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Beware Of Fornicators (for Maybe The Younger Women And Men).

It takes work to make a relationship good. Both parties have to want it.
Sometimes, the relationship doesn't last long.

Perhaps it is worth reminding that when one has low self-esteem, and a bad self-image, one grasps other people's partners because one is not capable of doing that for oneself.

This is just an appeal to the younger people maybe. Women and men, please think about the children of the married partner you want to fornicate with. It is easy to screw around (go on holiday with the married partner, on a weekend, late night - on the pretext of you're working at the office, etc.) and women (and men) with low self esteem will prey on your partner.

Be super aware of this.

Women - make sure that you accompany your men whenever you can. Be carefully groomed, and attractive to YOUR spouse. Ditto men.

Because if you trust your partners, you cannot trust those who crawl around the earth, looking for a partner to fornicate with and break up your partnership.

They will tell you lies that your relationship was over already (not true - there can always be difficulties - don't add any more).

And for those who think that they are GREAT because they have gotten away with this so far, remember that there is a price tag for everything in life. And what you get away with, your children might not.

So brag if you have to. Some of us have a sense of honour and decency and still can say "no" when fornicators approach us (there's something about decent women/men saying "no" that wakes people up........sometimes......).

This weekend, out with a group of people, I was approached by a fornicator. His wife was at home, looking after the children. (I'm assuming they are his :o). Trusting him maybe. He was attractive, and seemed kind enough. He got the "no" and it stunned him into the sulks. So then he went home, to a presumably unsuspecting wife.* (I had asked him if he was married, and where his wife was).

I could easily have said "yes". And could have bragged at how G R E A T I am by managing to have (cheap) sex with a married man. It's really easy actually. You just say "yes", and undress and fornicate. Rabbits do it too.

My apologies to those (unqualifiables) who still think they are a good catch. Personally, I'd throw them back.
stephaniebis stephaniebis 56-60, F 6 Responses Aug 21, 2012

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Well said, stephaniebis. And well done.

Thank you Joyouse. I'm getting some good feedback from some younger women and men too on this. It's great to read that people still do believe in love, kindness and courtesy in a relationship of their own.

This makes me laugh to read it again, LOL. I find it so funny how people find old stories and comment or rate them up randomally, which I guess what I am doing but only cause it showed up in my recent activity.

I love the idea that following your spouse around like a kicked puppy and trying to force yourself to look attractive will discourage cheating, it won't!

If my man wants another girl, fine have fun with that. He will come home to me at the end of the night.

I never lacked doubts, Gods above, I was raised well. I know cheating is wrong. I was just insane and stupid, please don\'t think my \"newfound clarity\" has ANYTHING to do with you.

You don\'t understand, my man likes me best in nothing but one of his t-shirts, he despises makeup, and the idea of anyone being so insecure to think they need it.

If I wear makeup its for me, no one else.

If he changes his mind, fine, I wish him happiness.

Oh I reread your message, it made it seem like I am in adulterous relationship, I am not. He is single and was when I met him, I left my marriage when I realized I wanted to pursue something with someone else.

Strange. Where did I mention make-up in my story? I don\'t think make-up is the same as grooming personally, neither do I think that women who wear make-up and care for themselves insecure. Ditto men.

Odd that you feel the need to justify yourself.

Newfound clarity? Thanks to me? You yourself say \"I was just insane and stupid......\" not me.

No-one forced you to read the story TWICE.

Oh well.

I did not call you either of those things. I said your beliefs were laughable, they are to me.

I interpreted what you said in context in which it was written to mean made up.
I was stating my man\'s belief on makeup not mine. I like to play with makeup but rarely wear it...I don\'t need to.

I reread my reply and yours to ensure what I wrote was coheirent.

Fine. Then don\'t read something if you don\'t feel like it, or sit and laugh to yourself if it makes you feel good. (You might just look a bit insane, but who cares?)

Interpret what you like. That is real coherency. (It\'s after \"B\" in the dictionary). You know, like the word \"bright\"????

Yes I made a spelling error *gasp* does that mean I am incapable of reading or thinking? No it just means I was too lazy to bother fixing it.

I will stop childishly pushing buttons if you will. I shouldn\'t have posted on your story, especially not to laugh at you. I just find the idea of appearance being able to save a marriage to be silly at best. Also it promotes a falsehood that men don\'t cheat on hot girls.

You do what you like. It\'s a free world. Men and women cheat when the opportunity is provided.

I just tried to make amends and apologize.

Ok apology accepted. Thank you.

Your welcome. I do have a clarity I lacked when I was in the middle of my affair. I don\'t like hurting people, sorry if my comments hurt you.

Dear AdorablyBroken, rationality and clarity help a lot to solve most things, I think (even if our emotions say otherwise).

Taking a stand back is the most useful exercise ever.

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Just as an FYI, fornicator is someone who has sex outside of marriage, it is not interchangeable with adulterer; which is I think the word you meant to use. Adulterer is someone who is married and has sex with someone else. All adulterers are fornicators but not all fornicators are adulterers.

Thank you for that. The result is, however, the same. They shag and move on. I am trying to make some of the more innocent ones aware of the game, in case they get caught. Happy Christmas.

So you have a problem with people having informed, consensual sex? Even if none of them are in other relationships?

If you read my story, I think it was pretty clear to most people that we are speaking about married people or those in a committed relationship. If people wish to have informed, consensual sex, that is entirely up to them.

Then you should use the term adultery because fornication doesnt apply.

I will use the word I choose, thank you.

Okay, it's not the correct word but thats on you

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Very well said

Thank you. Just have a look at those who think they are justified in taking off with married men.

I do trust my wife and her myself. We have been happily married for 23 Years and have NEVER thought of cheating. I have always said "if you even think of cheating you are with the wrong person to start with"

Awesome, lingerieme

My Wife is Cabin Crew for British Airways. This week she is in Beunos Aries for 5 days. We have been together for 25 years and I find Trust is the most important thing :-) I could go Mad with Jealousy without Trust

Decent women behave decently and say no, and we are worthy of the trust men give us and ditto decent men. Thank God there are still some of us on this earth who live up to the name of respectability.

Well said stephaniebis. God gave His laws the Ten Commandments to protect us all. " Thou shall not commit Adultery" is as big a protectin as when we tell our children. " Look both ways before crossing the street, don't run out in front of a car." Children may not understand "why" their parents are saying this but should listen and obey. And we may not like or understand why in a world where anything goes our Father in Heaven saids " stop don't" but as His created children we and others would be much happier and safer if we would just stop, look to Him and obey. Thank you for sparing that wife and their children Pain and heart ache and yourself a possible STD by saying NO to that fornicator.

Yes she is a Decent Lady. When younger I used to Quiz her after every trip. Cannot have been nice for her. Now I just think of her as "At Work" and never ask. Was a difficult thing to do at first but OK now.

Hi Rgreener, the trouble with quizzing people after every trip, is that you lay the soil so to speak for mistrust. If a decent woman/man is on a trip, they will AVOID temptation (because no mistake - it's out there!).

The more you trust her that when she is at work, you can count on her, the more a decent woman (I'm not talking about trollops and cheats) will respond.

Ditto for men of course.

And don't forget that if a man continually quizzes the woman, (or woman the man) then the othe party could have the right to think, he/she is asking me that because that is what he/she is doing!

Also stephaniebis, it puts the idea in their head to act that way and eventually a partner may say " Why not he/she doesn't trust me anyway?"

Yes indeed Joyouse. When I was married, my ex-husband just could not trust me because of his jealousy and that thought "why not he doesn't trust me anyway" very often crossed my mind. Acting on it is something else though.

Oh my Saint Stephanie had impure thoughts! How tragic!

I had thought not to reply publicly but since you insist. I do not consider myself a saint. Neither will I have sex outside of marriage. I posted this, expecting you to understand that this is truly what I think.

Reading your stories, I can understand that when you have not had sex with your husband (and he's just attentive to your organic tomatoes) for so many years, it could be understandable that you go elsewhere for some consolation.

No it is not funny when someone's partner has diabetes/is handicapped or whatever which prevents them from having sex with his or her spouse. And I for one can understand this.

In that context, I would not call that fornication, even if technically, it is. (Others might).

I am being as compassionate as I can towards your predicament and as polite and respectful as I can.

Before you make your wild assumptions about me being a lace dress wearing church lady (whatever that is supposed to mean), virginal and pure (whatever that is supposed to mean), try asking.

Some of us have very different backgrounds to what you could even dream of. I do not wish to give details of my private life, or of the private lives of others, but just let me say one thing.

Innocent I am not. I very often see life at its very very worst.

But I'll still post what I'm posting.

Regardless of any comments based on an image which does not correspond to me whatsoever.

The story was aimed at younger people. You do not really qualify for that but so be it.

Thank you for trusting your wife. Isn't it what is the emotional glue in a relationship? :)

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Nice work. I think we could make a great BOOK together if we combined this with the featured story on MY profile, and filled in some of the gaps between them.

Thank you. I'll have a peak at your story. And get back to you. Prod me if I don't, ok?

Consider it done.

Wait... WHICH story?

The featured one-- "The Four Elements". I've not changed it as my featured since posting it.

Oh... I read that one. I thought you were referring to some dishy story... It's an awesome read, I grant you that. I just thought you referred to another story.

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