It Scares Me

I am a pretty emotionally sensitive person and am very sound sensitive. When having a conversation with someone I prefer to watch their mouth as they speak as opposed to keeping eye contact. Watching their mouth as they speak increases my understanding of what they are saying and allows me to avoid that uncomfortable eye contact. When I am listening to music I have it on low and I don't like going to see the action movies in theaters because they are just too loud. Therefore, when someone is shouting at me the intensity of emotion and the loudness scares me. I hate being scared so the emotion that most often follows that flash of fear is anger. If someone yells at me have an irritating tendency to burst into tears and retreat away from them either physically or emotionally. It is a self-defense mechanism I'm sure others use as well. Shouting at me upsets and bothers me but a disappointed or distant silence will also have me asking what I can do to make the situation better, even if I had nothing to do with whatever is causing the silence. It drives me nuts when I happen to fall into that old habit. It is a effort to leave the upset party be and give them the space they need to shake off their bad mood or irritation. I've gotten better over the years but it can still be hard for me, especially when I am upset or stressed. Considering all of this I am grateful and proud of my Master/boyfriend for never yelling at me. Not once. :-)
ACuriousStudent ACuriousStudent
26-30, F
May 15, 2012