Can Americans Help Us, We Dont Want To Speak German

Subject: Euro-English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather
than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". Th is will make words
like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali *** tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

firstminister firstminister
56-60, M
7 Responses Jun 15, 2012

I really think there should be some spelling reform with English. I find it asinine that consonants have more than one pronunciation and there are some good ideas in there (not all, mind you). I would axe the letter c, make x pronounced like sh, write the "soft" g as dj (j would be like the s in vision), replace ch with tx, and write the voiced th as dh. Dhat xould make things easier and make some letters more useful.

My ancestors were forced to learn english, when the brits invaded, they were punished for speaking their native tongues, so some massacred the english language here in the US on least those that came before me did, and I grew up wit whatz up, que paso, how ya doin man. Anyway nothing wrong with German!Though there is with the the british government. It's spelled genocide! They killed more Irish, Aussie Aborigines, and Native Americans put together than Hitler ever did!Personally I favor Spanish to both

I used to think that Americans murdered the English language! Bring on the European Commission! And good-bye to the 75 phonograms and 54 rules of position!

Yanks are taught easy English for Dopes

Maybe it should be called Euroglish. It may be good for the economy. By the time we had learned to read Japglish instruction manuals the quality of Japanese products had improved so much we couldn't afford to buy them anymore.

Sehr gut , meine minister......deutschland uber alles.

Nein danke England is the greatest country on earth uber alles & will remain so.

you are a genius.<br />
okay, i'll get a divorce....

Do it now Or Else

what can you offer me?


but the bunny comes too.....

You wont need a little rabbit

but she's got such cute flipsey flopsey ears

I will consider it

4 More Responses


Sis is nict funi