Six Pack Abs In Five Minutes A Day? Wtf?

So there I was at the gym this morning, bopping along on an elliptical trainer doing my usual warm-up for the routine ahead, when the guy on the machine next to me starts cracking up and shaking his head.  Noting my quizzical expression, he smiled, pointed to one of the TV's mounted over the cardio bank, and mouthed the words, "ain't THAT some ****?"  In a minute, I was laughing too.  Just when you think you've seen it all, here comes another "miracle" device that makes you wonder just how stupid it's creators think the general public actually is.

The ad the young man was referring to was for a device called the "Ab Contour Belt", a vibrating doohickey you strap around around your midsection that not only makes "painful and boring" crunches obsolete, but apparently also takes the place of the clean diet and regular cardiovascular training upon which the classic 'six pack' generally depends.  "This revolutionary device", according to the voiceover, "activates your abdominal muscles passively, stimulating and flexing them (insert astronomical number of times) per minute," while you, the wearer, do nothing except walk around some gorgeous island paradise with a drink in your hand and a gigantic orgasmic smile on your face, if the accompanying video is any indication.  My favorite part of the commercial is where the announcer starts describing how you just strap this puppy on and let it do "all the work", and the lesser-known figure athlete and Level 10 gymnast wearing it flops down on a couch in front of a TV with a bowl of chips in her hand and exclaims, "IT'S THAT EASY!"  Damn, I wanted her to start snarfing those Fritos to PROVE IT, but obviously, that didn't happen...

Um, if it really WAS that easy, wouldn't we all be walking around with bellies to rival those on Greek statuary?   How are people stupid enough to fall for this crap able to tie their shoes every morning without choking themselves to death on them or something?  Is ANYONE that dumb?

Seriously.

RedRover RedRover
36-40, F
Mar 5, 2010