I Can't Stand My College

 I'm a college freshman, and its been a month since I moved in.  In the beginning I had high expectations.  I knew it would be hard, but I thought I could handle it.  I went around to peoples rooms and introduced myself (im a really shy person, so I usually don't do that) and I was feeling pretty good that I was now in college.  As the days went on, nobody came to introduce themselves to me.  I thought since I got the ball rolling, people would like to come talk to me.  That was a lie.  

Now, a month into college, I can't stand it here.  I miss my family so much, and I just want to be able to go home.  I'm not a party person and I don't drink so its a little hard finding friends who agree with me.  I've joined a couple clubs but their really intense about what their doing.  I thought it was gonna be more about having fun and getting to know people, but its not like that at all.  I go to class everyday and I try to pay attention, but I hate it here so much that I'm just not motivated to work hard in my classes. I'm doing good so far, but as the weeks go on, I'm afraid that I might start failing classes, and then my parents will kill me.  People tell me all the time that college is the best years of you life.  I feel like im letting them down in a way because I can't stand it here.  My friends who have gone away to college absolutely love it.  I feel so jealous of them because thats not what is happening to me at all.  People also tell me that I'll finally get away from my parents.  I never saw college as "getting away" from my parents.  I love my parents and love to spend time with them.  I think I made the wrong choice of moving away.  My plan is that second semester I'm gonna transfer to my community college back home.  I know thats not the ideal plan, but it will get me with my family again, and it will cost so much less.  I might also finally figure out what it is I want to do with my life.  I hope the next 2 and a half months go by quick.  I just want this experience to be over.  That is so pathetic, but its true.

cbear98 cbear98
18-21, F
162 Responses Sep 26, 2009

I spent a good chunk of time the beginning of my freshman year dreaming of transferring schools. I had been looking at different colleges across the country since I was in seventh grade and going into senior year I knew exactly what type of college I was interested in: a large school right in the middle of the city and preferably somewhere far away from my small town in MA. I also wanted a school with a great business program. Senior year was hard for me. I did fine academically but between college essays and application due dates I spent the year in a state of panic and uncertainty for my future. Even looking back on my college process it seemed like the schools I was applying to were random and not quite as calculated as I had hoped. When it came down to choosing my college I was terrified of making the wrong and choice and spent two weeks in a sleepless panic trying to choose between my two final schools. I think it should also be noted that the two schools I had narrowed my final decision down two were my parents alma maters. My mom had attended a large state school in MA and my dad had attended a small, private, Catholic college in Providence, RI. The two schools could not have been more different and when it came time to make my decision I chose the small, Catholic school. I think I just panicked and stuck with a setting I knew I could handle: a small school.
Like many people, I struggled trying to adjust to college life. My school is known to have lots of parties, but it also has a very strenuous core curriculum. Between the two year course on Western Civilization, two philosophy classes, an ethics class and two more theology classes I don't feel I have any sort of freedom to explore my interests. I am also an accounting major, and though the program is excellent at my school it is also another restraining factor in my schedule. Though I feel the academics are a great fit for me, I do not like the social aspect of my school. By the end of my first semester I had found a great group of friends and we are all planning on living together next year, but I can't see myself staying here more than another year at the most. I have this gut feeling that I should transfer schools. Now that I'm seeing people transfer out of this school at the beginning of my Spring semester I find myself wishing I was leaving. I don't know what to do or how to tell my parents I want to leave a school they love. I just feel stuck and honestly nothing seems to appeal to me anymore. I feel like I've already outgrown my school.

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I am the exact same way!! I'm at this college that is 10 hours away from my home and I hate it. I play ball up here and they made us come back early from winter break and all I want to do is turn around and go home. My dad supported my decision to not come back this semester but my mom wants me to stick it out until May because I've transferred colleges a couple times, but I'm trying to convince her to let me quit the team and go back home. I'm depressed when I'm up here and find it hard to make friends so hopefully I can get back home and be the happy outgoing person I once was!

Hope everyone got through their first semester okay. I really don't want to go back for my second semester as the first four months of school were really difficult. First, I tried to talk to a lot of people and invite them to hang out so we could get to know each other (like the original poster from '09), but no one ever wanted to. Feeling alone, I tried to make it better by partying but it just made me feel worse about myself and then a couple weeks in I kept getting sick. By early Nov. i found out i had mono, which made school and trying to find my fit a lot harder. My plan (and hopefully this helps others) is to try to do things that make me happy often. i am taking one fun art class next semester, my friend and i are joining a club together, and i am going to find time to read books i enjoy to fill the time when i am lonely and sad. feel free to message me if you want to talk to someone who knows how you feel :)

I understand exactly what you're going threw. I searched "unhappy at college" and I found all these other people who just really hate their situation. It sucks. It feels a little better to know other people are going threw the same thing though! I'm transferring, and I thought I left having to apply to colleges in highschool. I'm constantly stressed and anxious and I just want to go back home and spend time with my friends (most of them stayed behind). I'm hoping to go to a school in my home state. I really hope everything works out for you!

i feel you, i feel like i'm wasting precious time here and every day is just so taxing. i've been picking up books and hanging in the library to pass the time. also helps if you can find 1-2 close people that you can talk to about it and that can help you through it!

I am going through the same thing. Im at wellesley college right now, and am from California. I hate it here. its quite, isolated, in the middle of a dead town, and so so so far away from home. I never thought the location and environment would effect me so much, but I really am being horribly effected by the culture shock and the aspect of being across the country from home. I feel so sad all the time. To be frank, the only reason I came here is because it's such a top ranked school and has small class sizes and what not. But I never ever ever wanted to leave CA, or be this far from home. At this point, I am not even able to put myself to my fullest potential bc of how I'm feeling all the time. I've made friends, I go out to Boston every weekend, but I just can't get this place to click for me. I just keep wanting to transfer and feel like I made a mistake. I just don't know. I'm trying to make it to the end of this semester and then am most likely transferring out. even making it until then feels so difficult and overwhelms me. Can people who went through similar things explain if they transferred or pulled through? I don't know what to do. Should I transfer or just pull through and keep pushing myself? I feel as if there's no point being here if I'm going to feel like this. I just need someone to say hey I went through the same exact thing, and I transferred, and that was definitely the right decision. ya feel?

someone please reply as soon as u can :) thank u!!

if you have /are going to transfer

messaged you!

hi ! i accidentally forgot my password to that account, do u mind messaging me what you said on this one instead!! haha sorry thank u!

Im so with you. I am thinking of transferring out of my school to and going back home to California. I picked my college because it had small classes but i have no friends an just basically hang out by myself. I want to go to college closer to my hometown. You're not alone :)

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I'm in the same situation, almost 2 months into my freshman year and I hate all of it. I cry every day, almost compulsively, and I hate that to because I'm not a cryer. When people see me, because there is no privacy in college, I feel embarrassed and horrified and everything makes me angry. I'm considering leaving for community college like you, but in a year I'll have to transfer back to a 4 year. If I leave the small, rural school I'm at, the only other option in a school in the city. If i can survive second semester, only 5 more months, I could get an appartment next semester. But honestly I almost have a panic attack if I image 5 more months.

I know this was put up a long time ago, but you just described my current situation to a T. I'm a first semester freshman and I absolutely hate my college. I do like to party, however, but I usually go with people I don't know that well. Can I ask you what you ended up doing and how it worked out for you?

I identified with so many things you've said in this post, and in all of the replies..

So I came to this college (UVa) because I wanted a great job at the end and I realize now that my reasoning was horrible. I should've considered my happiness much more, but I just wanted to make my parents and myself proud. I'm a city guy from the northeast and I cannot stand it here in Virginia. I'm used to diversity and always having something to do but this town is literally just the college. I've cried my eyes out and been so depressed and I just want to go back home already but I have to wait till the end of the year to transfer due to technicalities. I'll be giving up the more prestigious college, but I want to be where I'm most happy. It makes me feel better to know I'm not alone, I've just felt so horrible and like I'm wasting my time here; I wake up every day depressed. I used to be the most optimistic, energetic, motivated guy ever. Now I'm deflated and waiting for the day I return. (when i went home for break I returned to my elevated state, only to be crushed when I came back to college). Any advice to keep me up? Thanks!

This thread has literally made me feel so much better. I have read the comments over and over again. I read this post when I feel sad. I even have this favorited on my computer. I feel like this original writer is me. These were sentences that I have said. I just started college in August and I am so unhappy here. It is officially midterm so I made it half way. The last four weeks have be nothing but sadness and tough times. I'm usually so strong but I'm not with this. This post makes me feel like I'm not alone. There are so many comments from 2009 until today and it makes me feel better. I really wish I wasn't in this situation, but I am. I have to finish this semester strong. I am transferring in December and I cannot wait. The only reason why I'm sticking it out is so that I can bring my credits with me. I've considered withdrawing and loosing 100% of my money and having no credits, but I'm stronger than that. I'm making myself stay here and finish and it's really going to feel good to move out and drive away from here. I cant wait to feel the relief of so much weight lifted off my shoulders. I'm trying to find stuff to do to keep myself occupied, but like the original post says, being in clubs isn't what its cracked up to be. I'm part of 4 clubs and no one talks to me and they all have their friends, so I feel like an outcast. I need to stop staring at the calendar and seeing how far from December we are. I have so many countdowns it's ridiculous. But I can do this! I am strong!!!!I can't say anything bad about the school I'm at but all I know is it's not for me. I'm taking a chance and moving on. Mistakes are just part of life, but I'm hoping I'm making the right choice.I'm excited to overcome this and start a new fresh chapter. Thank You for this post, it not only has helped me make my choice, it helped my parents figure out how I really feel and help support me through this (I made them read it). I appreciate this experience, but I'm glad it'll be over soon. I can do it!

We are in such similar situations, I identify with you and feel for you! I'm sadly sticking it out for the full year, but i'm taking it 3 weeks at a time(going home for the weekend every 3 weeks) but it's so hard to live the days out. Hope we can talk some time and make it easier on each other <3

I am literally going through the same exact thing!! I just keep thinking I can make it through , and that I should keep on trying but at this point I really want to transfer...im not sure though. i keep thinking i may regret doing so just bc this school is "top 4 liberal arts school in the nation" and its driving me insane. i like am even afraid to end up liking it cause i hate it so much and i have to leave...does that even make sense? haha

This makes perfect sense I feel the exact same way....... I'm almost positive I'm going to transfer to a university closer to home though because I will never know if I would be happier if I don't try

all these posts have made me feel so much better. I still hate where I am and I am still so homesick but realizing that I am not alone makes it a little easier. Just keep swimming guys :)

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This thread has got me thinking.
I have been at my college for three weeks now, and it's been the most emotionally draining and confusing time in my life. The first week was filled with crying and panic attacks every morning and night. I'm an extremely sensitive person who is very close to her family and doesn't like change, so I thought, "Well, maybe this is just a tough transition period. I'll get over it". I've since stopped having panic attacks, but I have this constant sadness and a gut feeling that I'm not supposed to be here. I don't particularly love the college or the people within it (I dont hate it either). I'm 2000+ miles away from my family. My college is in a town with not much to do, far away from the city (San Francisco, which I love by the way). The only time I've felt happy was when I got off of campus for class trip; doing something active really helped take my mind off of my issues. But when I set foot on campus again, I felt irritated and depressed. I like my classes (simply because I enjoy learning), but they are irrelevant to what I want to do in life. I may not even be able to pursue the major/minor that I want here. Transferring is a very real possibility that my parents support; the university in my hometown is at the same caliber as the college I am currently attending. I don't know if I should transfer mid year, or stick it out until the end of the school year. There are just so many thoughts swirling around in my brain. I change my mind constantly. I know that I'll have regrets regardless of the decision that I make, because I've made a couple of great friends here. I'm just so utterly confused and lost, because one moment I want to leave, and another moment I think it might be beneficial to stay. What if transferring is the wrong decision?

You have to do what makes you happy :)
I decided that I'm transferring after this fall semester. I can't wait to start fresh somewhere else. I realized that I have to do whats best for ME. I know how you feel with the sadness of walking back onto campus, I feel it every time. But I'm going to stay strong and finish strong and so should you! :D
Transferring is just a chance you gotta take, don't worry about the "what ifs" take it day by day and hope for the best, and just be happy.

I feel the same way and I need to talk to someone....please PM me. Thank you.

I feel the same way too :(

Are you ok now? Were you able to transfer?

I definitely agree. Everybody always said college was this amazing experience, and by the end of senior year of HS I was ready to leave. I love my parents and I had a lot of friends in high school but I was ready to reinvent myself. I didn't realize that the support of my friends and family was what gave me a lot of my self confidence. To make matters worse, I was assigned to a single dorm in college! I didn't have a roommate at all! I HATED my freshman year of college. The people were nice and the college was great, but I really just felt so alone. I cried all the time. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. I'm not exaggerating in the slightest when I say it was literally the worst time of my entire life. I was so sad and sluggish all the time.
By the second half of the year I had made a couple of friends but I wasn't close with any of them - I might be making a bit of an assumption here but I don't think it was because I was an unpleasant person or anything because I had plenty of great friends in high school! Things definitely improved as time went on but I only really felt better when I came home for the summer. I still have no idea what happened. I only knew one other person with this problem and she had a good reason for it - I didn't. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do when I go back but I'm hoping it will be better because I have roommates this year. Either way, I'm glad (in a way) that other people know what I'm talking about. I don't get how everybody adjusts so quickly, it was a very jarring and abrupt change.

I completely feel the same way! When I first came to school I loved it. Everything was new and exciting. I had to leave my boyfriend, so that was sad but I was excited for college too. I had friends from my old high school that went to my new college (3 hours from our old town), so I thought it was good. I had a very close friend here too, and we hangout all the time even though we weren't rooming together. I even had my sorority too, so I was happy. In September my friends roommate moved out, so I moved into her room. It was fun for a while, because then my boyfriend could come and stay on the weekends. When he didn't come I would go out Thursday, Friday and Saturday night. But after while, I realized my boyfriend probably didn't like that so I stopped. My roommate started to change too. She always blew me off to hangout with her other close friend, and I always felt second wheel with them. My dorm was really far away from the dining hall and workout place so I had to walk there in the cold a lot since I don't have my car here. In November, I decided I no longer wanted to go to college here, and started looking into schools closer to home. I just got back from Christmas break and I felt so alone that first day. I do have friends here, but I'm not super close with all of them. I miss my boyfriend so much, and I've never felt so sad as I did the day I came back to school. I'm seriously so excited for the end of the school year. I hope these 4 months go by fast. If anyone else is in a similar situation, tell me because I hate feeling alone.

i know how you feel,i feel the same way too,the only difference between us is that i didn't leave my family,& my college is 10 minutes away from where i live,but with that,i've never felt so alone my entire life.i first got accepted into the college i never wanted to go to,& i'm angry about it!i worked my *** off in High School so i can go to a better university,& this is what i get??i regret all those nights of stressing,crying & studying,my college is refuge for people with crappy grades,plus people kind of look down upon you both personally & professionally if you tell them you go to this college,even my own friends!or they just stopped bothering to call or text,i don't know anyone,i've made friends,but i still hate it there!getting up in the morning & attending lectures for me is both physically & emotionally draining,not to mention they have weird *** rules & regulations!i feel so miserable i lost my appetite because of it,i've never felt so inferior in my life than the past 4 weeks,my older sister goes to the college i wanted to go to,so it makes it worse.

Hey there, for one thing, don't be envious of your sister, or anyone else for that matter. And I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. One thing that really hindered my experience my first year, and a few years after that, was I had depression. Obviously, I am no doctor, but maybe talking to someone would be helpful for you. It helped me. There is no reason to stick with something that is making you that mentally/physically ill. And you sound a lot like my brother. He was valedictorian of our senior year (we're twins) and when he made it into college, he was so stressed that he regretted the hard work he put into schooling. Don't regret that. You're hard work in high school is really a great accomplishment! Along with possibly talking to someone, have you thought about taking a semester off? You seem extremely stressed, so that may be helpful. Just to give you time to get your head together and figure out really what you want to do. I'm sorry if this seems like such a generic response, but I really hoped I helped somewhat. Whatever you do, make sure you chose something that is the best for you at this moment. Don't think about the future, or what could be. Just think about what will help you now.

i was diagnosed with depression in spring,i'm on medication,i think i'd be less composed if i wasn't on them,they make you a bit level headed,
as for talking to people,i'm not an open person,i don't like discussing my feelings or my problems,that's why i came here,
it's because i can stay perfectly anonymous & blurt out whatever i'm feeling without anyone knowing who i am,
& if there's one thing that'll make me seem more inferior to others,is whining about it.
i don't think of it as an accomplishment if it didn't lead to anything,it was a stupid mistake & a waste of my valuable time & well being.
i don't want to take a term off because the sooner i finish the sooner i'll get out of here,besides i finish freshman year in one term,since i took all the hours from the second term & put them with the first term,it's only four subjects,since i dropped english,so instead of taking a bachelor's in four years,i'll finish in 3 1/2 years,& i can work till i get my degree then get my masters,unless i switch majors ofcourse,then i'll finish in 4 years like everyone else.the stress is more of the emotional burden i'm feeling,but not the workload,the college is pretty easy.i feel bad for whining,i mean there are people who have it worse out there.

I know this post is super old but I feel the EXACT same way. This may sound super pathetic, but it's been two weeks since I have started, and I ALREADY hate it. I hate where I am, where I live, and how far I am from home. I'm from Calgary and just moved to Kelowna about a month ago. I hate it here. I feel extremely lonely and helpless. I have made friends, but not the kind where I would hang out with them outside of class. They all seem to enjoy the school and know what they are doing. I just don't think I'm cut out for what I want to do anymore. I find myself zoning out in class, and just not taking in any information. I feel so stupid. It's been two weeks, and I have already have missing assignments. I don't want to do this anymore, but I have to. My mom has put so much effort into getting me here. She also spent large amounts of money to get me into this school. I feel so guilty just writing this. I don't want all her effort to go to waste, but I also don't want to end up wasting 2 years of my life living in misery. I feel stupid.

I am currently in your shoes i'm 6 weeks in to my freshman year and it feels like this hell will never end but seeing that you posted this 5 years ago gives me hope. I wanna transfer home after the semester ends but first I wanna know.
1. Did you regret the decision at all to leave?
2. Where are you now and do you ever really look back on your freshman year or does it impact you to this day?
3. I feel we are similar people so did transferring home make you happier?
4. How did your new college compare to the old?

I have not been on this site in so long, so I am so sorry for this late reply.

1. I am actually glad I finished out the whole year at my college instead of transferring mid year. It made me feel accomplished, even though I transfered at the end of the year. I don't really regret the decision. Sometimes I think about "what if" I didn't leave, but it doesn't really make me feel regretful.

2. My freshman year doesn't really impact me. It feels like it was so long ago to be honest!

3. It did make me happier. I felt more comfortable with my classes and my school work. It seems weird, but being away from home REALLY stressed me out, so I got extremely anxious about my school work. Being at home made me relax and not stress out as much.

4. My new college is right in the middle of a city. I commute to it, but it's nice to be where things are happening. The college at was at during my freshman year was in the middle of nowhere, literally. You had to drive 30 minutes to get to an actual town or city.

Again, so sorry for the late reply, but I hope this helped! It really does get better. I had some personal issues that didn't help the experience very much, but I have somewhat overcome them in the last few years, so things have been better. The last thing I can really say is do what you feel is best for you at this moment. If you think transferring would really help you, then do it. If it helps you out, then there is no reason for regret. Good luck!

Hey, I am going through the same struggles you did. I talked to my father about transferring colleges if I still do not like it here next semester but he was very against it and basically implied that he would cut me off.

But, I want to be happy here and closer to my family. I understand that at a certain point, I will have to become my own person and grow but the college I am in is exactly like the college you were in.

I just don't know what to do. I keep saying to myself take it one day at a time and you will get there. I want to just graduate already and leave the place so I can go home and find a job and work like that...

I am giving myself time to decide but the possible ramifications of transferring towards the relationship I have with my family is too great. I don't know what to do.

I have a similar story. I go to a college about 3 hours away from home. I am almost midway through my first semester and I just feel lonely. At first I didn't mind. I liked the independence and being away from home. And then as time went on I just realized how much I miss home. I miss having my car, I miss my parents, I miss my pets, and I miss my friends. I don't really have any friends here. There's a few people I talk to in some of my classes and a couple people I sometimes hang out with but I still am alone the majority of the time. I eat alone, I go to classes alone, I study alone, I work out alone, and do everything alone. I have a job but it's only a few hours a week. I tried joining a couple of clubs but nothing has really stuck. My roommate is okay. We have never hung out or anything outside of our room. We just have opposite personalities. She is really extroverted and outgoing and I'm introverted and shy. She is more into partying and stuff which I've realized I don't really care about. It's weird because I actually was looking most forward to that in college. I guess because I never partied in high school I figured I would come out of my shell in college. I did experiment a little bit but I am way too paranoid about it so I don't do anything anymore. Friday and Saturday nights are the loneliest for me. I usually just stay in my dorm and watch tv or Netflix while everyone else goes out and gets drunk. I haven't told my parents about any of this. They think I'm doing well. I am thinking of transferring to a community college next semester and moving back home. I can get another job and save up for another university and just think about what I want to do with my life. The scariest part will be telling my parents. I'm worried they're just going to try to tell me to stick it out. I just don't want to be here anymore. I think I'll just slink into an even deeper depression if I stay. I wasn't really happy when I moved out but I'm even less happy now. I think moving back home will help me get my life in order and think about what I want in life.

Friday and Saturday nights were literally the worst. My first semester at college was so surreal because I was literally DREADING the weekends. I was lonely during the weekdays but at least I was busy and got to talk to people. When I was in high school the weekends went by so fast, but when you have nothing to do, 2 1/2 days seems like an eternity. It got better during the second semester but I was so sluggish and sad, like all the time.

I'm feeling the same way. I'm a freshman at a christian school. I had the perfect plan of going to an amazing school in NYC but got scared and ran away to a christian school. I had this idea that I wanted diversity and a new life and then I came here to one of the most judgmental places on earth. I hate everyone I've met and my classes because I feel like I'm wasting my time in Bible classes when I should be taking math and english for my business degree. It's been a month and my roommate is sweet but so judgmental I want to claw my eyes out. I hate it here. I've lost 10 lbs and never want to get out of bed. If I don't get out of here I don't know what I'll do. I've already filled out the common app and plan on applying to new schools for either the spring or fall 2015 semester but I'm afraid my parents won't let me go because I've already kind of but not technically transfered/changed my plans for college before. My mom is so happy I'm in a christian environment but it really is just awful. Someone please help me.

I'm at a Christian university too! I hate it here. Everyone is so judgmental. I'm ready to kill myself if I can't get out of here, and my family doesn't understand.

I agree with so many people on here and I'm so relieved to hear that I am not the only one feeling this way. I am a sophomore this year and last year as a freshman I was pretty happy in the beginning only a bit homesick (I didn't drink or smoke or party in high school so the fact that everyone was doing it at college scared me and made me feel left out but some of my friends didn't drink so I would usually deal with it) but then the first time I went home I cried so much and I begged my mom to let me stay home! Then I went back to school and had to go back home the next week for my sisters wedding and again I cried so much! But then I was so depressed after I came back to school I tried to just focus on my work but I was still so anxious and depressed (I suffer from anxiety and depression and saw someone right before college but I didn't think I would need anyone at school). So when I made plans to go home early for Thanksgiving I arranged it so that I could take my finals at home so I could get credit for my classes. Then second semester I took classes at the community college near where I live. I was happier but at the same time I was sad that I left my friends and I felt kind of bad. I kept in touch with my friends at college and I decided to even go back for my sophomore year. So now I came back to the same school I left with better hopes that I would be able to do it; I got a single in a suite, brought my car with me, and made an arrangements to start seeing someone. Even with all this help I still am sad and depressed and I've cried to my mom so many times to let me go home. My parents are very supportive of whatever I want to do. They are the best parents but I still feel that if I leave school I would be letting myself, my family, my friends from home and school, and basically everyone down. Sometimes I will have such an urge to leave and I'll be like this is what I have to do but then the next I think maybe I can still it out. At this point I just don't want to stick it out if I could just finish my classes from home I would because the sad part is I do enjoy my classes this semester but at the same time I'm finding it hard to do work because I feel distracted by thoughts of either I won't be here much longer because I'm leaving or if I don't do well maybe my parents will force me to come home. I have a lot of anxiety about people being sick around me and living around so many people in such closeness and also hanging out with people all the time makes me really anxious when people start getting sick which has already happened. Also this semester I've gone to some parties with my friends but they're just not something I enjoy. I usually find myself very depressed with the thought of the weekends because weekends here are so boring and lonely. Nothing is open before 10 or 11 on my campus and all people want to do is eat, do laundry, maybe do some work, and then get ready to go out again. I just being at home on the weekends with my family because the weekends were times for doing things. I know I keep complaining but one thing that has really gotten worse at my school is the food! The food was bad to begin with last year but this semester dining places close earlier and fewer options. They are planning on opening a new dining hall but the food is bad anywhere on campus and people here have complained so much about feeling sick or getting from the food here. I've only been here two weeks and I have yet to have a day where I have not felt ill or had stomach pains after eating the food. I just want to go home and be with my family. My parents say they will support whatever decision I make. Like many people on here I am trying to decide of whether to leave now only two weeks into the semester or try and stick it out. I am most afraid right now of the winter and it getting cold because I get depressed in the winter and people will also be getting sick which would only worsen the situation. ANY advice/guidance would be helpful!
Good luck to everyone on here.
And no matter what everything will workout in the end, we are all young and college is only a very short period in our life. Even if we it takes us a bit longer to finish or figure out what we need to do in order to be successful we will find success!! I have lots of hope for everyone here!


Could you sign this petition: change.org/petitions/board-of-education-and-all-educational-facilities-and-municipalities-reform-education-so-that-it-s-fair-for-all-and-not-for-the-elite-few-or-the-dull-many-no-child-left-behind

I know exactly how you are feeling right now, so much that I can even relate to it. I'm not living in the states right now because I decided to move back to Colombia where my parents are from and enroll in med school down here which is pretty great academically but personally it is a horrible experience. first of all I miss the US a lot, second of all people down here at my college are jealous, cheaters, they are not serious people who don't really make any single effort in studying or something like that, they just pass through every single test cheating; girls suck on the professors, I feel like if I have gotten back into high school again. which has completely killed my motivation and my wishes to go forward with my career even in the point that I've wanted to drop out several times.
its very hard indeed when you really work hard for something and fail at it and see the people in your surrounding not doing anything at all and pass with high grades. it is unbelievable and it is ridiculous but I've got to continue otherwise it would be a big disappointment to my parents since they have invested a lot of money into this cursed thing for I must continue quietly and by the way I'm a third year student.
Greetings from Colombia (great place to visit)

i felt the same way you did! i went to a school i knew i didnt like my freshman year because my parents kind of forced me into staying close to home. my school isnt too far from home, and if i really wanted to i could commute, but it isnt practical since i have weekend classes as well this semester. i gave this school so many chances but i hate it, and im not the only one. it seems everyone i talk to didnt want to go here or wants to transfer, and since its a mostly commuter school and people live nearby everyone goes home on the weekends. its just not at all the college life i thought id have. the parties are dumb and off campus and involve sketchy rides, and i have a boyfriend so going out and getting wasted isnt something i want to do. i just miss being home and after winter break i just wanted to get this semester over with so i can transfer to another school. i know its only like 6 weeks til i go back, but it seems like forever. i think the only thing that really makes me feel better and looking at schools i can transfer to, and how much better that experience will hopefully be.

I'm in the same boat as you; I thought I was going to (and I was kind of supposed to) love college but I just hate it here so much. I hate the people here and there's nothing to do ever. I thought it had something to do with me not being adjusted but after a few months, I realized I just didn't like the school. However, that was too late to apply to other colleges for the spring semester so I'm stuck here for another few months. I pray every day that they go by fast because I'm so miserable and lonely here all the time :(

I'm in the same boat. It isn't too late to switch for spring though, but my parents won't let me.

What did you end up doing? I am in the same boat as you were. I want to switch if I still feel like this next semester to a college in the middle of a city which is cheaper.

Hi, well am I sure happy, I'm not alone! I have just began my second semester of college, and it really sucks. My first semester, I made a few friends, but we never hung outside of class. They're in to partying and drinking. As for my roommate, we're friends. We talk a lot, but we're total opposites. Family and school are my top priorities, and it seems like hers are partying and going out. I'm a little shy, so it is difficult meeting people. Luckily, I have people I talk to in class, but it still makes me sad that we all don't hang out. I'll text them all saying we should do something, guess I'm not "cool" enough cause I don't go to bars or clubs. Why is it so hard to make friends? I don't mean to come off snobby, but I believe I'm a nice, friendly person. Seems like everyone at the college I'm at wants to party all the time. I was just never in to that. In high school I worked a lot, I never hung out with my friends that much. I thought, in college, things will change. I'll meet lots of new people, make a lot of friends and have a great time. After all, apparently college is "the best years of your life". I have thought about transferring to the community college back home, but I don't want to give up yet. I'm also going to go to school in the summer, and will be taking an extra 2 classes. Partially because I'd like to graduate as soon as possible, but also because it'll be 2 more opportunities to meet people. Sounds corny I know. Anyways, I've done enough rambling on.

Hi everyone. I just slent the last 2 hours basically reading through this thread hoping to find the "right" answer. I havn't decided what to do yet but i do know that there is no "right" answer. Do whatever makes you happy. Even if you are unsure of how it will turn out...everything happens for a reason and if it is bad then you learn from it and make it a positive thing. If its good then well thats great. Point is no matter what happens with any decision you guys make is that it is not the end of the world and it will only help you in someway. Dont let it hinder you and dont regret anything. College is only a short period of your very long lives. If u dont feel happy then thats that. Maybe u feel u can stick out the semester but you dont have to. The great part about life and bei g an adult is you can make decisions and people have to deal with it. I just started my second semester at the university of arizona and i can honestlysay my first semester sucked. The school itself isnt bad. Infact i like school and taking classes but i had roommate issues and moved here after having 2 friends pass away as well as never having been away from home before. I was very depressed and miserable and never seeked help because i never feel like i have it "that" bad. But i should have talked to someone. I ended up dropping two classes and clubs because i wasnt doing well. I had 9 credits and a not fantastic gpa. I gave in and bought a ticket home for thanksgiving back to philly and loved being home.. for a week... the . Came back for two weeks and seriously it felt so long.. i moved into an apartment right before thanksgiving since i knew i was a more private own room own bathroom kinda person and that another roommate probably wouldnt help...so it was fine at the apartment those last two weeks...but felt very long and i was very homesick..going home for xmas was amazing. I loved being able to drive and see my little sister and grandma and mom and dad etc. The little things that i always loved were still just as great and all i really care about....break came and went all too fast and i got back to arizona 2 days ago and have been crying ever since. I cried on the plane...and in my first classes. I even had the guts to tell my mom how terrible i was feeling and that i want to go home. I felt bad before but feel even worse now. My parents suggested me finishing the year already knowing i wanted to transfer to be closer to home and maybe commute but i dont think i can handle 4 more months. My mom keeps saying how short it is and how maybe she can see me on spring recess. But im just not so sure and im already feeling behind because im upset. I cant predict how ill feel later to stick it out and risk my grades and sanity..or to take online classes here to at least remain enrolled but be able to go home and look into different schools. I know family makes me happy most of all so it seems like i should go back. But this part of me..logical part..says grow a pair and tough it out.."maybe" it will get better or that its all in my mind. I cant honestly say what i think would happen in either case but i have to decide in the next couple days and im overwhelmed. My parents are 100% supportive and i know that whatever i choose i will overcome the diffulties and it will be "okay". So i just have to make a choice. And i dont know how to. Im also slightly afraid that ill go home and be like crap bad choice or that ill stay and be like oh man ita getting worse and now its too late. This campus is beautiful too but across the country and was sort of an impulsive decision on my part (my brother went to school far away too and thrived)...but hes very different then me too...so i cant take my ow. Advice basically to choose and i want the answer to smack me in the face...sigh...

That's EXACTLY how I'm feeling right now! I need to decide, USF or UH? I have 5 days and this is completely killing me!

What did you end up deciding? I'm doing the same thing now...

I started at Oral Roberts University straight out of high school. At first I was extremely homesick and very anti social. This new world seemed strange and scary. Then after my first semester I seemed to like it more and more. Then sophomore year rolled around and I began to hate it more and more. I've never really had 'friends' here, just acquaintences. I decided that i want to change majors, but the major i want isn't offered at this school. So i want to g2 this school in TN, but i can't just jump into it. My parents want me to finish the spring semester @ oru and then transfer to O'More in TN in the fall. I've had it with ORU. I'm done. I've tried to make friends. I've tried to get connected. I feel like i've tried to make the best of it all. Now, i just want to quit. I can't transfer to that school now. (i tried to persuade my parents) Now i have to stay at ORU till May 2014. It doent look that far away...but from my standpoint it looks lightyears away. I'm not motovated to make friends anymore, b/c i know i'll be leaving. i'm just tired of trying. All of my friends seem like they're having the time of their lives. And i'm here being miserable. I'm really jealous at how much fun they're having. I'm friendly, and talk to people. But it's still just super hard to make friends. People are so closed off these days. I'm trying to be happy at ORU till May, but I'm not sure exactly how that's going to happen.

I feel the same way. I've joined one of the best colleges in the UK, so it clearly is me and not them, as well as everyone else getting along fine. I'll get to my main point in a second, but firstly I'll say I feel completely disengaged, I have no friends so I spend my hours off LITERALLY walking around in circles. Im failing most of my stuff, and I dont feel like an academic. Most of all though, its making my feel really depressed, as in Im trapped, that this is my life for 2 years. I want to go out, maybe join the army or start my own business. But my parents are somewhat against that. Im at the point where I feel like if I have to go through this I'll seriously consider suicide.

I feel the same way. Im currently at a university where o don't speak the language and let me tell you I HATE IT. I feel so isolated and alone. I have no friends and just like everyone else says I see all of my friends from back home having these amazing college experiences. I'm depressed and I've come to the point where I've realized I don't even like the career I'm doing but I have no clue how I'm ever gonna tell my parents because this is all they've ever wanted for me. But I don't know what I want. Just that its not this.

I also feel very very lonely in my university. It's quite sad because I thought everything would be different and I would be able to make friends, but I haven't at all. I feel like I don't belong, I spend most of my time alone, and it hurts so much. I would never quit, however. God and my family are my pillars of strength and nothing can bring me down, not even the loneliness I experience here everyday.

What's funny is I feel the same exact way, and I'm a sophomore. I just really miss home. All of the time.

Wow. i never knew that this many people felt exactly the same as me. Coming from a small high school in nc I was really looking forward to going to college. Everyone from my small town talks about getting out of there and hating it so much because there is nothing to do but i just cant wait to go back. just because it was the next step in my life. I din't get into any of my top choice schools so my next choice was a big state school that my sister already attends and loves. As the time over the summer went by I had the opportunity to go to a super small private school about 45 minutes away from home instead where I could play any sport I wanted. (i played four sports in high school) It was an all girls school so when i told people about it they would make jokes about me going there and in the end I decided to stick with the state school which is about an hour and a half away. I was really excited to move in simply because i got to decorate my room so i was pretty excited to do that. The only thing was i got here and moved in and set up all my decorations and everything and then i was like what do i do now? all my roommates were a year older than me and had previously roomed together and already made all their friends. They didnt exclude me or anything and we became friends but they all drank and smoked and who knows what on the weekends. I dont do any of that at all and dont really like it so for the first couple weekends i was at school i chose to stay in. I used to love the weekends becasue it was a break from a huge courseload and sports all week but now i dread them becasue i dont know what to do with myself. i miss being home whcih is weird because im used to traveling for months out of the summer. when i go home and see my friends its okay for like one or two who never left but most of my friends are having a blast at their schools and dont even understand where im coming from when i say that i hate it. Plus i went home for my schools homecoming when several of my high school friends were home as well. It was great geting to see them for the first time in months but at the same time depressing because i know in the long run we probably wont stay friends. My parents will support me to do whatever i want to do but my original plan was to transfer into my top school as a second year anyway and now i want to transfer for second semester instead. The only problem is at the new school they dont really have a high transfer population and even smaller percent in the middle of the year. the chances of me getting in with just one semester are super slim. on top of that i have no major or not an idea of a major so i dont know what to do. zi cant decide if its that i hate dorm life, just this college, or what becasue i dont want to transfer somewhere else and feel the exact same way.
I prayed about this for a while but i just cant seem to find answers.

I am a second year student at a Big 10 University. I have had problems meeting people since I first got here having not been placed in a regular freshman dorm and because of some nasty rumors I was totally shut out of the greek system. I was really in the rocks academically my first semester because I was so depressed and ended up having to attend community college for one semester. I thought that I would go into my second year with a fresh take on things, but at this point it feels as though nothing has changed. All of my other friends are having amazing college experiences but I se to be the only one struggling. The hardest part is everyone I know is obsessed with this school, but I feel absolutely miserable. My parents want me to transfer, but I wouldn't even know where to go and I don't know that it would make a difference. I am usually a cool, attractive, outgoing person but it feels like no one here really likes me.

Hey, are you better off now?

I am feeling the same way, this is my first night at college, and I know I need to give it a chance. But I just miss my family so much and I don't feel like I am connecting to anyone. My roommate is nice but I don't know if we will be good friends. It's just very hard being away from the parents, because I am very close to them. Kids talk about how excited they are to get away from home, and I'm over here dreading leaving home. I wish I would have chosen to go to the local community college and have done night classes.

Just started my third semester of college. Probably due to the fact that i have no room mates this semester, i feel very lonely and depressed. to add to the list i have anxiety problems and im very homesick at the moment. i miss my family especially my mom. My family suggested that i should transfer back home for this semester but i insisted of coming back to my current college for one more sem. How wrong i was!!!! i wish i could have done it all over again and chose to stay home. 2 and1/2 months to go before i get to go home for fall recess. im an engineering major, and having to deal with symptoms of anxiety and homesickness while dealing with all those stressful work is not fun. If my symptoms doesn't get any better in a week, i will withdraw from school. Good luck to everyone out there who sahres the same experience as me. lets hope we all will feel better soon.

i believe we shall never corner ourselves with a single decision. if you can choose to lead a path that can bring you joy, lead it no matter how absurd it may seem

I wish my family would be open for me transferring if I do not feel happy here....

I totally get where you're coming from! I moved in a couple weeks ago and I'm miserable here! I've introduced myself to people but I just havent felt a connection with any of them! My roommate is really nice, but I don't see us as being best friends. I don't like to party or drink or do drugs, and that's all that the college kids here seem to want to do! I've went to welcome events to try and make friends, but no luck. My parents said to give it one more week or so, and that if I'm still unhappy then I can transfer to the 4 year college in my hometown and just commute! I hate to leave this school because it is a really good school that is hard to get in to, but I would rather be at a less prestegious school where I'm happy than at a really good school where I'm miserable! I'm so glad to see that I'm not the only one who is not having the time of their life their freshman semester!

Hi, i felt the sae my first year. People are shallow especially first years. But then you meet great friends. Keep your head up.

I feel the exact same way about my college. I went into freshman year feeling hopeful that I would meet some people like me but my university is just full of people who just like to drink and rip on other people. I am have some social anxiety issues so it is hard for me to make friends to begin with, and I miss home. Sometimes I just feel so alone and it seems like everyone else is having a great time at college. It's nice to hear that I am not the only one.

This honestly made my night so much better. There's only 6 more weeks of school left but I don't think I can make it. I've never really liked my college but I've learned to deal with it and I've made a few friends on the way. But lately all the friends I did have are being complete ******** and have stopped inviting me anywhere and have been acting really weird around me like I'm an outsider. I've just been so lonely and depressed lately. It feels like everyone has their friend groups and are having a great time while I'm alone in my room. I'm transferring next year and I just can't wait.

You are not the only one at ALL! I am actually in a community college near home and it SUCKS here...it seems like all of the kids are immature...I seriously feel like I'm in high school again trying to hear the instructor talk over all the bratty kids that can't seem to learn the concept of shut up and listen...I hate to say it but community college sucks too...I don't think there is an escape except graduation day.....

Im really glad I found this, i've been reading through a lot and i feel really the same.
i just moved back today for spring semester and i am in the process of applying to transfer schools. even though i know there is light at the end of the tunnel, and that my parents support me (which i know is very lucky), its still hard to think about how im going to deal with the day to day for this semester.
I liked all my classes last semester and i hung out with this one girl who was just automatically my best friend, but she already transfered to a community college for this semester. there are people who are friendly to me but its so cliquey and i find myself having to choose between doing things by myself or hanging out with "the group" which i have really superficial relationships with.
Ive already cried so much over this, at the airport in my room by myself. I just moved in with a new roommate for this semester and I don't know how its going to work I mean I feel like crying all the time already.. What am I supposed to say to her and how am I supposed to vent emotionally when I need to.
I hope once classes start I can just really focus on schoolwork and make new friends in class.
As older already transfered students, how did you manage the last semester? im just feeling so overwhelmed. at least i get to home for spring break. already started a countdown on my phone-- 60 days to go

This article and everyone's responses to it have made me feel so much better because I am in a similar situation. People have told me that there are others in college who hate their college experience but it's nice to see real proof of it that shows I;m not the only one feeling this way. <br />
I am a freshman going into the second semester at a college I hate. I went to a college where I knew nobody because they had a strong physical therapy program. I thought I would be brave and try a new place and meet many new people but now that I am there, I hate it. I have tried many things to get involved. I go out, I joined various organizations, I am in a Greek house. But I hate the people there. They have made me fee like crap. They make me feel awkward in social events. I thought trying a new place would be fun because in high school when new people came to class, they fit in right away and everyone was welcoming ( I was in a huge high school too). But the people aren't very accepting of people from out of state it seems, they all stick to people who live in their state. And over half the time people just seem fake when I talk to them. I tried to tell my parents I hate it but they basically tell me to suck it up and have a positive attitude. I have tried but now I am stuck there for the next semester. I don't know how I am going to handle this next semester. Any advice would be nice. All I want is a college experience I enjoy. I want to look back and be glad I chose that college and had the time of my life.

Hi, I'm a freshman in a european university and all I can say is.. fuckk that it is an excellent university, it's full of poop and all that.. I'm only depressed, I got to know some people (I'm usually veryyy shy) but I don't consider them near friendly.. they all think just because they can write scientific summaries excellently, they are better -.- I don't even know what I want to do with and in my life. I thought I always knew what I wanted but after being there where I wanted to be to reach my goal.. my mind changed, just that. I hate the feeling that everyone around me from my old high school do very well while I, myself cannot concentrate, cannot learn, cannot do a thing rn. Just fail. It's so hard to overcome that feeling and I seem to never be able to get through it.. the only thing that literally keeps me alive is the fact tht I want to show all those people tht I can do it. I can prove to them and myself that I can kick the *** of my own career and simultaneously have fun in what I'm doing. the only prob is.. I just don't know what I want... and that's so ****** annoying... keep your chin up everybody. You're not alone.

I'm from Houston, and I attend a top-tier college in the midwest currently and I also can't stand it here! It was my top choice school, so I EDed, but now I feel that was one of the worst decisions I made, even though all of my family and friends supported me getting in, and initially I felt pride from being able to accomplish that goal. Now that I am here though, I feel like the atmosphere is not right for me. I hear from all my friends who went to our state school, and they are having so much fun where there is such a diverse range of people and it is so much more lively and laid back. This place feels like a desert compared to our state school and it's so cold omg why did I move out of state. I feel like I am letting my family down as they expect me to succeed here, but I'm just not happy. I have to suck it up for the next four years though because transferring is not an option.

I decided to make a post because I kept coming back to this website, and reading all the replies made me feel better. :)

Hey ohshoots! I'm in the exact same position. I'm from Houston too, and I go to a top tier University. I hate it so much. I had no idea what I was in for socially, and I would have never imagined that it would affect me so much. Houston is so laid back and friendly. My college is full of privileged snobs. I feel so isolated and introverted here. Back home I was fun, extroverted, and ALWAYS happy (even though I had a lot to deal with during high school). I made awesome grades in high school, scored on the SAT (over 2200), and graduated at the top of my class. College is so awful that I keep having to argue with myself to go to class because I hate being around my peers.

Wow that's EXACTLY my story Ayanex. I'm from a rather rural part of upstate New York and everyone was so nice there. I always loved meeting and hanging out with people, and even though I had more work on my plate then, I was still always happy and never let anything bring me down. I had awesome grades, an SAT score over 2200, and was at the top of my class as well. I was so excited to be going to a top notch University, and as soon as I got there, I started going around trying to make friends. I could put up with everyone at first, but yeah they're all such privileged snobs, and after a few semesters, they all just made me sick. When I'm home I feel better, but at school I feel so introverted. I have to drag myself to class, and I've gotten to the point that I just try to avoid meeting people all together. I really want to try to turn things around next semester, so my plan is to quit my fraternity and the clubs I'm in now because I can't stand the people in any of them. Then I'm going to club hop until I find something I like. I figure there must be a group of decent people somewhere on campus. They're certainly not in the "resume builder" clubs I'm in now though. Might by worth a try for you too.

Where is everyone from? It can help all of us out if we know which areas/how to get over our problems with our college experiences

I feel the same way. My college is a big private college in long branch, NJ and I just cant stand it. I literally try and try to make friends but i was never the type to do so. In my classes, i am barely passing with C's despite being a good student in high school. Also, while im at school, i become very depressed and irritated. i told my parents that i want to transfer out and go to the community college by me but they basically screamed in my face about being a failure and i really dont know what to do anymore help

First and foremost thank you for posting your experience because it gives a lot of insight into what goes on in a lot of college students minds. I am currently a student going to a commuter school, at first I wanted to go away like of people to experience "the real college experience" which is to go away live in a dorm and being independent from your families and making life long friends. When I first got accepted to my college, I was really happy and looking forward to it because I got to stay close to home because I have a small family and in the long run, meeting new friends and building long lasting friendships and relationships. As of lately however, I am feeling emotions of sadness and loneliness because I don't have a connection with most of the students because of the cliques which I thought would be an afterthought after high school because college exposes you to meeting different types of people. Also, a good number of the students are really cold and some really being rude and I knew that going in that we have to deal with people who are the opposite of each other, however a lot of the people act like they are in high school as far as being immature along other things. On top of that I originally came in as a design major because I wanted to make ads and that type of thing, however the workload and pressure has made reconsider this as I am changing my major to Liberal Arts because of my love of writing as being a career. Plus, I want to take the two year degree and transfer to a school that fits my needs better as far as academics, meeting more diverse people and programs. It sometimes feels as though that I am alone and will forever be as I only trust my family who has seen more in the best of times and the worst of times and once they are gone I feel as though I will not have anybody to trust and they mean the world to me and sometimes feel that something is wrong with me when other people see past that. I feel emotional writing this and thank you once again for writing your story as everyone's stories are important

I'm so happy I found this; I'm in the same situation. I came to a military college hoping to get a contract in the Navy. Not only did I not get a contract, but the college was the exact opposite of my expectations. I expected to be surrounded by people who valued courage, honor, and integrity, but what I see now is a bunch of loud, drunk foulmouths who couldn't lead a squad of men if their life depended upon it (which it will once they deploy...shudder). I'm miserable here, I get yelled at all the time, my room gets torn apart, and I can't focus on my classes (not that academics are very important here anyway, unless you're an engineering major). Thank God I'm transferring to my state university at semester's end, where the academics are stronger, they have the programs I want, and I get to behave like a normal human being again!

i just hate my college. first i was in a college quite far from my home, i didn't like it there and then i changed my college, guess what i don't like it there either. i atleast made some friends in my first college but here i am all alone. i regret my decision and just wish i could go back there or go to a college where my high school friends are...............college sucks, engineering sucks, growing up sucks........................

growing up does indeed suck...

I need help. I hate where I am and I'm so depressed. I've been here for a month, and everyday it gets harder and harder. I'm miserable and I just keep getting more miserable. I have made no friends and I'm so incredibly lonely. It makes it harder because all my friends from high school are making friends and having a good time and I don't get why I'm the only one that is struggling.

I go to a small, private college in New Orleans and I'm from Boston. The people here are nice, but I haven't connected with anyone. I feel out of place and there's no one that click with. I miss Boston so much and I'm not a fan of the location of the college. To sum it up, I hate it here.

I'm a first semester freshman and I'm applying to transfer second semester to a college closer to home, my friends (who all attend school in Boston or near it), and my boyfriend who goes to Northeastern.

I'm depressed and I don't know what to do. I can't take another three months of being here. Does anyone else feel the same way? I need help.

Hey, I'm sorry you are so miserable. I understand how you feel :) You're taking the first step by applying to different colleges closer to home. That's good. You have something to look forward to now that you know you may be transferring in the next few months. Staying there the next few months will definitely be hard, but you know you have to do it. I know this is probably not what you want to hear AT ALL, but that's basically the only thing you can do right now. You can definitely make it these next few months. Just try to focus on doing homework and studying to get your mind off of it (I realize that is difficult also). Maybe also just try joining a club one day. Just go to a meeting. You might realize that you enjoy going there, even if it's just once a week. I know it seems like Christmas break is forever away, but it will come quickly enough. You can do it. And if you still have worries and anxiety, you can comment here as many times as you need :)

How did the whole transfer process go? I feel the exact same way and that\'s what I am worried about

Wow, I am overjoyed that I have found this. I'm in the same boat as almost all of you. I was accepted to a small private 4 year college where I thought that I'd be happy. Needless to say...it wasn't quite how I thought it'd turn out to be. I made several good friends and even participated in many on-campus activities. But I wasn't happy during all of freshman year. It was exciting and new and far away from home, but it just wasn't for me. I'm a sophmore now and I decided to come back to try another year. 2 weeks in and I have already submitted my transfer application to a college back near home. My parents don't agree with my transferring but they just can't seem to understand how unhappy I am at this college. I don't see it as giving up, or quitting. I see it as a fresh start. And I realized that this was my life, and not theirs. Everyone around me seems so skeptical of my decision, and on almost every website I click on, people are saying not to transfer, to stick it out where you are. But in the end, shouldn't your happiness come before all? I wish everyone good luck with their decisions, even though they may be difficult. Don't be afraid to follow your heart and intuition.

can all of you guys just come to my university and make each other feel better? :/

I'm so glad I found this because I feel the exact same way. I'm three weeks into my freshman year and I'm so miserable and homesick. I'm a major introvert and living in the dorms being surrounded by people all the time makes me feel claustrophobic and on edge. I thought I was on the right track by going to a school about three hours away but it really is way too far from home for me. I thought going to a major state school would mean there would be plenty of out of state students like me but it seems like everyone here has the option to go home for the weekends and it gets so quiet and depressing. Not to mention the fact that the main idea of fun around here is drinking which I am not into at all.<br />
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I'm just lucky because my parents are really supportive of the idea of me transferring next semester to a community college and moving back in with them. I just feel like I made this decision too early almost because now I've just given up completely on where I am now and it seems like it gets worse every day. I'm also really anxious about telling the friends I've made that I'm leaving, especially since I think one friend is hoping I would be her roommate in an apartment next year. It's gonna be a long three months. :(

Wow, this is almost EXACTLY how I feel. I go to a school that is about 2 and a half hours away from my home which was just not the right choice for me. I am such a huge homebody so I knew moving away would be rough, but definitely not this hard. Even though I am able to have fun with the friends that I have made here, I'm still incredibly depressed most of the time and I don't even want to finish out the semester. I keep trying to remind myself that it is still really early in the year and that things might get better so I should try to make the most of it, but like you, I feel like I thought about transferring too early and have stopped giving this school a chance. My parents are really supportive of whatever makes me happy, especially since they know that I suffer from severe depression, and they just want me to do what's right for me. However, I agree that telling the friends that I made here that I want to leave is going to be the hardest part. I'm scared of their judgment. You and I just both have to remember that if they judge or get mad for doing what is right for us then they were never our real friends to begin with. I'm not against drinking or going out but this school is just WAY too much party for me and I just can't keep up. I can't wait until the end of the semester.

This is exactly what I feel too. I finished my freshman year with a couple of friends but no one near as close as my friends from high school...I hate the campus, the social scene, and the major I'm in (an acting program that's very high-pressure). I feel like I should be so grateful to have gotten in here but I don't. My parents are making me stick it out a second year; if it still sucks at the end of this year, I'll transfer. But what if I transfer and my new school isn't good for me either? I'm so worried. <br />
Good luck to you all...

I'm going through the same thing. I'm also an acting major and its made me depressed so far. Everyone in the program is somewhat egocentric and flirty. I can't relate to anyone in the major because I have a learning disability, which makes me seem socially awkward to everyone there. I've tried to make conversations with people, but they don't go anywhere. I've even embarrassed myself a couple times. Some of them won't even talk to me because I'm socially awkward. They never invite me to their group parties and most of them don't even try to talk to me.

Luckily I'm changing majors next semester. Coming to this school, I thought I could meet some people who I could relate to, but it hasn't turned out as I hoped. I wish I could've gone to a school where there were more kids with LD's like Landmark College.

You are not alone. Even though this is several years later, I feel like I am in your shoes. I have been at college a week and I have never been this miserable. I am at school very far away from home (plane ride distance) and I am SO homesick. I miss my state, my town, my home, my parents, my sister, my friends....everything. I have talked to people here and they are nice but it is not the same. And, like you, because I am so sad and anxious all the time I have a hard time studying, and then I get stressed about not doing well and it makes it worse. I am planning on sticking it out for the semester and then transferring somewhere closer to home. I just hope I can make it until then. I also hope your situation improved and you are now doing well! Thank you for sharing your feelings and know that it at least made one person feel not so alone.

Is this still up?! I've been here for a week and started class today.. I have cried every night.. Its just so difficult.. I hate it here and want to transfer..

do what makes you happy

I read your story and it sounds so similar to mine. I too am miserable. I entered the school, unaware how it would affect me socially. I just through what everyone said was true: college is so much better than high school and it will be the time of your life. BS. I should have known that coming to a small private college would only mean less diversity people with the main intentions of just partying all night and joining the Greek life. Luckily it is close to home but I kind of feel that going home will just make the experience even more painful. I haven't gone home yet but I am kind of scared, that I will break down and never want to leave. <br />
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At the moment, all I want is someone even 30% like me so I can feel at ease. <br />
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I am glad I am not the only one experiencing this. It is still only the first few days for me and already I feel at a disadvantage on college. I really hope things will get better...but my greatest fear is things will not. I may find securely in the few friends I have made so far but I believe it will be a constant uphill battle. <br />
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I am probably going to end up transferring out of here if I don't find my niche within the next month or so. What really sucks is I consider myself to be a friendly approachable person and I am sure I will make friends but these people around me live in totally different worlds. I maybe pretty awkward at times but with people I have really clicked with, it is just a lot of fun.

i'm on this college where no one pushed me to pick this. i'm the one who pick this major. at first, i was like "okay!i will be serious at this" but month and month,i can't concentrate.and finally i realized,i really want to be on music major than this.I'm 16 years old at that time and i finished my IGCSE test. the problem is,i quit that college at the "almost-first-year". And now, counting days, my parents will send me back to that college. They asked me whether i'm ready or not to go to that college. in fact,i'm not.all that i want is music.but,what can i do?they don't know if i'm interested with music more than this major. Another problem is,i'm a shy person.and i think all the people hate me. i don't care with my previous friends who continue that college. i'm afraid with all the people in my college. all the teachers..even people who work in cafe. I'm afraid with them. I'm 17 years old now, and i'm quite 'fragile'. i cry easily. i can't handle myself.even though now i always think aabout "relax.keep calm.you need 3 years here,and then you can go wherever you want...only 3 years here" but then,those feelings always come. where everyone hate you and you feel like a dumb-person there. But what should i do?????should i tell my parents that "OH MOM/DAD!i really can't stand this!!all that i really want is music,not fashion.." yeah,i'm in a fashion major. And all those people in my college are really...perfectionist? fashionista? and look how i look???shirt + jeans?everyone are going to kill me if they see me coming back to that stupid college :((((( i know,i'm immature.counting days guys..1 week until i get back to that college. what should i do??any help???? i don't want to go back for sure :(((

I haven't even started college yet but I cry every single day because I know I won't have any friends. My college is a real party school even though it is a "dry" campus. I'm a virgin who wants to stay that way to boot. I have zero chance of having a social life. Everyone is going to hate me. I don't want to go. I feel for you all.

Word for word this is exactly how I feel! I am so happy (well not happy but you know) that other people are having the same struggle! My first year at my University was hell. I missed my family and old friends, and the ones that went to the same college as me moved on and I was jealous that I wasn't having as much fun as them. I joined a sorority but it ended up being hell- being left out and talked about by girls, one of them being my stuck up roommate from hell! I spent much of my time studying, sleeping, or driving in my car just to get away. I am moving back up for my second year on July 31st.. I would love to have people to talk to as I try to make this whole thing work... If I don't like it by Christmas I will probably transfer, which I am very hesitant about!

It's been two years of hell. No one here takes school seriously. I have no friends, because i dont smoke weed and drink non-stop. I want to get out of here. I hate my body, I hate my job, I hate the people here. I have so much hatred and sadness, but most of the hatred it towards myself. I really want to hurt myself. I want to kill myself sometimes. I think about ways to do it and I know I need help but I don't know what to do to get the help I need. I just want to sleep and never wake up back to this torture. I wish I had friends. Even all of my friends back home hate me now and make fun of me when I see them. I'm 20 years old. My life shouldn't be so lonely and sad. But it is. and I wanted to get a cat to keep me company but my apartment complex said no. Ugh. I really want to hurt myslef, but I don't know how....<br />
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College is destructive.

Like everyone else, I'm glad to know I'm not alone u.u I've been in college for almost three months, and every time it gets harder and harder. I live six hours away from home, I go whenever I can and my parents come down here too, but it always just makes it harder when they leave. Problem is I cant just leave, there's no major like the one I'm doing here in my town, and my apartment contract is for another two years, with a fine if I decide to leave early :'( My long term plan is just to stick it out and for a couple of years, then get a job as soon as I can that's in my hometown! But I cry like twice a week over how much I miss my folks :( Sundays like these are the worst, and Fridays too, after the worst class.<br />
BUT what Im afraid of the most is how much I may change in these years, how I may become someone strong, who doesnt feel attached to her parents anymore; so beaten by stress and stuff that I lose my innocence. I'm a writer, but my muse doesnt show up when I'm not feeling protected, like when my parents are here. Whats keeping me here is my parents telling me to be strong, and the fact that I'll have to move out of my parent's house eventually, right?. Sorry if I left any typos behind, keyboard's new and confusing; also for the rant, someone invited me to vent and I took it seriously.

I am a freshman and I feel the same way as you all. I was never too excited to move away to college in the first place, but I wanted my family to see that I can do it and I wanted them to be proud of me. Now I realize that I should've gone to a University close to home so I can live at home. My college now is about 50 minutes away and I go home EVERY weekend, which makes me happy, but during the week I am miserable. It is not so much the class that I hate, but having to live here and be far away from home, and in my classes I don't focus all I think about are the weekends when I will be able to be home with my family. Now I really am considering transfering after this year, but I don't know how that process works. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

I transferred so I can help you out! I would start looking into the transfer applications as soon as you can. Most schools have specific applications for potential transfer students online where you would fill out an application if you were an incoming freshman too. Some applications have deadlines and some are rolling, so I would look into that ASAP! Also I would recommend calling admissions at the school you're looking at transferring to and seeing if there's someone you could talk to who could give you a general idea on what credits would transfer over to the new school. You'll most likely need to send a copy of your current transcript too, which can sometimes take a while to get, so I would look into getting that as soon as you can too. It seems like a lot of work, but as long as you look at it as a change that will be better for you in the end, then it's totally worth it!
Good luck!

I am in the same exact boat as everyone here, and as bad as this sounds, I find it so comforting that other people feel similar to me and that I'm not alone. I'm a sophomore this year and transferred to a school closer to home after my freshman year. While it is so much better than where I was last year, I still find myself not liking the overall college experience in general. I find myself missing my family all the time and wishing that I could just stay at home, which only makes me feel stupid because I'm supposed to be loving school and never wanting to leave, according to pretty much everyone in the world. <br />
In high school I never had a problem making friends and if you told me that I'd be where I am today, a sophomore in college with only one friend who is leaving the school at the end of the year, I never would have believed it, but now that's my reality and it totally sucks. It hurts me to think that I have to go through two more years of this and really gets me wondering if I'll ever make friends or if I'm just doomed to go through life without any. I'm not into partying and I would much rather stay in on the weekend for a relaxing night than going to bars and clubs until 3, which makes it 500 times harder to meet people that I want to be around. I'm just so sick of struggling with all of this and feeling so down about myself.

I seriously cannot believe I found this thing. Here is my dilemma. I have stuck out the college I am in for now almost a year (freshman year is almost over) and I STILL don't like it! I even joined a sorority and it hasn't made it any better than when I started. I really want to transfer and have called my mom crying because of the position I am in. HOWEVER, my and my friend have already filled out the application for an apartment next year and its only me and her and I would hate to leave her. But I honestly feel so miserable I don't know how I am going to get through another year. Any help?

Well, this is what I would do. If you really are unhappy, truly unhappy where you are, then you are gonna have to talk to your friend about the apartment. It is gonna suck having to say that you are backing out, but you really need to look out for yourself too. If you know you absolutely could not spend another year at the place you are now, then I think the best thing is to change your college. Just tell your friend that you have given this a lot of thought, and you think that transferring to a new college is the best thing for you. Of course, tell her how sorry you are to have to leave her like this, and maybe say you could help her look for a new place or new roommate if she wanted. Then I think she'll know that your not just leaving her out to dry. I hope this helped you a little bit. Good luck with whatever you chose!

God, it feels so good to know that I'm not alone about the whole college thing. I knew my college was going to be academically rigorous, but I was willing to put up with it because I heard that everyone at my college was friendly, awkward, intelligent, and quirky. I've had loner tendencies since middle school, and I never really thought I would fit in anywhere, so I was really excited to hear about a college that had people who were more like me. But I'm almost done with my second trimester, and I've only made one friend, and I feel like we are already growing apart. I don't really like to do the same things as people--I don't play or watch sports, I don't drink, I don't watch the same kind of TV or listen to the same music. <br />
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I had just gotten out of a long-distance relationship at the end of my winter break, so I thought it would be a good time to cheer up and try to make college work for me. I walked up to my dorm all smiley and cheerful, said "hi" to my floormates... But then after a couple weeks I started to feel miserable and alone again. I did clubs and activities that were fun and meaningful to me, but it's hard to sustain yourself on interaction that only happens one or two hours a week. My classes are boring and turned a subject that I like into one that I don't care for much.<br />
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There are some people that I've told about my interest in transferring. Some friends and family support me. Except the one person that I most want to support me is just totally opposed to the idea of transferring. Some people say you need to adjust or change yourself, and that's better than "running away" from a bad experience at college. I feel like I DO need to improve upon some things about myself, but I feel like I can't change myself in a healthy way in this environment because I'm too stressed and overwhelmed.

Wow, I feel very similar to some of these post. This spring semester has been absolutely horrible for me. I recently moved back to campus, and I feel like I'm depressed. I have no friends at this school and I'm having a hard time finding people I can relate to. Being around my roomates is so awkward, but I can't figure out why. To make matter worse my boyfriend just moved on the opposite side of the country. The only thing getting me through these last few weeks are God, my family, and my upcoming trip to visit my boyfriend in Texas. I have no clue how I'm going to make it through another year of this. But I am trying to keep my head up and stay strong!!

I feel the same way, I'm getting teary just thinking about staying another year in this college. I finally decided to transfer at the last minute because I realized the business college was more reasonable...but because of my last minute decision I'm trying to rush before deadline and I'm not even sure if it will be accepted. I feel like I'm letting my family down by being fickle and now I have to face the consequences.

I feel the same way, I'm getting teary just thinking about staying another year in this college. I finally decided to transfer at the last minute because I realized the business college was more reasonable...but because of my last minute decision I'm trying to rush before deadline and I'm not even sure if it will be accepted. I feel like I'm letting my family down by being fickle and now I have to face the consequences.

Hey, This still up?<br />
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I'm in the same boat as you guys are. I just started my 2nd semester my freshman year and I'm probably 99.999999999999999% sure that I want to transfer somewhere else. Over winter break I was so glad to be home in Chicago after 4 months of hell at my college in Tampa where every guy is a complete douche and every girl is trashy. All of my other good friends are going to college in the Chicago Area so I have no way of visiting them and I only have 1 friend here who commutes so I barely ever get to see him. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do because I cant pick between film, animation, game design, acting, radio, and anything else related to these. All Tampa really has is Film, and the only production classes there I would have to wait until Senior year to do. Everything else is just general education and Film history courses. I'm thinking of transfering to DePaul or Columbia in Chicago where I know there are better programs there.<br />
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All my parents say when I talk to them is that I should try to have a new outlook on this semester and that I'm not being sociable enough. I'm trying the former even though I dont see how, and the latter is a complete joke because I have already tried it.<br />
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So, since some of you guys posted around 2 years ago and are now juniors or seniors that are possibly transferred to another school, what happened? Was it better or worse?<br />
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The reasons I want to transfer are that:<br />
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1. The colleges I'm looking at most likely have people who are more into their work than being a retarded drunken fratboy douchebag all the time.<br />
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2. The colleges I'm looking at FOR SURE have better and more diverse programs where I would have more freedom to choose the classes I want and see if film or game design etc. is what I really want to do before its too late.<br />
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3. I know Chicago a lot more than I do Tampa, meaning more fun places to go. All Tampa has is the beach and there is no place to hang out in the city really.<br />
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The downsides are:<br />
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1. worse weather (but i dont really give a damn at this point)<br />
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2. not being right next to Disney or universal, (possibly less internship opportunities, harder to find a job after college. Harder to make connections)<br />
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If you can help me out in any way I would greatly appreciate it. I just want to get started with my life and not grow up to be an unfullfilled, bitter old man who isnt happy with his job and his life in general.<br />
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I just feel like that the decisions I make now will affect the rest of my life. I feel like I'm walking across a field filled with landmines while blindfolded. One wrong move and I'm screwed for the rest of my life.

Sounds like the colleges in Chicago seem better suited for you. Since the second semester started, you pretty much have to finish it, so do just that. But while you finish out this semester, apply to the other colleges that you are looking into. Then, obviously decided which one you want to go to next year. It does really suck when you're at a place that you can't stand, but really know that it won't last forever. You can get through this for sure, cus what else are you gonna do? Not get through it? As for it possibly being harder to find a job or internship opportunities, unless you really want to work at Disney or Universal, then there are probably plenty of opportunities in Chicago. I wouldn't doubt it. So, that's what I would do if I was you. I hope this kinda helped. And remember, you can do this. You got through the first semester, right? :)

I didn't know so many people felt this way! I just started my second semester of my freshman year and I still hate it. I have liked my classes all year and have learned a lot it's just everything else is killing me. I attend a gorgeous, expensive college which my two older sisters attend too and I know am I lucky to be able to go here it's just not what I though it would be. My sisters do not live on campus so I don't see them during the week. I live just 30 minutes away from home and go back every weekend. I have always wanted to go here and thought I would make tons of great friends and discover the so called "college experience", but that's not happening. In high-school I had so many good friends and it seemed easier to make friends then too. All my friends are loving their college life, talking about the good friends they have made and the fun things they do, and I have to sit there and lie to them saying that I am having a great time too. I'm not shy but I'm not loud either. I just know when to keep my mouth shut and don't say everything I'm thinking. I don't like hanging out in huge groups and attending parties with tons of people. But it seems I haven't found anyone like me here. A lot of the people are really immature and obnoxious. I have talked to lots of people but I know we will not become friends. Everyone is in their cliques, which I thought wouldn't exist in college, and it is hard to just join one. I get along with my roommate but we are not becoming "friends" anytime soon. She is the complete opposite of me: messy, fake, and always has to be with her friends drinking or she can't function. I just go to class and come back to my room all the time. It seems like no one is open to new friends. I am starting to feel depressed about this. I keep telling myself it will get better but it hasn't. I feel like I'm going to be saying that until I graduate. I am seriously thinking about transferring so I will have a better social life but I am scared to. I just don't get it. College is not what I imagined it would be.

Wow I feel like I'm the exact opposite of everyone here. I love college life and absolutely dread going back home. I didn't have any friends in high school or growing up really so it was pretty easy to leave my home life and go somewhere I've never been before. My school has a very strong residential population, so most people do live on campus. I just feel like there's always stuff to do and I have made really close friends that I've never had before in my life. IMO I feel like it all depends on what school you go to. Some schools are mostly commuters, so there's less people to hang out with and naturally there's less activities that the school funds for. There's literally always some sort of fun activity going on every day at my school.

I know what yall are talking about! I go to a huge university and my parents are so proud....but I am MISERABLE. I don't party and everyone at my school is obsessed with Greek life and getting drunk. I have made friends but not ones that I want to hang out with all the time. I came home for Christmas break and I never want to leave! ugh! College is definitely NOT the best time of my life. I hate it. I want to just hurry up and finish and have a job that I enjoy!

I'm a freshman guy at my local community college. I HATE it. I honestly didn't have too high hopes for college to begin with. In high school and at college expos, they always hype it up as the "best days of your life" and so on, but as you head closer to it, you realize how serious it actually is. <br />
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I started off my semester pretty much alone and upset about not getting to go to the college I wanted, (it's honestly probably my fault because I procrastinated on the application process and just doubted myself overall), and I thought "Hey, maybe this won't be so bad. Maybe I'll make some friends here and actually enjoy this". Turns out I was wrong. It was even worse than high school. In HS, I at least got to talk to people and come home with a story to tell on a daily basis. <br />
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I'm just still adjusting to the strictly lecture-ba<x>sed style of college. It's just so impersonal and emotionless. I just feel like I'm surrounded in a sea full of zombies (and I'm slowly starting to become one myself). At least half of my college is made up of foreigners who are in their late 30s and 40s, and barely speak English, and then the rest is hoodrats and odd, eccentric characters. I've honestly tried to find friends, but its just basically impossible. And I understand that CC isn't the best place to make friends, but I'm just becoming SO miserable. I hate this and I don't want to do it, but I feel like I owe it to my mom for all the hard work she's done for me, and I really need a college degree to feel like somebody and to have a decent-paying job.<br />
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I almost wish I could just make it big in Hollywood tommorow, become a millionaire and just forget all this crap. It's just not what I desire anymore.<br />
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Growing up these days is just so tough for this generation. I applaud anyone of us that actually makes it to the end of this mess.

I´m in the same situation. <br />
I have been here almost seven months. <br />
No one seems to be friends with me and seems <br />
to pick those who they knew from work or high school. <br />
I just want to survive and for this it´s going to be tree tough years ahead. <br />
And everyday will be a battle for me! <br />
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But I´m very much motivated to go college everyday. <br />
But my patience is really being tested!

I´m in the same situation. <br />
I have been here almost seven months. <br />
No one seems to be friends with me and seems <br />
to pick those who they knew from work or high school. <br />
I just want to survive and for this it´s going to be tree tough years ahead. <br />
And everyday will be a battle for me! <br />
<br />
But I´m very much motivated to go college everyday. <br />
But my patience is really being tested!

I do feel the same way you do. I wasn't very popular in high school and I has few friends in high school. High school was the best time of my life and I did really enjoy it, high school was fun, easy thing I have. College is what I expected to be and it is kind but diffrent from high school. I am going community college take required class in general and I have undeicide major yet. I have been to community college for three year and now I don't like it anymore! I have no passion, desire, learning to go class anymore and I am tired of that. I have realized college is not for me and I have tired really hard. I did thought college was for me but not anymore. I want to do something with my life other than college and I have been thinking about get another job that doesn't required college degrees. I am unhappy, miserable at the community college! This is not what I want with my life doing that.

I'm in the same place right now. For someone who actually went to community college for two years, I thought that I was doing things right. I wasn't sure of what I wanted to study but I decided to go with Vocal Performance and go to a university out-of-state. I felt a little unsettled about it, but I thought moving away and going through this challenging experience would be amazing and a great growth experience. Now, I'm out here a year later, took this semester of school off because I was so miserable last year. I don't get why I was so miserable and why it was so hard to make friends. Yes, my school was a commuter school and hardly anyone stays on-campus but I didn't know that before I moved here. I like the place I moved to but the school made me miserable. I am still deciding whether I should return to this school in the spring but I am still unsure of what I was studying before and I don't know what to do. Feeling very lost. Afraid to go back but afraid to transfer too.

I'm in the same place right now. For someone who actually went to community college for two years, I thought that I was doing things right. I wasn't sure of what I wanted to study but I decided to go with Vocal Performance and go to a university out-of-state. I felt a little unsettled about it, but I thought moving away and going through this challenging experience would be amazing and a great growth experience. Now, I'm out here a year later, took this semester of school off because I was so miserable last year. I don't get why I was so miserable and why it was so hard to make friends. Yes, my school was a commuter school and hardly anyone stays on-campus but I didn't know that before I moved here. I like the place I moved to but the school made me miserable. I am still deciding whether I should return to this school in the spring but I am still unsure of what I was studying before and I don't know what to do. Feeling very lost. Afraid to go back but afraid to transfer too.

Yep basically in the same boat as all of u hate my college, except i decided it was a great idea to go to school literally on the other side of the country, so im suck in this little tiny state with no car an crapy public transportation. I don't have any friends here, even though i have tried and put in a lot of effort by join clubs and being much more out going then i normally am. I guess since I wasn't the the most popular person at my high school, i'm too different from everyone else here to make friends.... So now i have to decide if i should transfer to a school twice as expensive with no guarantee anything will actually be better or go go to the state school near home thats half the price but also half the academic quality.... oh or just stay here and be alone and missable for the next 2 years. Any suggestions?

Yep basically in the same boat as all of u hate my college, except i decided it was a great idea to go to school literally on the other side of the country, so im suck in this little tiny state with no car an crapy public transportation. I don't have any friends here, even though i have tried and put in a lot of effort by join clubs and being much more out going then i normally am. I guess since I wasn't the the most popular person at my high school, i'm too different from everyone else here to make friends.... So now i have to decide if i should transfer to a school twice as expensive with no guarantee anything will actually be better or go go to the state school near home thats half the price but also half the academic quality.... oh or just stay here and be alone and missable for the next 2 years. Any suggestions?

done be miserable!! do what makes you comfortable and happy

Oh my! I am so glad I found this group... I started college this year, and came in with such high expectations which just fell flat from the get-go. It's not even the 'school' I hate. I love most of my professors but just hate the students. I am an introvert with misanthropic tendencies and just don't enjoy being around people too much because I have never found anyone that understands me or who I am compatible with. I have one best friend but she goes to another school. I entered college with the false hopes that it's easy to meet people like you and all that jazz but it's just not. I hate my roommate a lot for one. I really tried talking with her from the first day, but I just felt like she judged me and she made me feel very uncomfortable. I also tend to go to bed early and it's just like she purposely would come in whenever she does and just make SO MUCH noise doing god knows what and I couldn't sleep. I don't even look at her anymore if I see her let alone talk to her... the people on my dorm floor are snobs and ****** who are so obnoxious and loud too. Most people just care about drinking and partying and talk about the STUPIDEST AND MOST TRIVIAL THINGS EVER. Over the years I've felt, and still feel, that I'm just not an easy person to like. I've been told by many [including my mom lol] that I may seem arrogant to people and very uptight but that's just because I'm really socially awkward and am not good at conversing with people, and just enjoy doing things on my own time. People usually hang out with me only to use me for things... college has been the exact same. No different. I just don't know... it just sucks so much. The exact same as high school, full of cliques and people who just don't get it :/

All these stories make me feel increasingly better.I hate hearing about stories from all my friends loving their college experience, and me not so much. I feel like im not even the same person anymore. I used to party here and there ,I used to laugh and smile all the time, I feel more stressed out than ever, so smoke a lot more than I ever did . Im changing and I don't like it. The only pro from college so far is I lost 20lbs, because all i do is workout. I cant take it anymore, this college is just a over-grown high-school and im the new kid. So far college isn't "the best years of my life". And joining clubs is over-rated most people don't even take time to get to know you.<br />
<br />
-Lonely Loner

I last posted a month ago... I'm wondering if it has gotten any better for anyone?<br />
I'm still just as unhappy, I hate the weekends because I don't have anyone to party with even if I want to, I'm getting to the point where I'm going to the libraries on the weekends because it is too embarrassing to tell my roommate that I spent yet another Saturday night watching old movies on my laptop. So I should be getting great grades right? Wrong! Too depressed to really study- I watch movies in the library instead.<br />
I met a girl that I get along with, finally, and we are becoming friends, but I'm trying hard not to convey that I am friendless and desperate! And it's hard! She asks what I did in the weekend and it's like... oh, you know... nothing terribly exciting,.. what about you? I have met a lot of her friends and they are great, I want to join that circle, but they are in another residence and all pretty good friends already, it makes it hard and I don't know how to insert myself into that group!! :(<br />
I miss home so much... I'm so close to my family and being so far from them is so hard... I'm finally home for the first weekend since I got here, and I don't know if I can make myself go back on Sunday night.<br />
Why is this so horrible? It isn't fair.

Okay. So after reading all these comments, I am so happy that people feel the same way as me! I have been at a small college for about a month, and in the beginning it really wasn't that bad. I am very very close to my family and knew it was going to be a hard transition, but not this hard! I look at my friends and see how much fun they are having and I feel like I am missing out on something. It feels like all anyone does here on the weekends is go out and drink, party and act stupid..I really thought at college people were going to be more mature! I am in a smallish town and I feel trapped on the campus, like there is no other option than to go out and party on the weekends. I am working hard in my classes and have joined a lot of clubs and activities and still I don't feel...right. I have talked to my parents and friends about this and their advice is always, "give it time, it will get better"..but my concern is what if it doesn't? I dread weekends and almost want to go to classes! I'm counting down the days until I get to go home for break. I have some friends on campus here, but I just don't feel comfortable yet. I am considering transferring to a college that is 15 minutes (rather than 3 1/2 hours) away from home, but I am so lost on what to do. I made a pros/con list on what I should do and there are more pros than cons.. I can either stay here for the entire year and hope it gets better, or transfer after one semester..but what if I make the wrong choice!? If I leave now, or stay; I want to make the right decision and I am scared to act on anything. HELP ME! I am so lost and confused on what to do..

it's nice to hear of someone in the same situation. i also made a pro's and con's list of transferring to a college super close to home and i think i've came to the conclusion that i will be transferring at the end of the semester. what you have to do is not focus on the crappy dorm life because anyone can tough that out, you need to decide what it is that makes you happy and if you can better achieve that where you are now or back home. it's a lot to think about but best of luck to you!

Wow, when I read your story I almost died just because it is word for word what I am expiriencing. College is not all it's cracked up to be and I hate it just as much as it sounds like you do. I'm also planning on transferring to a community college near my hometown next semester. All people ever say is 'oh, just tough it out. you'll learn to love it' but idk about you, but I don't see it getting any better no matter how long I 'tough it out'.

wow after reading this it makes me feel a bit better to know that im not alone. i go to what everyone thinks is a good school and when i first visited i thought it was going to be the place for me. I thought i had fallen in love with it, but after a freshman camp they had i knew i was not gonna like it. I tried to talk to my parents about letting me stay at the local college but they wouldnt hear of it. now im a month and a half in and i still hate it. Everyday i feel miserable, i count down the days until i can go home. I really want to transfer next semester to the local college until i figure out what school is really right for me. Like most of yall im not a partier either and so i really dont fit in here very well. Everyone goes to parties on the weekends and get drunk. Im just not into that, i feel like i would do so much better in a place where i was actually happy. but theres no incentive to do very well when im so unhappy where im at. I just know that this school isnt where i belong. i dont feel like a student here. i really wish i could go back in time and think really hard about where i chose to go to school because this is so hard and frustrating. I feel like im stuck because i have no choice but to be here and my parents wont let me transfer until the end of the spring semester, im so frustrated. i hate that i hate my college :(

Everyone on here sounds exactly like me. I've been living in residence for two weeks now and I absolutely hate it. My roommate is a nice girl, but she came with her friends from home and she hangs out with them 24/7. I know absolutely no-one, and I'm not good at meeting people on my own- that's why I wanted a roommate- but she doesn't want to meet people, so I wind up hanging out with her and her friends all the time, and they are nice but I'm a fifth wheel! And somehow, pretty much everyone in my building either came with friends or settled into their cliques very quickly. It doesn't help that I'm actually older than everyone else- I'm 20, and grew up in a city, so I've been very independent and mature from a young age- whereas everyone is actually 18, but they are more immature than my 16 year old sister. And I'm not a partier! I like to have drinks occasionally, play a drinking game or have a mini dance rave, but every night? Seriously? I'm actually here to learn! It's sad, because I was so excited to come to this really 'amazing' school, but its getting clearer every day that this wasn't the right school for me at all. :(

Ugh I know same here, everyone has their own friends from high school or their cliques (even though we've only been here for a couple weeks) already and i feel so left out! I literally have no friends. My room mate is nice i guess but we barely speak, i get the idea that she doesn't like me or just sees me as a roomie and not a potential friend. And same with me, i wanted a roomie because i thought it would be like having a build in friend and she would help me meet people - nope! She already has friends so she has no interest in making new ones with me. Honestly your post seems as though you have read my mind - i'm not a huge drinker and im not a partier at all; a few drinks is fine but i'm not interested in getting drunk or drinking/partying every single night! and that seems to be the only way to make friends, at parties, so i theres another reason why i have no friends. I feel like I can't relate to anyone here and i feel so alone all the time. And it's not like I don't try. I try to talk to people when they're not busy which apparently is never so i dont get to do that very often, and i keep my dorm room door open like all the time but nobody comes in, nobody stops by, unless it is to see my room mate. I feel so alone and rejected here so don't worry, i know just how you feel :(

I'm a college freshman and it's only been 9 days but I'm beyond miserable. The first thing I found out about myself upon the first day (4 hours after move in) that the dorm life is not for me. I can't tolerate drunken idiots running up and down the halls, hearing every day about who did a walk of shame, and having wannabe frat guys (this small catholic school doesn't have Greek life, I thought that would've kept kids like this out) blasting their Mac Miller on full blast with their doors open to irritate kids like me who don't even have the motivation to walk to their library and study. Don't get me wrong, I'm trying my hardest to study, sit at the front of the class, and do well so I can transfer to the state school down the street from my house. This experience made me yearn to commute. The school was so misleading at every orientation when they'd stress "this isn't that big of a drinking school, and even the drinkers will accept you for who you are.". That was such a lie, I was pressured 8 times last night to go to either drink or go to one of the stupid nightclubs that 95% of the campus was at. The campus looks like a ghost town on Friday and Saturday nights. The gym and library are only open until 8 on Friday and Saturday nights because the school figures that nobody will even be around to do school work and such. Saturday and Sunday afternoons are catered to the hangover crowd (food areas don't open until 1-2 in the afternoon). I just can't rant enough about how decieving this school ended up being and how depressed I am to be here. I bought a train ticket for next week so I can go home and regain some sanity before I have to go back to this place. Might I add, upon arrival, the school gave us a map with blocked out red zones SURROUNDING the campus telling us that it's too dangerous to walk in those areas. A typical student hears about 8 rounds of sirens a day because the crime rate in this city is through the roof. I'm kicking myself for not taking this into serious consideration. Long story short, this school is a major letdown considering the fact that the tuition is ~54,000 a year. I'm working my butt off on my transfer app so I can secure a spot as a commuter next semester. Until then, I feel like a prisoner at this place.

That sounds horrible, i'm sorry you're going through that. I am going through quite the similar thing. I knew just as soon as I got here that dorm life was not for me. There are always people partying, yelling,and drinking around me as well only the difference is that they don't go anywhere to party, they do it in residence so there is no way for me to escape it. I seriously hope this does not continue for either of us. Also, if your tuition costs that much maybe consider dropping out and working for the year then going to a school you enjoy next year? If you haven't paid your tuition yet, that is. Some schools haven't paid yet so it's still possible to get out without costing yourself anything, I hope this is the case for you because that sounds like your best option. Good luck with the situation, i hope it gets figured out soon!