I Shouldn't Be Depressed

Depression is the stupidest mental disorder for me to have. I should not be depressed. I do not have a reason to be depressed. Yet time after time, I get this episodes and I can't take it. With each one, it gets easier and harder. It is easier because the pain becomes more familiar, but it gets harder because each time, it is more difficult to get back up.

I wonder what would happen if I lead a more difficult life. What right do I have to feel this way, to think this way, when my family and life has been so kind to me? 

The only thing that keeps me going - now at least, is my family. They have been through enough - and life has not given me a good enough reason to quit. I just hope my newest attempt will bring some relief - I can't live a 'normal' life - I can't take the mental pain -

Medication is okay - its gets you through, but it slows you down. Mentally at least. For me.