A Drunk Driver Killed My Boyfriend

Thursday morning Simon woke up by his alarm.  I was beside him.  We cuddled for a few minutes during the “snooze” like we always do, then he got up.  He had a flight at 830. He got ready and kissed me goodbye.  On our way to the airport we drive down about 7km of very dark highway.  Coming South on the highway was a 19 year old with 3 other passengers, all drunk, at 7am.  About 1 mile before this person found Simon, he played “chicken” with another car and ran the other car off the road.  Then he continued to find Simon.  I can only assume he played “chicken” again with Simon, only instead of running his car off the right hand side of the road, Simon turned left to go around the car.  The car also went that direction resulting in a head on collision at speeds I can assume at around 100kph.  Simon’s car was absolutely destroyed... I saw it.  I wish I hadn’t, but I wanted to see if I could get anything out of it.  It had landed upside down.  The only recognizable part was the trunk, and there was ice-crystals of blood hanging off the metal and the interior.  Simon was declared dead at the scene.

I got out of bed at 830 and went to my apartment where my dad was waiting.  When I got there, Mike (another pilot) called me and said he was coming over.  I saw him pull up so I went to open the door.  Mike had two cops behind him.  I started to panic and demanded he tell me what happened.  He got me into my apartment and told me there had been an accident, and that Simon was dead.  I don’t really remember much after that, except that the cops couldn’t get a hold of Simon’s parents.  So I went online and tried to get a hold of his brother so I could get his Dad’s cell number.  When I finally got it at 4pm Thursday, his father still didn’t know, so I called him and told him.  I had to tell Simon’s father, over the phone, that his son was dead.

My house was bombarded with people all day, food, flowers, etc, poured in.  Probably a good thing because I think I would have gone and jumped off a bridge had I been alone.  Every day now is a struggle for me.  I pray every day to die.  I ask everyday, WHY?  WHY simon?  Why so young?  Why ruin everything for me, for his wonderful family?  I feel completely alone now, and homeless, lost.  I was sure I was going to marry Simon and we would live “happily ever after.”  I have never loved a man like I love him, and I have never felt so loved. I was sure he was my soul mate.  I don’t think I can continue on in the same city.  My life there was Simon, he was the reason I had stayed there so long already.  The pain I feel is so real, it is hard to breathe, I don’t want to get up in the morning, my heart pounds in my chest.  I just don’t know what to do anymore.  My beautiful, wonderful, passionate, loving, caring, protective partner is now but dust, in a ******* vase, in a hole in the wall. 

dszabo dszabo
26-30
1 Response Feb 27, 2010

hang on to yourself...get through each day, one by one......my heart and prayers go out to you and Simon`s family