I Cannot Stand Them!

Really. And I have heard it all. "When it's yours, you'll feel different", "you're still young", "you'll change your mind" (I want to punch people who tell me that. I know my own effing mind!) and of course the old, tired nonsense that EVERYONE who knows me has spouted at some point; "you were one yourself..." OH MY SPONGEBOB!!
Noisy, irritating, smelly, LOUD, obnoxious little *****, why in hell would I want to be burdened with one of them for the rest of my life? I'd shut the damn thing in a cupboard until it learned to shut the **** up!

Okay, I wouldn't really. Despite that rant, I actually wouldn't intentionally harm a child without very good reason - but given the choice, if I never had to see, hear or worse, smell one of them ever again, I would be happy. I don't like children, I don't see a single good thing about popping one out and I certainly am not willing to put an end to my life and the things I enjoy doing for the next eighteen years to take care of one.

And Note to Parents;
If your little brat, sorry darling, comes up to me, shouts at me, touches me, tries to grab any of my possessions or bites, kicks, scratches or pulls my hair (yes, these have all happened to me before), rest assured you and your badly behaved little crotch dropping will continue to regret it. I wouldn't let anyone away with that kind of behaviour and bleating 'he/she is only a child' won't stop me putting you and it in hospital.
LunarFelis LunarFelis
26-30, F
10 Responses Jan 8, 2013

I find cultivating a good "death stare" (you know the one) helps. I've had kids throwing fits who shut up once the Icy Gaze of Death is upon them. It works best when they're still little, because their Pavlovian responses haven't been dulled yet.

lol crotch dropping haha I love this article

well I'm sorry for your problems with kids some can be very well behaved and not litlle brats at all my friends four yearold sister sits quietly hours upon hours while her dad is learning hebrew she just sits outside watching annie

"some can be very well behaved and not little brats"

And the corollary of this is that most are not well behaved; most are little brats.

Couldn't agree more!

That made me lol.

Love it!! Nothing wrong with how you feel. Most smart people hate kids!! LOL Funny how you mention them touching possessions....I was working a temp job I do every fall a couple months ago...a clueless ignorant mother (which is most of them) has her kid with her...I have a radio on my counter...the little bastard is touching EVERYTHING...talking gibberish and then knocks it off the counter...and the mother just giggles like it's no big deal. I said don't you teach your kid not to touch stuff? And want to give me $$ for this if it is broken? I gave her such a look of DEATH...that she and her little demon bastard went away VERY QUICK!!

We smart folks seems to be a dying breed as the morons spawn though :( I'm ROTFL at your story - I love people who can give that look. I'd have shaken your hand, had I been there. Will you settle for a virtual high five?

I actually used to work with kids and they DO get their mitts on everything. One toddler was slapping his hands against the screen of an expensive computer and when I said, in my sweetest voice, "Hon, you don't want to do that", his grandmother bawled me out for daring to tell HER baby not to do something.

I f'ing hate kids too. I thought I was the only one. I fell in love with a woman 10 years ago..8 months she finds me on fb and I'm excited as ever. But wait, she had a kid...FML right. We are still together now but it is a battle dealing with her 5 year old daughter. She has a terrible attitude, she's spoiled as **&%, and she talks to her mother any kind of way she wants and she is only 5. Only 13 more years until I get to kick her out...wish me luck.

Good luck dude. I feel your pain :(

Get out and be this woman's friend instead. Then you can go home to your own pad without having to deal with little Miss Princess.

Why should she? She's already been taught that there are no consequences for rudeness.

My partner thinks exactly like you do about kids. she said she loves them when they are babies but when they are toddlers and older she can't stand them. I have a 5 year old. You can imagine how all that is working out for me. Is there anything that you can tell me or to give me insight on the feelings ya'll have with kids? does it come from ya'lls own childhood? or anything like that? I really want my child and my partner to get along and just have a bond. it doesn't have to be strong or anything just something but i feel as thought it is not going to happen because of the way she feels...just like you...i don't understand they way ya'll think when it comes to children but i'm trying to leave an open mind to you and my partner's feelings. thanks for the help!

Ooh sweetie - that's a tough one:( I'm afraid I really can't help though - if someone I was dating told me that they had a kid, I'd call it off immediately. Maybe try organising some things you can do together - like a theme park or something, nothing where they're in contact constantly - and see how that goes. Best of luck :)

My dad was in a relationship with a woman who couldn't stand kids for 5 years, but he expected it to be like the Brady Bunch and to have a blended family with all of us getting along. She just didn't like kids, period, and the whole situation was just forced. I knew she didn't like being around me, and it made me uncomfortable. I think if my dad had accepted that his relationship with her had to be separate from his relationship with my sister and I, it would've been much easier. He just HAD to have the Brady Bunch, though, and it blew up in all of our faces.

I did not have an ideal child hood upbringin but I learned what you don't like in others is because you don't like it in yourself... Its tough to understand that point of view. though.. PEACE :)

You have a point - if I was stupid, helpless, noisy, smelly and irritating constantly I would probably dislike myself. But since I'm not... I can't really see your point. Peace out :)

LOL :)

Hi I just read your post... I bet you didn't have a good upbringing as a child and plus every human being on the planet deserves patience, understanding, and love. We are Humans.
Doesn't matter what age you are. Children are often times misunderstood. They understnad very well wha tis going on. They are innocent ...

Ohh, how did I miss THAT tired cliche?? Since you know nothing about my upbringing (which actually was awesome) I'm afraid your opinion is competely invalid. Peace out.


Hey, I'm sorry. That was a little snarky. I don't like it when people assume I had a cr*p childhood, but you weren't to know. I apologise x