It Is Sooooooooooooo Boring!

I didn't HATE college, but I kind of disliked it. (I'm a sophomore, by the way, completing my fourth semester.)

I'm taking a major that doesn't interest me that much (chemistry) and I feel like I'm wasting my time and not really doing anything important. Although I realized that I might be able to change it to science writing. (I like art and writing.)

Also, there is too much responsibility, and I am not a responsible person. I don't like being 18--that is, 19 now. I don't like "being on my own"; it makes me insecure. I guess I'm not very independent or street smart. 

It's also boring. There was never anything to do. I am quiet and reclusive; I made a few friends--or should I say acquaintances--but mostly these were older women, and one boy I met (--rather, talked to) on Myspace before seeing in real life at college, and my recent boyfriend. So I don't go to parties. Even if I were to attend one (I think it sounds like fun) I would probably enjoy the first couple of parties and then realize that they are nothing special.  

In high school it was like there was a "community" that you were part of; it was more structured or something, more "cozy," and there was more grandeur and excitement to it. There was just an atmosphere about it that is not in college.

It is better than working at Taco Hell, however, and someone on Yahoo Answers had an interesting quote that pertains to this, but I won't quote it because I don't want to steal it. About the fear of working at fast food. Furthermore, I am afraid to work at a factory for fear of being poisoned.

I also happen to be a woman, which narrows my horizons even more. Also the fact that I am 5'0" narrows my horizons.

I think I am just lazy and I hate working in general. Well, to be more precise, I hate workign in structured environments. By this I mean I hate being bored for hours and doing the same thing every day and not competing and being afraid of my higher-ups firing my ***. This is why I'm looking for a white collar job (at least you get weekends off and higher salary.) I had these unrealistic fantasies that something exciting would happen, like being a chemist and all I would end up stealing drugs for people, carrying around a gun, like in the underground crime movies.

Back to college. I would say that I don't like paying, but that's more of my parents' problem.

Also I hated how I continually lost personal items too, when I took the train every day and had to carry stuff around. I actually lost my wallet four times. The first three times, miraculously, people actually turned it in.

It is okay this semester because I got more "involved." I attempted volunteering and I recently got a job tutoring elementary school children. I have a boyfriend now too. Yet still it is lacking.

Going to Ohio State next year, for the last two years. Hopefully it will be better.


Erin89 Erin89
Mar 14, 2009