I'm 55 and I Still Hate 'em. . .

. . .So take that, all you ignorant meddlers who told me when I was 15 and hated 'em, "You say that now, but. . ."


Forty years and I hate 'em more every year.


We don't change.  We just become more like ourselves with the passing years.


Time vindicates those who know themselves.


And you know what?  I'm proud to hate children.  Somebody's got to make up for all the breeders who love them. . .to death.


If you hate 'em and you have 'em, you and they will regret it.  My mother did and I do.


The planet will definitely regret it too.  Earth's population has, what--doubled?--in forty years.  In a few short decades there will be the equivalent of another whole China.  We're in crisis now--economies are tanking, the environment is dying, species are disappearing even as ours expands exponentially.  Voluntary won't fix it at this point--we need population mandates.  Everyone who makes the childfree choice today contributes to a better equation in the next generation, when the powers that be will have tough enough decisions to make.


I had no sense about a lot of things and still don't, but not having had children was the best thing I (n)ever did!  I am proud of it.


I shudder in horror at what my life would be had I let some tightass pulpit pounder or do-gooding Betty Crocker tell me, "You say that now, but. . ."  Don't ever let anyone shame you away from owning your own experience.  The closest person to you. . .is you.







Briar Briar
51-55, F
13 Responses Aug 8, 2008

hear, hear sister. i don't hate children, persay; i mean they can't help it that they were born, but i do resent what they represent: loss of time, money, freedom. i'm such an odd duck that no one bothers to dictate what i do, but i think it's annoying that so many people imagine it's their right to breed irresponsibly. the amount of resources spent on money, schools, early childhood educations boggles the mind. my fam spent tons of money on me as well but it was all a waste as far as I can tell: totally useless parents, terrible decision-making, to this day neither of them have a good grasp of who i am as a human being, and they never have. i don't have much better faith the parents and educators of today: likely just as selfish and inadequate. worked in childcare and saw all sorts of parenting fails, although nothing like the outright abuse I had to endure; why reproduce if you're just gonna do a ****** job raising them? no one deserves that.

Thank you!! I agree so much. I am 36 and don't ever want kids. The more people tell me 'I'll change' - the stronger my aversion grows.

You bring up a highly valid and important point - it's about knowing yourself. If more people knew themselves and really paid attention to their inner voice, many of them wouldn't have kids. But, it does take a lot of personal strength - because that means your true inner voice and self will have to be stronger than the relentless 'have a baby' marketing, parents, friends, etc. who will pressure you at every turn about it, and of course the overwhelming societal assumption that 'everyone wants a baby!'

My sister has a 3 year old and already resents it. She is an artist and has a ton of talent, that has all been scrapped to chase around her babbling, bobble headed, mushmouth of a kid. She caved in to all her friends who were ALL breeding away.

So while she spends every extra cent on diapers, baby food, crappy kid videos, etc - I am busy working on my own business, my music, my art, sleeping til noon, and buying a new Rebecca Minkoff bag - just saying ;)

When I got married at 28, my coworkers couldn't wait for me to have kids. All I heard was "so when are you going to have a baby?" over and over. Ick. Well, here I am at 45, happily, blissfully childless and every one of them that have kids confided privately to me that they, although they love their kids, if they had it to do over again, they wouldn't. THEY envy ME! LOL!! Well, now I'm on to all the moms out there.....they are secretly miserable because they had kids, and they don't want to see anybody childless, who enjoys life, gets to sleep late, spends their money for what they want, and doesn't have to scrimp and sacrifice to get braces, uniforms, college educations for junior. : )

Dear Briar,
I could not agree more. I never wanted children either. I hate them, ( Children) yet progressively, less as they get older. I cannot stand infants and toddlers. Useless screamers that take up all the attention in the room. Small children, a bit better, but who are now mean, cruel little liars. Pre teens, are materialistic little twits. Once they hit 13-14, I like them better, because some of them can actually display some intelligence; high school and college kids can be great, but by then they are not really children any longer. I avoid all children under 13. I cannot be bothered. I am Your age too, And I can relate to having to put up with all the know-nothing biddies that hated their own lives, so they wanted people like us to bear their misery too.
The only thing I could disagree with you on is the Betty Crocker comparison. I like cooking, and I enjoyed the hell out of the 1950's version of "her" book, the source of the greatest christmas cookie recipes ever !
I doubt those biddies every even cracked open a cookbook. All they knew was cheap velveeta cheese. Worthless Breeders, who were incapable of minding their own business. I am glad that they all have Alzheimer's now.

Yeah, well the Betty Crocker reference was pretty metaphorical. I'm not anti cooking either, although I think I prefer Fanny Farmer to Betty!

I like Fanny Farmer as well. I am a big fan of the Greens Cookbook and Fields of Greens, the sequel. Also Julia De La Croce Italian Cook books. Oh well, I got off topic. Small Children , I find, interfere with a serious interest in Cooking. Today the parents pander to undeveloped children's tastes, which really annoys me.
They do not try to educate their children on Good Food. May be a few are into Organic offerings, But they let kids tastes dictate blandness. We used to eat Adult foods growing up. No separate kid meals. I hate the whole "Kid-Centric" thing.

Yes, and another thing I never understood is the Chucky Cheese phenomenon. My idea of Hell, stuck in a Chucky Cheese with kids and their clueless parents for all eternity.

It is just a corporation pandering to lazy parents who want an easy cheap venue to bring children to for parties that they do not want to organize themselves. They offer bland cheap food, that children with undeveloped palates will eat, Every one is happy, and the mom does not have to clean up a mess. Uninspired, but the kids do not seem to care, and it does have it's place, I guess. If it keeps un-behaved toddlers out of normal restaurants, then I am all for it. We can elect to avoid hell , LOL !!!!

1 More Response

Good for you Briar for sticking with your convictions! Same to everyone. We've all been programmed to believe we're SUPPOSED to have children (you'll understand when YOU have children) or (someday you'll have children of your own) or (you're still young, you can still have children) or (you'll want children when you meet the right person) or (how can you NOT like children) blah blah blah. The only thing I don't agree with is population mandates - I shutter to imagine MORE mandates - aren't we suffering from ENOUGH people with ENOUGH mandates for everything. Our freedom is compromised enough without more mandates; I am a member of VHEMT and wish more people realize how socially irresponsible it is to contribute MORE people to an already overflowing planet. Between 1929 and 1973 we HAD a Eugenics Board in the US, and thousands of people were sterilized against their will. I find it funny that we see this as a "dark chapter" in our history but it's OKAY to sterilize animals to "control" their population. Animals respect the planet and have a much more noble purpose for being here than any human. I haven't any suggestions for overpopulation just on a different note I resent further governmental mandates on anything - our government is so huge because our population is so huge, and it's made up of more flawed humans. Forgive me though this is a whole other rant!

My husband's daughter got knocked up 3 years ago and tried to live with us. I flipped out after about a month of listening to that squalling, drooling, bubble-headed **** machine disturb my every waking moment in MY HOUSE. She moved in with her boyfriend. Now she's about to have another bastard and wants us to babysit the original retard because she'll be 'too tired' with the new thing she ***** out. Waaa, waaa. A little less unprotected *******, please. Can't ******* stand it. Now I'll have to watch my husband gasping and clapping like a moron with the 3 year old. Could kick them both down the stairs.

You just made me smile.

You've really made me laugh too but I feel so sorry for you :(

Thank you very much for posting! You perfectly articulate EXACTLY how I feel. I loathe children with a burning passion as well, and I hope I never have any of those disgusting, germy, evil, little rodents. :-)

they are grotesque, i agree

Hahah xD Yep Im 17 and have always hated kids even when i was one, and i said that i NEVER want children and that i probably never will have sex eather, and my mother and everybody else said and still says "You will change your mind later" or as you so nicely said "You say that now just wait until you grow up" Fine if i become rich i will adopt a kid and let someone else raise it so it can take over all my money and stuff ;)

Children haters of the world unite, definitely. I've also been getting the "you'll change your mind" bull since forever. Nice to know that other people share the same sentiments. We're definitely a minority here, but hey. Screw them. "People don't change, they only become more fully what they already are. :)

Thank you thank you thank you. I find myself reading your story today because at age 48 I am still perpetually annoyed by "mommy-trackers" who act like something is going to jump off of me and onto them when I say I don't have kids and don't want any. Why do people think that just because they took an irrevocable misstep, everyone else should be expected to do it too?

Yes! I think thats envy of our freedom. They are trapped for life, so when they see us, they say that kind of s**t, so we would join them in their prison. NO THANKS. By the way, I'm a 33 years old woman.

Yeah, I got plenty of that s--t myself. No less infuriating than what is said is the way it is said. The condescending tone itself fills me with rage. I say children-haters of the world, UNITE!

I'm 20 and I have gotten and still continue to get the same "you say that now.. but.." bullsh*t since I was 13. Why is it so hard to believe some people just aren't meant to deal with children?