and by then, Mom was tired).   

The angry thoughts and actions that passed in our house were all passive-aggressive and sarcastic.  No one yelled. 

So when I grew up and found myself confronted by people for whom yelling and screaming was normal and expected, I cowered in closets.  If there's too much anger around me, I have to leave the vicinity:  I'm too sensitive to the pain of the puppet-people suspended in their own self-hate and rage.  I still get scared like a little child.

hAnih hAnih
26-30, F
1 Response Jan 4, 2008

I had a similar experience in my household growing up. Anger was never expressed in yelling, only under-handed cut downs, sarcasm, passive-aggressive manipulation, guilt .... all that sort of stuff. It has made it hard for me to know how to deal with anger and other strong emotions in a healthy way ... because I was basically taught as a child that yelling was wrong and that getting upset shows you are out of control. Being around yelling can be so intimidating, I'm trying to realize now that people who yell are just cowards deep down.