I hate Christmas.... and always have. It all stems from my childhood. My mother was and still is a Biach in the worst way. She was very abusive both physically and emotionally to some members of my family including me. It is something I have never gotten over.
I remember recieving gifts at christmas time... gifts she knew I would never use... like a hockey stick. I am sure I got one of those every year for ten years even though she knew I would never use it. It ended up being used by one of my brothers. I remember recieving real nice gifts... from my dads company christmas party. Without fail... I remember my mom... confiscating that gift; then a few months later giving it to a brother as a birthday gift.
After I left home and made a life for myself.. I eventually got married and have 4 children. I still hated christmas. Its a depressing time of year for me.
Remember Sesame Street? They have a christmas special called Christmas eve on sesame street? A song sung on that show became my theme song for life called I Hate Christmas sung by oscar the grouch.
I would sing that song at the top of my lungs when it came on. My kids never realized how much truth their was in that song to me. I always put on a brave face and a happy act.... but truely hate it.
My kids are grown up now... and left the nest.
They know my true feelings now.... and the whys.
A couple years ago I had a christmas I will never forget. It was a happy one... but sad too. My kids all pitched in and bought me a home theatre package including the big screen television. When I opened that gift and saw what it was I broke down and cried. I bet I cried for an hour... I was in such shock and it was the first time they had ever seen me react this way. I was so overcome with emotion.... so humbled to be recieving such a gift... that my kids worried about my reaction. It was after that.... I opened up more to them about my childhood.
I explained to them... why their grandmother never ever gave them cards or gifts... for christmas or birthdays. I explained how I was abused as a child and how it has affected me to this day. I am now in councelling... dealing with my past and present problems. Its a tough road... a long painful journey I am working on to put the past behind me.