I Didn't Always Hate Christmas But ...

Here I am to share my story with you.
I loved christmas, until I got 17 years old. Many bad things happened in my life, so I end up having no friends, generally, no one cares about me except my family. Until 17 years old I loved christmas, I loved seeing the christmas trees, the music, the life. But until there.
Christmas for me and especially new years eve, is the worst thing for me. I'm so depressed, that I want to get anesthesia this period or just move to north pole along with polar bears.
While others are having fun and so on, I am totally depressed and all I do is crying, because I can't see any future for me, and all I hope is to have an acciedent and die. I am alone, despite I have my family. I have no friends to have fun, I have nothing. When I see and hear about christmas stuff, the anger is getting bigger and bigger. All I want to say is go all to hell and leave me alone.
That's my story, sad but true.
maikgr20 maikgr20
18-21, M
1 Response Dec 24, 2012

I kinda feel the same, and I am older than you, too. You are still so young and have lots to live for. I am lonely at Xmas as well. Only my family give a damn about me too no one else really. I have friends, but they have their own lives to lead at this time of year.

I have some classmates from my school, we used to go out few times but they forgot me at christmas. All I wanted is to be able to have fun with few friends at christmas, to be like everyone else. Apparently I asked too much. They don't care about me. So I hate this period so much. Can't see the time to pass ...
Also you said that I'm so young. Yes I am... I am 21 btw. But depression is killing me. It's actually sadness, not clinical depression.

I know how you feel. I really do. I get so depressed too, when i feel no one cares. I'm 28, and I do not wanna get to thirty and still feel like this. Thirty seems so old and mature, and I can't believe I'm nearly there. THAT in itself depresses me too! I am gonna have a lonely Xmas I can't wait for it to be over.