This State Has Done Nothing But Screw Up My Life And Of The Lives Of Those I Love!

I never intended to live in California yet I have, twice. The first time was in 2004. My parents were transferred to northern California my sister's senior year and she was having a really hard time with the move. My parents asked if I would come along to help her transition and I agreed. Six months later, however, I left California and didn't look back.

Those six months were incredibly rough on me. I was struggling with a divorce, it took 2 months to even find employment. The employment standards here are another issue entirely! Once I gained employment and was a little more stable financially I met a guy out one night. For all purposes he was never suppose to be anything other than a fling. The last month I was here I received a job offer and started to set up my move. By then my sister was content, my parents were doing well, and I figured my presence was no longer needed.

Two weeks after I left I found out I was pregnant. I was single, alone and I assumed that once I told 'the fling' that I was carrying that he would take the honorable route and be there to support us. He chose instead to try to convince me to abort. Aborting was never an option. After I left California I set up my life and preparing for a child. I do everything in my power to keep my child protected and away from those who didnt want her in this world.

Time goes by. I marry the love of my life. We have have our wonderful son. We move to another state. The 'fling' has seen her 4 times total in her life. Then last year my husband is told he is being transferred to California. The only thing I can think of is how am I going to protect my daughter? Once the fling found out it was only a matter of days before he started threatening to take my child away. That now that we were moving to his state he will be given custody of her. I am fearful for myself and my daughter so I cut all communication with him. Once he can no longer harass us things settle out. We move to California, enroll the children in all the best schools and buy a house in only the best neighborhood.

Just shy of a year later (this February) I am served with custody papers from 'him'. How he found my address I am still unaware.

Knowing how other states work I naively think that the courts will side with me. That they will see what a selfish man he has been. That they will see that her being around him should not be taken lightly. This is a man that has had drug problems in the past (something I never knew about when we were together all those years ago). This is a man that currently has alcohol issues (something I didnt know about until I was able to get ahold of his financial records).

The California court system didnt give a flying fig about any of it. They handed unsupervised visitation over to this stranger! They gave my daughter away like she was nothing! They have endangered her life and told me this "As long as nothing happens then the court has to assume he will be a good father when he has her". WHAT!!!!! You are basing my daughters livelihood, her future on an assumption. So until he does something that will scar her for life I just have to sit back and let it happen?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS STATE???? Do they not see they are destroying children! My husband and I have provided her with a stable, loving, safe, strong family that rivals most. She is not wanting for anything. But the California courts would rather tear that apart. Break up what they say they want for children and hand an innocent little girl over to a man that has no knowledge of her in anyway.

Can someone explain how this happens here? Because I can not for the life of me understand and I am so scared for my daughter it makes me sick!
upsetmommy1982 upsetmommy1982
26-30, F
May 24, 2012