I Hate Cancer

Hi this is my story.

I have hated cancer all my life being as it has taken so many people Ive cared about,My greatgran 1992,grandfather1988,step grand father 2005, grandma 2000, my best friend 2001,my coisin 7 years old,its just unfir, she haddent even lived 2004, My mum 2006 was diegnosed and has been operated shes much better now. Myself, when I was 4 i was op. and died 3 timed but always brought back epcept the last time were i was dead for 30 minits and sudenly woke up even to this day They call it a miricle. But once agen I have been diegnosed,but you know what, I hate cancer .It makes you suffer so much and yet they havent made a cure.

some day this aufull deseze will be in the history books like the black death...

but untill then we must remain strong and keep our heads high.

And as you can see I have had to deal with a lot of deaths in these last ten years,But Im still holding on Im still strong. I hope everyone understands this frase .

I HATE CANCER. blesed be  Phoenix  x love and light to all that read this  x

firebird firebird
18-21, F
11 Responses May 11, 2007

I am so sorry that you have suffered so much yourself and lost so many loved ones.. that indeed is incredibly unfair.. I wish you the strenght and best luck to deal with all this... you must be pretty amazing person to handle it all...
I hope the cure will be found...
God bless you!

Firebird, sweetheart, I am sorry for your losses, for your pain, for the grief, for the doubt... and yet, here you still are, breathing, living one moment after another, reaching out, alive! How awful for you to have been through so much and how wonderful for you that you have known love and been loved.<br />
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No, sorry, it's no consolation, I know. True as it is. It's no consolation at all.<br />
<br />
No consolations, no solutions, I can't offer anything really beyond digital words and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You deserve more. You certainly do. Of course you do. But here's the rub - this is what you've got. Not something different, not what you want, not what you are worthy of, not what you believe should be there, but what is. <br />
<br />
Does it stop hurting? From my perspective, I'd say, sometimes and never. Somethings drop away, some things return later - a shadow, a memory, a play on what happened... the inescapable stuff of being human. And then there are moments, days even when you learn to delight in your own skin, in raindrops, in the spider at your window. Live *those* moments. Drink them up, cherish them, make them so much a part of you that when the darkness falls again (and fall again it will, for this is all part of life) then you will have something to turn to - something warm, and sweet and melodious and fragrant, something to make you grateful for life, even with it's pains.<br />
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My sweet, sweet child. I am sorry. I wish I could send you a magic pill, a handsome prince, a glorious potion, an enchanted wand. But it can't be. So live your grief. Be with the hurt. Console yourself, take care of yourself, be your own best friend. Allow yourself to swim with the sharks of fear and loss, always coming up for air, finding your own way to land. Face the fear - stop the running. For what might you be able to handle better if you were less exhausted, less evasive, less angry? <br />
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Make the time to be sad, to really mourn your losses, to wail and cry and rant and rave, to be so pissed off at having lost so much that you truly remember you are heartbroken. Let your heart break. Don't fight it. Be the sadness that is trying to express itself through you. Be the anger, the grief, the resentment, the frustration, the despair, the rejection, the sheer, bloody, furious howl that the animal you wishes to express. <br />
<br />
And then see what happens.<br />
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On the other side of all that, all this... <br />
<br />
What's there? Who's there? Where are you?<br />
<br />
Take it all in. And breathe... <br />
<br />
You are still alive.<br />
<br />
And this moment, this moment is glorious!<br />
<br />
Thanks for being there (here) Firebird; my love goes with you, E.

It's awful, terrible and so on... My family has suffered a lot from it. Pain, tears... But let's look from the other side. Nobody knows hisher future...Maybe tomorrow I'll go for a walk and be a victim of a drunk driver... Who knows... And cancer...It gives time...for fighting, thoughts and life. Another life, but life!

To the lady who hates cancer. I understand, having survied two deadly ones twice. But my oncologist said I have to love cancer because I will become a better person for having had it. I thought she was nuts, but I thought and thought about it, and she was right. I decided to love it, it loved me and I am here. I was extremely SICK, SICK, for 18 months. Surgery, chemo, radiation etc. All in the spine and it left me a little disabled, cannot put on shoes or socks myself, plus pain. I have been a peer support person for 13 years, have helped many people when first diagnosed, had to take off for a year when I got the lung cancer after the Stage IV Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. Remember, you will be a much better person for having had cancer. It is a life changing experience. My sister (ER Nurse - now dead from terminal bile duct cancer) diagnosed my lung cancer when I was coughing. My doctor told me nothing wrong, she insisted on a x-ray, found it immediately. A doctor at Stanford (where I was cared for) told me any doctor worth his salt can tell if there is something in the lungs by listening. Who knows, I lost my left lung, got pnemonia - gram negative - 25% survival - sick, sick, sick and here I am seven years later. I will be happy to discuss this with anyone going through this, and also the Non Hodgkins Lymphoma that I survived.

Hi,<br />
I am sorry for all your losses. It is very very sad. I lost my Mum in May this year she was 55 (multiple cancers). After the first operation (womb and colon cancer 4 evidence) in December 2006 the cancer cells got into her brain. She passed through another operation (on her brain) in February 2007. She couldn't speak & write after that. She suffered so much. My heart was broken when I saw her. I had to travel back Europe from Australia to see her. My best friend, my sweet heart, my angel...lying in bed with all her left side paralyzed, couldn't even say my name (I am the only one child). And she was so strong! She managed to smile to me. Sorry can't type any more...I am crying now. I still can't realize that she is dead.

HI I am sorry ffor all you sadness in your life ..<br />
I went through my child hood never knowing death ,but I have made up for it now<br />
I have lost a lot of people my brother died at 45 then my fatherinlaw and my husband too all of Lung cancer ..<br />
my Mom was a cancer survivorbut died at 65 of a brain annerism I am glad she died before my brother died of cancer at least she didnt have to live through that ..<br />
Well I sure do hate Cancer too ..<br />
Wow that azazing you were dead for 30 minutes ..I love Miracles and cancer survivor stores

Thk you for sharing your story. Fortunately, in my family everybody is quite healty, but my grandfather (my mother's father) died of cancer. He had amyloidosis, that is a rare form of cancer, in which the body is invaded by sick proteins, not cells. It was very hard for all of us and he never talked about his disease and about dying all the time he was sick, I believe he didn't want to make us sad...<br />
Although in my family I have no other cancers, I'm a medical student, so I deal with very sick people everyday, including many people with cancer, most of them with terminal disease. Most of them are scared about their future, about suffering and death, but they are afraid to tell it to their families and to us as well and many times we can see that hiding that fear makes them suffer very much. Often I don't know what to say to make them feel better. Mostly I say enough to make them talk about their fears (sometimes people start to cry as well) and then listen to them after that. Guess that already helps, but I would like be able to lessen their fear of dying (even though I can't do much about my own fear)<br />
<br />
This is the reason why I hate cancer...It hurts and it scares people and families.<br />
<br />
Stay fine everyone!

no It was all diferent yet all the same,<br />
tumors, bloud cancer, loung cancer, brain cancer ,.....<br />
But the past is the pas and we must always look to the futcher, and I will not give up without a fight,and thats a promise,Phoenix xxx

Cancer is a terrible thing.. I just hope you manage to win this new battle!<br />
That family history is sad... was it always the same kind of cancer?<br />
My prayers for you! :)

I'm Sorry too, I lost my 12year old to cancer 24 years ago, and it still feels like yesterday sometimes. Love + light, Chick x

I am very sorry. I lost my 8 year old son to brain cancer in 2003.