Bite Me, Popcorn People

While I can name about a million retarded television ads right off the top of my head, one that especially sticks out was a spot for a low-calorie version of Orville Redenbacher popcorn I saw last night.  In it, some woman is basically given the choice between this monster bowl of whatever- percent- fat-free popcorn and about half a cup of raw almonds, both of which contain 100 calories, and the jist of the whole thing is, "which would YOU rather have for 100 calories?!!"

Hmmm....  a bunch of insubstantial, overly processed, nutritionally bereft nonfood that is 90% air and about as flavorful as a bowl of foam packing peanuts, or a handful of fiber and vitamin rich whole food with enough beneficial fatty acids to keep me from being hungry for another two hours?  Are you screwing with me, ConAgra, or do you really think I am THAT much of a moron?  You aren't even comparing apples to oranges here, you fucksticks!  At least those two items are good for you!  Give me the damned almonds already...  my body is not going to see any difference between your popcorn and a tablespoon of baking soda, for crying out loud, let alone do anything to kill my appetite.  Don't get me wrong...  your movie theater butter flavor is off the hook, if it's popcorn I'm craving.  Just don't take everything out of it that makes it worthwhile and then try to sell me the leftover skeletal remains as health food!!

RedRover RedRover
36-40, F
Feb 18, 2010