Toddlers + Restaurants = Oil And Water

This isn't a story as it is a rant that lays down a law-or two.

Hey to you all who have kids, toddlers specifically!

I know at that age your "precious little angel" (insert sarcasm here) is prone to doing things that others might consider a little annoying, me included. Normally, I usually don't have a general problem with them as long as they are seen and NOT heard when I'm trying to share public space with others. I try to be courteous and helpful. But theres something I just have to get off my chest to those people whose little demonic hellspawn feel the need to scream in my ear at the top of their lungs!!!

And I'm talking at the VERY TOP of their capacity, straining their tiny, little vocal cords till they snap like old rubber bands in the hot sun! And I'm NOT talking about ordinary everyday screaming, I'm referring to the Jamie Lee Curtis level screaming here. Epic DEFCON scream!!!!!!!!

If the answer is yes, then do me a favor. Will you NOT bring them with you into your favorite, fast food restaurant-(Because hey, here's a crazy thought by some magical coincidence there might be others who share the same favoritism and so frequent the place as a result.)-Then proceed to sit down in the restaurant and destroy the up-till-then overall, uneventful experience of every other patron in the place. When all we're doing and all we really wanna do is sit there and and enjoy our fattening, heart-disease causing food in peace and quiet!

And yet, you still sit there with your child, who everybody obviously at this point has figured out, LIKES to scream. And I'm not talking about the kind of scream because they are uncomfortable, or they stubbed their toe or got poked in the eye. Or heaven forbid, you actually slapped them in the face because they/or it is a little B. R. A. T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, I mean screaming because they are not getting their own way and they want ATTENTION!!! Primarily yours, and undivided at that. And your trying to get some much-needed/desperate social interaction- (provided someone is actually SANE enough to talk to you, rather than pretend NOT to know you)- that you've been deprived of since the its conception. And the little leech gets offended that you even dare to find out that the grass might be greener on the "other" side of the fence, stuff that hasn't been torn up by its own filthy, greedy little hands. Because it hasn't figured out, or is too short to work a gate latch.

So in turn, they scream because it pretty much guarantees attention from you even if its just to yell "shut the f)uck up" yourself!

Kind of annoying and gives me the urge to chuck my fries at its head. But if I did that, you'd just get mad at me as if it was MY fault your child could double as a hurricane evacuation alarm.

Moral of the story, get take out, order a pizza and Netflix. Just get the f)uck out of the restaurant and leave the rest of us alone and in blessed SILENCE!!!

TheTwilightQueen TheTwilightQueen
26-30, F
Mar 5, 2010