Likewise

Yesterday I spent the afternoon in the pub with two friends. one of either gender. The female is a new friend who I worked with and each time I meet her her niavty makes me cross. For two reasons.

Principly she is avery attractive and has a lot of male admirers. She claims she can not see this and wonders why so many males want to take her for dinner or to take her away for a short break " as a change of scene" or some such. It angers me that those people exist and that they are obviously taking advantadge of her for their own gain. She is 28 and falls for it nearly all the time. Its the last thing she thinks of as she belives that people like that who are so shallow actually exist

The second reason is that those people are just like me. And it was bought home yesterday when as a group we were talking about this problem. The male in the group flattered me by saying that normal guys like me and him are few and far between. He is married and has a happy life. I sat there and pondered the fact that someone noticed my act was working, that I could pull of being a 'normal' person who was a friendly person with no ulterior motive.

Some days it seems that the devil wants to tear my soul in two.
insomnia2007 insomnia2007
26-30, M
2 Responses Aug 5, 2007

The second reason is that those people are just like me. And it was bought home yesterday when as a group we were talking about this problem. The male in the group flattered me by saying that normal guys like me and him are few and far between. He is married and has a happy life. I sat there and pondered the fact that someone noticed my act was working, that I could pull of being a 'normal' person who was a friendly person with no ulterior motive.

sigh thank you for putting this into words

Hi, You sound as if you are struggling every minute. It seems you need "something" or several things to keep you on an even keel and if the dosage is not exactly right you have to work all the harder to maintain, normality, perhaps. <br />
I too feel as if I am floating to achieve this. And we are probably not "normal" by some peoples standards but we are normal of ourselves. Naming ourselves normal does not make the day to day struggle any eaisier, however when I realized that I am a "normal" I take myself out of the limited and obscure group of "abnormal". I feel the pain you are feeling. My life has not turned out beautifully and I was reared by a defecient, controling and self serving parent. I therefore now and have for my whole adult life attract persons that treat me as shabbily as I was in my childhood. In my quest to not put up with such treatment I find myself quite alone. However, I can not let my lonliness define my self worth. I am worthy of relationships with people who are respectful of me