Stinky. Little. Bastards.

I spend alot of time offshore. These stupid little fish suicide themselves onto boats at god knows what hour of the night. And they stink. Real bad. Go find a fishmarket and hang out in back. They smell worse. You hear the buzz then the thump and flopping, but screw them, they can die on deck. I'm not venturing out of the cockpit unless there's a full crew on deck and the boat is lit up at night. No swimming for me at 2am, no sir.



These little bastards also have this keen ability.

You're on the wheel or staring off into the myriad of stars that you have out there horizon to horizon. Just as a note, being offshore at night is AMAZING. You've never seen so many stars in your life. Seriously. But those little *****. Lalalalala. Brain. Fuzzy. Off into space. Ahhhhh.

zzzzzzzzZZZTHUMP in the side of the head. It seriously SCARES THE LIVING HELL OUT OF YOU. WHAT THE HELL HIT ME IN THE HEAD **** WHAT THE **** FUCKINGSHITFUCKHEADPISSSHITFUCK.



Oh.

It was a flying fish.

You stupid little stinky ******.

Now my head smells bad.
anteye anteye
36-40, M
2 Responses Dec 7, 2006

omg!!! I'm laughing my friggin head OFFFF!!!!!!!!!! That little story should be published somewhere!! That's frickin hySTERICAL!!! I'm serious. That was a really cool thing to read....especially since I've never thought about flying fish for longer than a split second before in my life! And, they're such a part of your life!! And, the way you wrote about them!!! The whole thing played out in my head like a short film!! ROFLMAO!!! lol and, you're falling asleep.....lmao!! and it makes you really mad, too?!?! oh! lmao! I could see this whole scene as a skit on Saturday Night Live, or something. Thanks for the laugh, man.

Yup, they are ugly, too. Your story was interesting and made me curious, so I googled 'flying fish'. They said some species can actually gain altitude above the water and travel over 300 feet before re-entering the water. Getting hit in the side of the head out of nowhere, that would serioulsly bug the crap out of me. I had no idea.....