Competitive Friends

 I can not stand when friendships turn into a competition.

This really only happens with one of my friends in particular, and yes, of course it's another girl.  I think the reason it gets to me so much is because I honestly have no other girl friends who do this.  I come from a small town, so all of my "home" friends are very close, yes we get in our occasional spats- but they have never been caused by jealousy.

This friend of mine loves to belittle me especially when we are in social settings.  I am very level headed so I usually don't  let it bother me, and chalk it up to her being insecure with herself.  I can't pretend that it's not taking a toll on my ability to trust her, however.  I'm very reluctant to tell her things now, simply because I fear she will use those things I tell her in confidence against me.  

We just started talking after a 2 month grace period.  Basically I was just tired of her ****, and needed to evaluate whether or not her friendship was worthwhile.  Things between us are pretty good as of now.  I still find her bringing up anything possible to brag to me about, in the hopes that she can make me jealous.  Thing is--- I'm not.  I wish all of my friends the BEST.  I don't want to compete with them.  

zweetbea zweetbea
26-30, F
2 Responses Feb 21, 2009

So true! I had to end a friendship because my ex-friend wanted to "beat me". I never provoked her in the firstplace! She publicly insulted me often and bragged every chance she got. Yet, I've never done that to her. Why would someone be like that? That was very stupid of her to try to compete with somone who isn't competing with you.

Tell her (them) she (they) doesn't (don't :):):) exist unless she can falsely PUFF HERSELF up and tell her she needs to understand how to BE A FRIEND before she can TRULY HAVE A FRIEND.<br />
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You're already there and you need to face they may NEVER GET THERE - This kind of pride runs deep and is very ugly! They love themselves so much they pfsssssss it off as your problem and never take the time to get the mirror out. <br />
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Its' very sad and you should celebrate that you already recognize it and that''s wonderful!<br />
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Next birthday, give them a mirror.