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My Life

why dose life have to be so hard :'( as things are one small thing goes wrong and i start self harming or the person i like dose something or meets up with another lad and i start self harming :( i dont know how to stop im scared that i wont stop but im scared to give all my knifes and blades to some one so i can stop. its getting to the point in my life where it is part of my life if i don't stop soon i don't think i will ever be able to stop :'( i just need some one there threw it all to help me but know one can handle what im going threw when they start to realize how bad i feel and whats going on it scared them and then turn on me i only ever meet people on hear that understand and stick with me but they can only help so much as i will never get to meet any of them. i wish i could meet some one like me that understands and listens to me and never turns on me when something goes wrong. i always think i have found the person but then after one or two weeks that when it hits me i ent found them as they manage to hurt me or turn on me whats left in life for me now never manage to get the person i love i loose all friends at some point im think ugly fat no good at anything so im just a waste of space sooner of late my time to die will come i hope it is sooner :'(
elliottdudley elliottdudley 18-21, M 2 Responses Sep 9, 2011

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thank you :) and i live in the uk :) i dont know many people on hear from the uk "/ but it would be nice to <br />
meet some one threw hear and get along and just be mates :)

After what I have been through in life, I can help you, there really is not much you can do that would scare me off. I really don't care about looks, weight, age, what ever the stigma it does not matter. I only care about the person. <br />
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If you live close I kid you not, I can really help you, Where do you live in this world? One of my best friends was allot like you and fit your story here very well including being over weight by allot!<br />
He went from being on depression medications and near suicide to leading his own life, he lost ALLOT of weight, he has a wife, he makes a great income. <br />
He thought he was no good at anything either, I helped him learn that he was actually a very fast learner. <br />
This is why you can't scare me off, already helped on of my best friends though this. I have now known him for more then 10 years, we've never parted as friends. <br />
If you are dealing with a broken family, don't worry, you will not live with them forever. If you are having difficulty with your peers, you'll find later that it means very little in the end. Don't you worry what they call you now, it will have no purpose in your life later, believe me, my friend found this out. <br />
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Let's just work on you, it does not matter what other perceptions of you are, it only matters who you are becoming. <br />
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If we met, 2 weeks would pass, a month would pass, a year would pass, you would truly find that you will have not successfully scared me off.