The Sting Of A The Slap In The FaceWe had met online at EP and were spending many hours each week chatting. We had even progressed to video chats, one in particular lasted 8 hours. Although we were growing close, I hadn't revealed all of my personal information to her because I just don't give my information out to just anyone. I thought that after we had gotten to know each other better, I would tell her everything about me.
We were just friends, but after spending so much time with her and her children online, I began to see her in a different light. I liked her as a friend, and I believed that I could grow to like her even more - to the point where I could come to love her as my partner in life. That's right, the word "love" was creeping into my vocabulary again.
During our last conversation, when she told me that she would never get married again, she said it in a way that I will never forger. She looked right into the web cam with piercing eyes and said it in a tone that convinced me it was all me, as if she was letting me know that I would never be good enough. "I will NEVER get married again."
I can't fully explain it, but that was like a slap in my face. It wasn't a bad slap, per say. It was like a slap a corner man gives a boxer in between rounds to revive his fighter. Her slap woke me up to where I thought, "What the heck am I doing?" It wasn't too long ago that I was writing about the disaster of my previous relationship.
She had become an integral part of my day. I needed to interact with her, and I was falling for her fast. Just as abruptly as it all began, it ended. I want to thank her for being so blunt with me. Thank you for snapping me back to reality. I am a little saddened, because I had thought about her so much that I wanted to start a new life with her. It's not her fault; the fault is all mine. We were nothing more than friends, but still, for a moment, it felt like my heart was breaking.
Doggonnit 41-45, M 4 Responses 1 Jun 3, 2012