My Sad Story

I grew up under the abusive whims of a drug addicted father. He only physically hurt me twice in my whole life, but once is too many. As for emotionally, that was MOST of my life....

The first abuse happened when I was a baby, so I don't remember it. But my mother told me what happened. She was holding me in her arms and my "father" was going through one of his rage moments. He was beating her, with me a baby in her arms... made a mistake and punched me too. I had to be rushed to the hospital. The doctors begged her to put him away, that it was dangerous for both me and her to stay around that man. But my mother didn't love me or herself enough to do that. Still claiming it was an accident. They did tell her that if he beats her, he will began to beat me too. She didn't believe them...

So, the second time was when I was seven. My sister and I were sitting in the living room, playing with a collection of pennies. My "father" was upset and sulking in a nearby chair, angry because he wanted money for drugs and my mother was claiming she didn't have any. She often did this, because she was trying to keep some money so we can eat. Meanwhile, she was in the kitchen, cooking what little food we had for dinner and hoping he would buy the lie....

Since I was the oldest, I felt as though I should have the most pennies. And my sister was whining that she wanted more. So, my "father" barked, "share them!" I threw a little tantrum, tossing the coins onto the floor, folding my arms and pouting, "fine!" I didn't throw them anywhere near my sister, which she herself often wonders about that too, and it wasn't really a big deal... just normal child behavior. But this got my "father" very angry...

He told me to come over to where he was. I stood up and walked over to the chair he was sitting, still pouting. He slapped me across the face so hard, that I fell to the floor. And then he got up and pounded my back and legs with fists. I screamed and cried. My sister was scared. My mother rushed from the kitchen. He then told me to go upstairs and wash my face. My mother gave him the last of the money and told him to get out. He left.

The next morning, I had to go to school in pain... a hand-print on my face... and bruises all over my body. The kids made fun of me, sing-songing "child abuse! child abuse!". My teacher, Mrs. Thomas and her assistant, took me into a bathroom and told me to remove my dress... they took notes on all of the bruises. And then my "father" was called into school. Problem was... he had made friends with my teachers and was very popular. So, all he had to do was put on a sad face and say, "I love my daughter. I'm just heavy-handed. I never meant to hurt her." And they just told him to apologize to me and sent me home with him. That's it.

But, he never hit me again, because he feared he couldn't talk his way out of it again. This was a very close call for him, because they did say if it happened again, they would have no choice but to report it. My mother was upset... she was hoping they would report it!

But, even though he never hit me again, he continued to hurt me emotionally. He would call me stupid, clumsy, fat, ugly, and a ****. Even though I stayed a virgin until I was 21.... And he would make fun of my teeth everyday, even though it was kind of his responsibility to get me braces. So, I would go to school and be teased all day, come home and be teased most of the evening by him. It didn't stop until I was 17 and my mother finally kicked him out of the house, for good.

And so... I can't stand to hear about child abuse or other children going through what I have or worse! Many think of physical attacks, when it comes to abuse. BUT, there are long lasting scares with emotional abuse too. I am still dealing with both, even as an adult. No child should be abused.


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2 Responses Oct 14, 2008

i was abused by my father to. Although he had no drug problems he was simply a cold man. My baby brother who is only two years old nearly died he was rushed to the hospital because he had bleeding in his brain, a fractured skull, fractures to his spine, a broken femer (bone in ur thigh), broken nose, broken elbow, fractured ribs. like i said he nearly died and i don't know what kind of "man" would hurt a baby. My "father" would grab me by my hair and sling me up against walls (i'm 12) and he would choke me hit me and bite me i would go to school covered in bruises and bite marks when the teachers asked i told them i fell and me and my brother where playing and he bit me i truley believed my "father" loved me but now i can see the truth i was protecting a monster

I am a child and domestic abuse survivor, as well as a mother of a sexually abused child. I am writing a book about ALL types of abuse to others know they are not alone in their struggle. My intention is to inform others where there is prevention, education, and support.<br />
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Education + Awareness = Prevention. I am inviting you to use my book as a platform share your testimony that will your contribution to spreading awareness. For your help I am giving a book; providing you pay the delivery. Authors may use their real name or be anonymous. I prefer 1200 words but will allow up to 1500.<br />
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I hope you will join me and the many other men, women, and organizations who are assisting me in my quest.<br />
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If you go I have extensive information, which includes letters of support from other professionals and samples of my writing. Or you may email: <br />
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I look forward to your reply. <br />
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Respectfully<br />
Sherry Clyburn