I Was a Victim of Dv

Never thought in a million years a guy would ever hit me.

Never understood why women stayed with men who abused them.

I never thought that domestic violence would ever be on my record.

I learned the hard way.

I was so happy to be dating this guy whom I had a crush on since the 7Th grade and didn't reunite with him until a couple years after high school. We hit it off and started dating right away.

Our dates consisted of getting drunk on vodka. Pretty soon we were drinking vodka every day.

After about a year of good times... things started to go bad.

When he had reached a certain point of drunkenness his personality would split and he would turn into this evil demonic person. He would threaten me and himself and call me names that I had never been called before.

The first time he hurt me was at a Halloween party, my friend was with us and she wanted to go home so I dropped her off and returned to the party. I met up with him and he told me to leave him alone because he was talking to older girls.. I was flabbergasted. I of course talked back. I couldn't believe what a jerk he had become. Apparently he had taken several shots of hard liquor while I was gone. I had to leave, he walked me outside and kicked me in the stomach, I never cried so hard. I don't really remember exactly what happened because that was so long ago, but I do know that I forgave him because he was drunk. He apologized and I thought it would never happen again.

Our 2nd fight, i'm remembering now. I was dropping him off at home after a night of drinking and for some reason he was arguing with me. I remember he struck me and I struck back this time. He banged my head on my window and I had an anxiety attack. I was crying and gasping for air, I was so hurt emotionally and numb to the pain physically. My lungs became rock hard and I started having chest pains. He stopped hitting me when he heard the way I was gasping for every breath. He had a panic attack recently and immediately knew what I was having. I never had this happen to me, it was all new to me. I was never treated like he treated me. I have always had so much respect and have received respect from people. I had never been abused or mistreated ever. My parents never even hit me as a child. So imagine my shock. Being the "nice" guy he was he drove me to the emergency where I was drugged up and told I wasn't having a heart attack like I thought I was, it was just anxiety. Luckily I had health insurance because the bill was 1300 I only had to pay 30. I thought our experience that night made us closer and I thought he would never hurt me again...

and that's the way things went for the next 3 years.

Our fights graudually got worse and worse. I forgot to mention that he gradually moved into my apt. I tried my best to try and make things work out between us. My friends knew there was something wrong between us. Sometimes I forgot to hide my bruises. They knew what was going on and didn't like him for me one bit. My roommate had many complaints. We were fighting at crazy late hours of the night, I was always crying. She was always asking me if I was ok. The worst part is, he eventually stoppd working and I supported him 100%. 

He was a manipulator and he was good at making people believe he was a good guy.

While I was at work he would persuade my roommate into thinking that I was the one at fault for all the problems in our relationship. She would talk to me and I'd even start believing things were my fault. She'd tell me what a good guy he was and that I was gonnna lose him if I didn't start to change. He was the real monster, very good at masking it too.

Things got really bad when we were gonna visit his friend sarah whom I had become friends with too. She just moved to a new place and I could not find it. We had been drinking of course. I drove us around for hours looking. I had a migraine and he was getting pissed at me for not being able to find it. I had to pull over to throw up twice and I still kept driving around like a fuckn idiot looking for her house just to please him. He got so mad the he kept pressing his foot into my windshield eventually cracking it. I'm yelling WTF are you doing! He kept pressing and pressing. Oh and did I mention he was a true master at pushing buttons. He made me so mad that I got my right hand into a fist and swung as hard as I could for his face, I hit him in the nose and it started bleeding. ( I had made the first attack. I always hit back in my defense but it was me who started it this time) Him trying to act like a badass he thought he was spit his blood all over my window and started to kick my windshield. I drove us home broken bloody windshield and all. The fighting continued to the parking lot where he bashed my entire windshield.

The next morning the police were at my door. I answered in just my towel not realizing it was the police. My right arm exposed all black and blue.

I really meant to make this a short story, I can't believe how long it's become and this isn't even half of what I went through with him. If you're still reading, thanks for sticking through.

The police questioned me and I tried my best to defend him. Right away he got called to come out and speak to another officer. They questioned us seperately, we never had a chance to get our stories straight.

Honestly, I was relieved that the police had come to me and I was happy they saw my bruises. I wanted him to get in trouble for what he had done to me.

I forgot what a manipulator he was and he totally made up a story about a bebe gun hitting the window.

My car looked like a crime scene blood and bashed windshield. It was a crime scene. Burglars decided to take a crowbar to my windshield to fully break it in and went through and stole everything that was in my car. He got lucky because he made the police believe it was the burglars and not him.

Crime scene investigation came and took pictures of my bruises.

Guess who decides to come for a visit! His mom and dad show up, and not to mention the neighbors who had been watching... How embarrassing and humilating to have people watching while CSI takes photos of your bruises.

We both have Domestic Violence on our records, and I thought for sure, this is the last time he's gonna hit me.

Not even close!

After about another 6 months of this abuse. I decided to move out. On my moving day he took my car out for a wash and was MIA for 8 hours. He came back with no car. He had totalled it. So great!!!! I had my mom help me move and I moved in with my girl friend of 8 years who was dating mybrother. The 3 of us shared an apt for over a year.

I have to end this story now because I really need to  shower and get to bed.

To Be continued....

P.s. stay tuned because after all this I still continued to see him, I even broke my ankle in 3 and still continued to see him!!

VanGo VanGo
22-25, F
Feb 23, 2009