Do I Really Hate It???

I love biology and nature, and as far as i remember i've always loved it, so right now im studying biology at university. Im halfway through and i think i really hate it :O i dont know what to do!! classes are soooo boring, i cant pay attention for more than 15 minutes; waking up every morning feels like a burden, i dont go to school because i like it, i go because i know i have to go; i dont enjoy my lessons; i study but i dont learn, i just memorize, and i pass because i study one day before my test, not all semester long; i spend all day at school because of my schedule and i get home so tired i dont feel like doing homework or studying IM SO FED UP, i dont know if im overloaded because of al the homework and all the time that i spend at school or i really hate biology lessons :S. Besides that, I dont have any friends at school, ive tried to make friends but im shy so it just wont work, people dont seem to like me, they dont seem interested in spending time with me, its just like whenever peolple are hanging out with me, just are arround me because they dont have anyone better to be with; i spend all day long walking alone down the aisles, i dont have anyone to talk to, i eat alone all the time and i hate it!!! im so shy and i think people see me as boring and quiet so they dont welcome me to their social groups. Worse of all is i have this huge crush on a super cute boy, but im so f***ing introverted i never talk to him and i guess hates me, because he always says hi to all the girls in my class but never says hi to me :( oh gosh, theres no way i could ever talk to that cutie, i get so nervous arround him

gooosh!!!! i totally hate my life! theres nothing else that i love more than animals, plants, dna, proteins, etc, so i think biology should be right for me, then, why am i feeling like crap at university????????????? why cant i make friends if i try my best???????
danonino0o danonino0o
18-21, F
7 Responses Jun 5, 2011

I have studied biology in college just as you have. Sometimes I felt like my whole life revolved around my classes and my grades. I gave up weekends and breaks to study for tests that I don't even remember any more. I was a studyholic. I studied things that I didn't even need to know. I had no friends just people who were aquaintances. I sometimes feel like ive missed out on my young adult years. I also got into a lot of debt as well because I would use money to help me feel better about myself.

It's hard to love a machine; machines don't care one whit about what you like or dislike. <br />
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College is one of the worst places to be a person who loves to learn for the sake of learning. That mentality can get readily squashed by the gears of higher education.<br />
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As for being shy, it never really gets easier. You might get lucky and meet someone who's equally shy, although the probabilities of that happening are not very good for obvious reasons. Society is a cruel mistress.

I UNDERSTAND YOU ALL THE WAY. I FEEL THE SAME WAY. IM SO OUT OF TOUCH. Especially when there are people who stare at you like an outsider. but your interest are with subjects that dont require lots of humans. but that also doesnt mean you dont wanna be included.

I wouldn't presume to offer any advice to you at this moment because every persons situation is different. For me, my year away from school allowed me to work a bit, clear my head and I then went back to a smaller school with more academic and family support. If I HAD to do it over again, I would never have messed that first year up so bad to begin with, but live and learn I suppose. Only you know your situation best and what would be best for you. But if you do decide to take a hiatus, don't despair, you're still young and if you feel you can get your life back on track there is plenty of time to jump back on the horse. Whatever you decide, I wish the very best for you. :)

Everything you described about how you feel in college is exactly how I felt when I was in college. I was SO excited to get there after high school, and thought I would do just as well academically, but once there, and living on my own for the first time, it was such an eye opener. I had no friends, no confidence and ended up falling into pretty bad depression. I went to the classes because I HAD to, not because I wanted to and even the subjects that I enjoyed before I now hated and felt this was not what I signed up for. My grades suffered which only hurt my confidence and self-esteem more because in high school I was the "brain" and did well in all my subjects. It just spiraled from there to the point where I had to take a year off and try to readjust. I'm so sorry that you're in the same boat and I wish that I had some magical formula to find your confidence and make friends, but alas if I knew how to do it I would have done it. All I can do is tell you that you're not the only person to feel this way entering college so just know you're not abnormal. It may not feel good, but it's not something that you have to go through alone. :)

did your year off helped? do you recommend it to me? or should I stay and hope for the best??

I liked nature too, before I went to college...

OMG!!! and then what happened??? tell me, please!!

When you graduate... you will be sooo proud :)<br />
i mean im a bit of a quitter, but i haven't even gone to uni yet.<br />
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I would be your friend :)

Thank you, my friend, those are really nice words, I think me and my familiy will be very proud when I graduate. And how about you? are you planning on going to college or not just yet?