Like A Dementor.

The only holiday I hate as much as Valentines Day.
Christmas is a soul sucking vampire, making me feel like I'll never be cheerful again. I dread this day. The expectations, the greed, the loneliness, the fake smiling faces. The realization that you are alone and poor. I don't have a husband, boyfriend, or children to spend this 'special day' with. There are many other times I feel lonely and sad, but this day in particular is like an overpowering blanket of sorrow that sinks into your bones. This year I will again end up alone in a room, drinking a whole bottle of wine, and feeling like a pathetic loser that no one cares about.
mcap247 mcap247
4 Responses Dec 9, 2012

My hubby died on Valentine's Day and this is my 2nd xmas without him. No children of my own. His daughter and her family live a distance away and it's just as well. They don't acknowledge my existence anyway, at least not in any meaningful way. Oh I get the xmas greeting but I think it's just to make them feel better. I'll be so glad tomorrow is gone after it's gone. I'm up late hoping I can sleep through the day.

Well, cheer up, it could be worse. You could have a house full of children whose whole sense of self and future happiness is depending on YOU! When you look around at all the material crap they already own on the floor being stepped on and all you can see is dollar signs and hours of hard work that went into earring them, you totally snap! You'd want to (and perhaps may actually even threaten to) cancel Christmas all together! You might tell them they're ungreatful brats or other spirit breaking things. You may take out a box of garbage bags and start sweeping up all the crap from Christmases past and throwing them in the garbage bags to send to kids who "deserve" them. See, it isn't so great having a family around at Christmas. Enjoy the freedom and peace it provides. I would trade places with you in a heart beat this year. What I would give for the solitude and relief of being alone this year!

Way to trivialize my feelings on the subject. Why didn't you just write your own post instead of making a comment on mine?
If your children only value you for the material things you buy them, the only person here to blame is the one that keeps buying them crap. The whole point of gift giving is the feeling you get by doing so, not what you get in return. I don't feel sorry for your situation, and I sincerely hope that you never wake up alone on Christmas with no one to love you.

“You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”
― Max Ehrmann, Desiderata: A Poem for a Way of Life

Try doing something new this Christmas - read a book, or go for a walk even if just around the block. You will be amazed at how a small positive change in your usual pattern can redirect your life. Kia kaha, be strong.

where do you live?