Realized That Visiting Facebook Makes Me Depressed

Became aware this week that visiting Facebook causes me to feel lonely, rejected and depressed. I see people adding new friends all the time, but I'm either hiding people or having to remove people from my friend list when it gets too painful.

Just this week I had this person who was a dear friend to me get offended at me and reject me just because I asked her if she received the email I sent her through Facebook and said that I was trying to fade out of the picture if I needed to. Every time I logged into Facebook I saw her interact with lots of people, but she would never interact with me. Then after I asked her about it, she gets offended with me and says that "they are rallying around her" while she is going through stuff. But she would never tell ME what she was going through. I saw that she had gotten to the point where she would only interact with phony christian types (you know - the ones who have no sympathy or compassion and are easily judgmental).

And it's not just her. This is what happens to me ALL the time: I comment on other people's stuff, they never respond or comment on mine. I reach out, they reject. This type of stuff makes me VERY depressed and I realized that this drags me down and only makes me feel horrible about myself and hopeless.
wordsforliving wordsforliving
46-50, F
14 Responses Aug 5, 2010

Deactive your account (I did and it made me happier!)

Have you ever considered that you could have borderline personality disorder? Yes, FB can make a person feel bad and rejected from time to time, but your emotional response to the perceived rejection sounds pretty drastic.

It sounds like you are becoming "Net Depressed". (yes really - it's been studied!)<br />
The American Academy of Pediatrics just published a study that said "The condition that some in the media are calling "Facebook Depression" is tied to the sometimes brutal experiences that people have on social networking sites." <br />
Basically what happens is that we look at friend totals, stauts updates adn even photos of happy people doing happy things and it makes people feel bad about themselves if they feel like their own "boring lives" pale in comparison. <br />
Dr. Gwenn O'Keefe, a Boston area pediatrician and lead author of the study says that online social isolation can actually leverage a teenager's emotions more powerfully than traditional isolating experiences like sitting alone in a cafeteria. On facebook we get a skewed view of real life - people who look happy may actually be miserable!<br />
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Hang in there - Don't get your value from other's interactions! And checkout The LOVE Project at www.youtube.com/theloveprojectonline just for fun!

It sounds like you are becoming "Net Depressed". (yes really - it's been studied!)<br />
The American Academy of Pediatrics just published a study that said "The condition that some in the media are calling "Facebook Depression" is tied to the sometimes brutal experiences that people have on social networking sites." <br />
Basically what happens is that we look at friend totals, stauts updates adn even photos of happy people doing happy things and it makes people feel bad about themselves if they feel like their own "boring lives" pale in comparison. <br />
Dr. Gwenn O'Keefe, a Boston area pediatrician and lead author of the study says that online social isolation can actually leverage a teenager's emotions more powerfully than traditional isolating experiences like sitting alone in a cafeteria. On facebook we get a skewed view of real life - people who look happy may actually be miserable!<br />
<br />
Hang in there - Don't get your value from other's interactions! And checkout The LOVE Project at www.youtube.com/theloveprojectonline just for fun!

I rarely get any comments or posts... I have been less and less tempted to visit Facebook. The only thing is that I have Facebook Pages for business, but it's very hard to maintain those because I avoid even logging in!

Stay away from things that feed into your depression. I should probably stop too, but I have a love/ hate thing with FB. I tend to post my own stuff often as well as comment on other pages because it is an interesting time-waster - but no one, NO ONE ever posts on my page.

Facebook is an online high school(now complete with family) in which anyone can check up on you or stalk you and whatever is on your profile is all they know about you, and will gossip to everyone they know about you based on the information on your profile. Whoever spends more time uploading pictures and videos and updating their crap on that site is viewed favorably as long as it is positive in that FACEBOOK IS A PLACE TO BRAG ABOUT **** because facebook is like a high school reunion, and facebook is the closest I ever would get ot one, I'd rather die than go to one. I hated high school and I hate facebook too. everyone on facebook is superficial and trying to make their identity or image out of a couple website pages, not realizing that I already know that if I scratch beneath the surface I will find that their grass has been painted green and is in fact worse than mine, mostly because when you scratch beneath the surface of their grass there in only 1 inch of dirt and then a bunch of concrete, but mine goes straight down through endless la<x>yers... :)

Facebook is an online high school(now complete with family) in which anyone can check up on you or stalk you and whatever is on your profile is all they know about you, and will gossip to everyone they know about you based on the information on your profile. Whoever spends more time uploading pictures and videos and updating their crap on that site is viewed favorably as long as it is positive in that FACEBOOK IS A PLACE TO BRAG ABOUT **** because facebook is like a high school reunion, and facebook is the closest I ever would get ot one, I'd rather die than go to one. I hated high school and I hate facebook too. everyone on facebook is superficial and trying to make their identity or image out of a couple website pages, not realizing that I already know that if I scratch beneath the surface I will find that their grass has been painted green and is in fact worse than mine, mostly because when you scratch beneath the surface of their grass there in only 1 inch of dirt and then a bunch of concrete, but mine goes straight down through endless la<x>yers... :)

Ugh, seeing people socially active on Facebook does make me depressed. I've tried being more social on it, but just like in the real world, it's awkward. I never know what to say or if I said the wrong thing. I always thought because Facebook is virtual and online that it would beasier to let loose and be more social, but it's no different from the real world. It seems like when I post things on there, nobody gives a damn and it makes me feel even more alone.

I felt that way about Facebook last year when some of my "friends" were posting all about vacations and new cars. I mean I guess they might seek approval by posting loudly about their material possessions. So Maybe it isnt us after all.

I feel you hon, I signed up for facebook, and recently I've been straying away from it. I have lost all my friends due to mental issues/boyfriend problems in the past. I thought going on facebook was a good way to maybe reuniting with some of them. It kills me inside reading all of my former friends posts. They're having so much fun, they have kids, moved on with their lives. They hardly acknowledge my existence on there. It hurts like a knife in my heart. I feel overpowered by jealousy and loneliness. It's been making me so anxious and depressed. I've just recently discovered my old best friend has turned into someone I don't even recognize. She goes out partying, is practically naked in pictures, and does drugs. It hurts to reminisce on the moments when she wouldn't even touch a beer or for that matter swear. I am turning twenty and know I'm young. Time flies by before your eyes. Life sometimes just hits you in the heart from out of nowhere, then where do you go from there? I feel your pain and your jealousy. I try to confide in God and seek faith. You are not alone. I am contemplating on whether I want to keep my facebook because sometimes it's just to much to handle mentally and emotionally. If you would like, you can add me to facebook, just message me if you would like to.<br />
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take care, and know that you are NOT alone on this hon xx

Yes - that is exactly right. I already have depressions & take meds for it. And Facebook triggers it or makes it much worse.

Right - most "facebook friends" aren't real friends. I haven't had close friends in a very long time. The one friend I could contact is busy more often than not. <br />
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I have also been using Facebook for marketing purposes, but do need to be aware that I most likely will not have anything there other than superficial connections.<br />
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As far as skype, it's on my to-do list to try to get up and running at some point. It kept crashing my computer and I haven't had time to mess with it or figure it out... Eventually I want to use Skype especially for business, but so far I have the same problems with business connections as I do with gaining friendships - people just don't want to have much to do with me.<br />
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I had one of my "business connections" unfriend me on Facebook recently. Since I don't handle rejection well, this was quite painful.

Have you tried contacting these friends in other forms of communications besides facebook?<br />
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Face book is a very casual and rather indifferent way to communicate. If you wish to show someone you care more, perhaps another form of communication may be better.