Need Help/advice: Is This Abusive?

I am concerned that my 18 month old nephew has been/is being neglected or abused. I recently saw a video on my brother-in-laws Facebook profile, of my nephew being pushed by his mother, on a small sit on push toy (you know the kind the kids pushes with their feet to scoot around on) toward a glass paned door and he hits his head against the glass door and immediately starts crying. Again, the mother was the one pushing him toward the door. Does this seem like neglegence or abuse to you? Would CPS consider this to be abusive? Would CPS investigate a case like this? I was extremely shaken and upset when I watched it and immediately called my husband and told him about it. He called his brother and told him that he shouldn't be putting stuff like that up on Facebook. My brother in law said that it was an accident, that they don't see what was wrong with them uploading it onto Facebook, that they thought it was funny, that they were planning on sending it into America's Funniest Home Videos, and then asked my husband...."is that not okay? should we not do that?", said that the baby loved doing that and thinks it is fun, and that he usually puts his feet down to stop himself, and that was the only time that he didn't and just happened to hit the window. In addition, there is a picture on my brother in laws Facebook profile from about 2 weeks ago, of the 18 months old's face, with a left black eye, a scrape on the left side of his nose, a cut on his brow on the left side, 2 bruses at the top left of his forehead, and another scrape. My brother in law titled that picture "my son's first day of cagefighting". Someone else commented on that picture saying "WTF - what the f*=k" and my brother in law responded "ha ha...what?". In addition there is another picture from about a week ago of the 18 month old's face, with black stuff all around his mouth. My brother in law titled that picture "We just can't seem to keep him out of the ashes in the fireplace" My husband commented "um isn't that toxic or poisonious?" and my sister in law responded "I guess if you inhale it" then my brother in law commented and said "ha ha, no it's not ashes, its burnt bacon! He likes his bacon burnt?" My husband and myself have both told them that we didn't think that what they are doing is funny or okay, and they have continued to justify their behavior. In the process, my brother in law, his wife, and my mother in law, have all retaliated against my husband and I, saying that we are implying that they are child abusers and bad parents. They basically think that I am phycho for making any assumption and am trying to create drama in the family and tear it apart. My husband is supporting me, but no one else in the family is, and are now directly attacking me (even though, none of them have actually seen the video) My husband and I were the only ones who saw the video before they deleted it from Facebook. I was smart enough to download the video prior to them deleting it, just in case. I really need ya'lls advice!!! I am stuck in a really bad position! I seriously think what they did is wrong, and am concerned that they are continuing to justify it, will not speak with me or my husband about it, and I have no real way of knowing if they are still doing that to him (pushing him toward the glass door). But at the same time, me taking a stand really hasn't brought any good, hasn't resolved anything, and is seriously impacting my current and future relationship with my own husband as well as the entire family! So, I really wanted to get some outsiders advice on if this was abusive or not, and if it is worth me continuing to pursue at any cost (even if it means my marriage ends in divorce) If they continue to justify, should I report them to CPS? Thank you in advance for any advice!!! I have been sick for days over this and am really wanting to resolve the issue!

btaylorb btaylorb
26-30, F
3 Responses Aug 3, 2010

Keep a record just in case.

Its hard to judge without knowing, but keep an eye out. Save any strange photos or videos. If you get to watch your nephew, ask him questions. <br />
For example, sometimes kids can be taught the wrong word for something, so when they tell you about it, you won't ask. If a child says "Daddy put me in a time out." ask what a 'time out" is, because small children don't usually tell adults about mundane things like that.<br />
Also, beware if he is keeping secrets. Children don't keep secrets unless someone tells them too. <br />
Best wishes and good luck.

To be compleatly honest, the hard thing is not seeing the pictures, viedo and comments. You see, the things you stated could have a simple anwser. For example, the video. Not having seen it- it sounds to me like it could be truely intended or just as likely that it truly was a mistake and they posted it because they thought it was funny. Poor taste in humor- compleatly, but mistakes do happion.<br />
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Its hard for us to juge this withought knowing you too- no offence, and i am not juging you this way, but because this had been going on for so long for all the internet comunity knows you are a hyperactive thinker who is saying things in favor of abuse because you are worried. (the comment on baccon ash mand me wonder if they are -again bad humor- playing with you) It makes it too hard for the internet to make the jugment.<br />
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Does the child duck when his parents up up a hand is up? Does he seem fearful of them? And why would this end your marriage if your husband agrees with you? Im not trying to be rude and i hope you dont think i am, this is just such a serious matter that so much more needs to be explained.