So Belittling.

People are always using condescending behaviors towards me because I am a really nice person who does not often confront or lash out at people.  The worst one is:  Oh, you've lost weight!  Chances are if you have a bit of extra weight you know that one well.  All I wanna do is scream at the person, "SHUT THE **** UP!  I KNOW YOU'RE LYING BECAUSE I AM CURRENTLY CRAMMED INTO THESE JEANS THAT I USED TO SLIP RIGHT ON A YEAR AGO!"  UGH!  It drives me nuts.  Another one is, and this one is frequently used by my mom when I have a conflicting opinion or view on a particular situation:  You'll feel different when you're older.  That's like saying I'm just some immature person who's opinion doesn't matter at all, because I am not a certain age.  So what,  If you're thirty then your opinion counts, but until then it doesn't?  That's funny because our new president got most of his votes from people in their twenties.  People only say that to you because they think they're right and they feel stupid that their nineteen year old daughter is making a valid point.  My mom, while supporting my upcoming marriage, completely underminds it.  She told me that one day I'm gonna feel like having a long list of sexual partners like her.  "When you're older you'll feel different."  Umm, I don't think so. 

Most of my experiences with condescending behavior include little blows about my weight and age.  My weight because that is the only problem with my outward appearance (If I was thin I'd be hot, according to some rather blunt people.), I have long, dark curly hair that people are always touching in public and saying how they want my hair, I'm a good height, and I have great boobs.  So alot of people, who are insecure with themselves, decide to take stabs at me because that is the only thing they can see wrong with me.  Then they use my age as a defense mechanism of sorts, because if someone didn't know how old I was, they would guess I was years older than I am.  I am educated, mature and responsible.  I know about things in the world.  It makes people mad that I can sit down, and only when brought on by themselves, and analyze their situation and give them an honest opinion.

If you want to experience someone treating you like the scum of the Earth, go to a Victoria's secret store.  I don' t know if they're all the same, but in this store in our local mall it's bad and I finally refuse never to return.  After all, I can't find my size in anything cute anyway, I'm right at the cut off line.  When you enter the store, and I shop in jeans and t-shirt usually to stay comfortable, some lady in all black comes up and greets you.  No, I do not need your help in picking out my underwear, kthnx!  Well, usually I'm not alone while shopping.  I bring my teenage sister.  To the employees of that store, that automatically equals we're thieves.  I have never stolen anything in my life.  Neither has my sister.  For one thing, every little thing in that store has a huge plastic thing on it that would set off the alarm.  I don't know how to remove those things without plain ripping the delicate little panties right in half!  Nor would I attempt.  The very last time I went, I was going to buy something really nice to wear for my man.  When we entered the store the lady was there.  I told her I didn't need help and moved on.  I had a black bag with me that I'd just gotten with my purchase at hot topic.  When I was in the center of the store looking at these cami/thong sets, trying to decide which style I liked best and which one would actually fit me, she came around the corner and was staring at me.  She asked me again if I needed help.  Once again I politely responded no.  For the rest of my stay in the store, about twenty minutes, she followed me and my sister the entire time.  Like we were some lowlife hoodlums who had to steal panties. 

Everyday of my life, just about, I get called fat girl and a fat a**.  Recently, I feel like I am ready to go out into the world and get a job, after suffering from agoraphobia for a year.  I asked my mom's bf if he could get me a job where he works, I wasn't serious, but my mom went crazy.  She made her usual, I'm gonna make you feel two inches tall face, and went on and on about how I could easily have a job with her if I could "get over my shyness".  Well, I don't want to work with her because she works off of commission, and trying to sell stuff in this economy is just asking to be fired.  She tells me all the time how people are getting fired left and right because they can't make sells.  I know the job wouldn't suit me at all.  I just wish the world wasn't so cruel.

urbrandofheroin urbrandofheroin
22-25, F
2 Responses Feb 16, 2009

You're awesome!

God that bothers me so much, I cannot stand that! Like, why is that the only thing anyone notices? This world is nothing but weight weight weight. I'm attractive but not skinny, and that is like 100 points off my beauty score. That is the reason we have so many people battling anorexia and bulimia.