The Rage

I am a pretty peaceful person. I can get along with most forms of life on this planet. However the bully is one such life form that I wish extinct. I was a very shy child when I was younger and in many ways still am. I never remember having any troubles with anybody in school until peoples hormones started flaring up and they began forming groups. So I was forced to take sides somewhere along 7th grade. Being a gamer, introverted, shy and not caring at all about sports or popularity I was lumped into the geeks/dorks/losers. Which was fine by me, but as soon as I gained entry into this less than exclusive group I also gained all the draw backs of said group. People would **** with me because I was quiet, had long hair, dressed a certain way, looked at someone, etc. I began to dislike myself even more, though I don't think this started this school but more around home life. Self esteem, wait what am I talking about what self esteem that was stolen from me during those same years. I lost a lot and all I have to show for it is a wonderfully white hot all encompassing rage when certain circumstances arise, like bulling. There were so many times in school that if I had an ounce less of self control I would have dashed someones brains against the floor and gone looking for seconds. Even to this day when I think of bullies I shake inside and wish to hurt them in a most gruesome way. Like I said an ounce less... A razors edge is all that separated some people from this world and the next.

It is a long road building oneself back up to where they once were 10 years ago. Still working at it today, still trying to throw water on the fire that flares up within. It is a long road indeed.
TheCheese TheCheese
31-35, M
2 Responses Aug 9, 2007

It's a long road, but at the end is a kind of peace and sense of justice, as well as empathy that few people can posess.<br />
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I was there, and I had the added bonus of autism and physical disabilities. I made it through and you can too. Take their power away. Don't give them any significance in your life.

People are cruel and children in school are even worse.