I Wish I Had Aborted Her.

I have come to the conclusion that motherhood is a biological trap. Your hormones make you irrational and drive you to procreate because no sane person would ever have kids otherwise. I hate my daughter who is now adult. I sacrificed, worked myself toward an early grave, and gave her everything within my means and she has turned into my greatest frustration and heartache. I did without so that she could have nicer things. I didn't take the risks in my career that I should have taken because I needed to provide stability for my kids. t can't trust her and all she wants is material things. She is hateful, mean and heartless. I really think that she is a sociopath or has some other deep seated mental disorder. The scary thing is that she is a nurse who hates people. All the love, sacrifice and financial strain; everything I did for this child was a waste. It was all for nothing. I wish i had had an abortion all those years ago. Thank goodness, I'm still young enough to have some kind of life.
kernan kernan
10 Responses Sep 8, 2012

What specifically does she say or do? Did you think about getting her diagnosed by a psychologist? Did anything bad happen to her? What is her side of the story? Although I want to feel sympathy for you, her side also matters as there are two sides to every story.

I keep telling people that the love between mother and child isn't guaranteed. Your story is living proof. Children can be very ungrateful, especially if they were not taught the value of actions born out of love. I'm not sure about that specific detail in your life since it was not mentioned what you taught her in that realm. But she sounds like a natural Faruka (from willy wonka). I'm not sure what all else you tried to teach her, but I can only assume you did your best. And you know what? Every kids is different. Kids can grow up in poverty with a crack head as a mother and still turn out an honest person with a respectable job. Kids can be raised in a million dollar home and taught the value of a dollar, only to grow up a greedy good for nothing deadbeat. It is every individuals decision to become a solution to this world or a problem. If she has decided she wants to be an ungrateful c***, that is all her. Just like if she winds up in prison, she would be there for what SHE did, not you. You would be free to live your life how you want. Let go of the things you cant change and you will truly be free. Hope this helps!

Hey Kernan. I am sorry about your situation. You sound like my late Aunt Helen. Your situation is identical to hers, except she enjoyed driving people insane, though she would never admit it.

This sounds cruel, but cut your loses. You have done your job as a mother and caretaker. You owe her nothing more. Hopefully, you are not expecting her to take care of you in your old age, because it won't happen. Go enjoy your life and let the ***** of a daughter to her own devices.

Hi Kernan. I'm Dianna. This is what happened with my Vo Marcy at one point. When she had her son Aiden, she wished she had aborted him because he could be very annoying, noisy, and he cussed a lot too. He was very hateful and didn't appreciate anything his mother bought for him. Little did Vo Marcy know that something was going on with Aiden in school.. She felt so guilty as he grew up. (She's 50 now and he's 24) He than never talked to a lot of people again. So it was one day when he was 17 she decided to ask him what's wrong. He told her everything and than said "Mom, you asked too late," than he opened the door back to his room and slammed it shut. She fixed the problem with another one of those "talks" and he told her sorry for what happened and that he was bullied at school.

You never know, Kernan..
She could've been molested, abused by a relative or sibling, ignored, or bullied like Aiden,


That must be really hard huh sweetie? I completely understand how you feel. It's not your fault. You did all you could. Now you just need to decide whether or not to confront her about all of this resentment.

OP, the fault lies mostly with you. You admit you "gave her everything". Since when does a child deserve "everything" without working for it? My parents didn't have much, and since I earned most of the money I had, knew the value of a dollar at an early age. Kids shouldn't be given "everything" as it turns them into selfish adults that think they "deserve" nice things. I'm sorry for your situation, I really am, but you are probably the root of the problem.

Wow, that was totally unsupportive. Maybe she meant, "I gave her everything I could within my means," which may not have been much.

Well, OP, children are a reflection of their parents, and I have to say your attitude sounds hateful enough! Take a look at yourself before throwing all your hate and frustration at your daughter. I see so many parents who can't stand their children in the same way, and I have to say that, as procreators, the joke's on you. I have no sympathy for your sort whatsoever.

I can tell you this, if you had ever experience having a child forcibly removed against your will from your body by a stranger who didnt care if you screamed. you would think twice about abortion, if you didnt want her there are plenty of people who would have adopted her. people who dont like kids really shouldent have them and should give them away to someone else who cant have kids.

I am so sorry she gives you so much grief. I am sure you had your good times with her through the years. You would not have surrendered yourself if there was not a blessing of love attached. I did abort mine.. I wish every single day that I did not. I regret it soo terribly. So trust me when I say the other road is not prettier. A life of regret sucks.

I've often said that humans are the smartest creatures in the universe. because any entity with even a bit more sense, would NEVER have offspring and would have died out as a species.<br />
I feel for you