Me And My Mum

i honestly don't know how my mum does it, smiles with her fake smile at people talks in her professional sounding voice, yet deep down shes the root of all evil.

she has everyone fooled even herself i  think.  Shes the original Jekyll and Hyde.  We thought it was menopause setting in at first but then a decade and a bit down the track shes still a nut case.

She has to be in control of every god given situation, yet to the outside world this women is the victim of a daughter who let her down.  Well guess what ***** it was you who let me down, you who allowed me to grow up thinking that the violent fights between you and dad were normal when you would hit first!

Kinda sad when a little girl jumps out of her bedroom window to chase her daddy down the road because she doesn't wanna be with her mum.

The saddest part out of the whole thing is that i don't like who you are, yet for so many years I tried to be everything you wanted me to be and more.  You  just couldn't make that square peg fit into that round hole could you mum?

Conform you said, you made your bed now lay in it you screeched. Well guess what mum karma is on its way to pay you a small visit for all the heartache you caused me and my kids over the years. So sad i almost pity you!

AngelMercyless AngelMercyless
31-35, F
4 Responses May 14, 2010

I think you should let her go in peace; your own peace, that is.<br />
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Brought up in a similar situation, I saw all things bad and had a lot of bad things happen to me by my Fathers hand and by a Mother who was so empty because of my Father. It took me some time to figure out why my Mother never showed me any love or care. On the outset it all appeared that she didn't care ... the truth was, she was an emotional void and my Father created that in her.<br />
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You don't need to carry these bitter feelings of her and you don't need to carry on reminding yoursel of the past that is ugly; there is a better way to live with what you know and what you have rather than to constantly carry the bitterness.<br />
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I'm sorry. I know that you might not think this makes any sense and I could write a book on this very subject. It's just that in what I read in what you say, you being the victim lies at the forefront of your thoughts. I think there is a better way than to constantly be reminded of all that is bad and untrue. At the end of all of this, you don't have to justify what you know is right to anyone. Never feel you have to justify yourself ... and start setting yourself free from the bitterness. Let your Mom find her answers or dodge the truth; I believe she knows the truth ... she can hide from it, but, ultimately, she cannot escape from it.<br />
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Again ... I'm sorry if none of this makes any sense; it's difficult to explain the path I trod and came to a place where my life was about *me* and where I got to a place where *no-one's* feelings mattered enough to make me feel bitter anymore.<br />
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Take care; yourself, your young one and your partner.<br />
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It sounds like your mother is a downer masquerading as an upper. Control freaks often go for the young minds and try to live vicariously through them. But we are all exposed to this kind of crap in some way or other to some degree. Sounds like you have a handle on what is wrong and hopefully find some answers to the problems you are looking at.

The hardest and worst part for me with my mum, is although she shows her true colors people fear her for some unknowen reason, and tend to still place blame on me. Although i was far from the worst teenager out there, never tried drugs *pot* until my 20's i was forever being accused of things i wasnt doing.<br />
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I guess the worst day of my life was when she turned to me and said that my daughter was the perfect human she had my looks and personality with my brothers brain. My god it almost took my breath away as i stood stunned looking at the love i craved being just poured out onto my daughter.<br />
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This sadly put a wedge between me and my baby girl whos now 7, as i still hear those words that my mother hissed at me. My youngest daughter although to a different father, is completly ignored almost as though she does not exsist. I swear to god you dont do to your worst enemy what my mother has put me through.

I understand, my mother is the same way. For years my mother fooled family and friends. I ran away from home 3 times as a child and no one understood. Finally her true colors came out to everyone and then they finally saw what I had been dealing with for so many years. One of my main goals in life is to never be like her.