Skipping School The On First Day And The CatapultYesterday was suppose to be the day that I started school, but I decided I needed one more day so I skipped, and that got me in a lot trouble, but it was a fun day and the last day of summer vacation I will ever have so I thought I would share the story, but to really help understand how this whole thing came about we must start at the beginning.
As most of my friends know I dont attend a public school i have a private tutor who comes and teaches me and my sister, I wont go into details why we are homeschooled because thats a touchy subject with most people but lets just say my mom does not think very highly of public schools.
Each year my tutor makes a list of all the text books we will need and my parents pay for them and they get shipped to our house, my original play was to confiscate the books and dispose of them we couldnt do school work with no books right.
So the day that they were delievered I got the box while no one was looking and I threw the books down to the bottom of a very very deep stock tank (tank used to store water to fill up water troughs for animals to drink) those tanks are always kept full, ocassionally they are drained and cleaned but that doesnt happened but ever few years, so I figured my school days would be long over by the time anyone ever found them.
Well a week went past and my parents noticed the package never came they pay decent money for those textbooks and so my dad began searching to see if he could find out anything about what ever happened to them.
Sunday night much to my misfortune, my dad discovered that the package had been delievered to our house so he automatically assumed I had hid it.
My parents tried to convince me to tell them where I had hid the books but I refused, my dad didnt whip me but he did say if the books did not so up by Monday morning I would be getting it very hard: /
I then found myself faced with a bit of a problem if I turned the books in they might be mad because they are all wet, but if I dont he would whip me anyway. But after quite a while of thinking I found a loop hole :) he just said I had to give the books back he didnt specify what condition they had to be in whahahahahahahaha.
So monday morning I got my googles and a waterproof flash light and went for a dive.
The stock tank we have is maybe a couple thousand gallons, cows drink at minimum 30-50 gallons of water a day, and when you have a couple hundred head in the heat of summertime you have to make sure they get enough water.
I taped the flashlight to my googles, its really dark and murky in that tank actually pretty creepy you never know what else could be in there, and the water is ice cold, I swam around searching and every few minutes I would have to go up for air, after maybe half an hour i was able to retrieve most of the books, they were defiently soggy, my math book had slim starting to grow on it and the ink in my history book was starting to run.
I left them wrapped in the plastic and i think that actually might have helped the pages stay together tightly.
My parents are never amused when I find ways to twist and change their words, but oh well a kid has to survive somehow ha ha ha.
Both their mouths dropped open when they say the soggy water stained books, but they were late for a doctors appointment for a check up on my baby sister, so they didnt have too much time to yell.
I had got out of being punished well at least until they came home.
School for us begins at 8-o-clock sharp, we're suppose to be clean and dressed nicely when the tutor shows up. Hair combed and neatly tied back and wearing either a polo shirt or a button up shirt with khakis, dont see what the big fuss is I cant even learn in my own house without having to get dressed up :P.
I dont mind my tutor I guess he is a good guy he's been my teacher since 2nd Grade, but he is kinda like a know-it- all and kinda dorky so since this is my senior year I have decided that I need to think of a prank for him at least once a week, and I decided I wanted to use Hermie (my giant pet bullfrog.)
I thought him of all people might be fascinated with a bullfrog but no he was terrified, I set Hermie down on the ground and he hopped towards Patterson (my tutor) let out a girlish scream jumped and ran towards the door, ha ha ha ha ha ha I was rolling around on the ground laughing, after a few minutes I picked Hermie up and headed outside ignoring Pattersons threats about telling my parents I walked out, someone who runs away screaming after seeing a bullfrog is not a someone I think of to respect their authority.
I went down by the creek for a while and I watched the cows in the fields and brushed down my horse, played with my dog, took a nap in the hay loft and began working on a catapult, and before I knew it it was 4-o-clock and my sissy tutor was going home.
Now i will explain why I am building a catapult, well for starter it was my Ep moms idea to build it and then use it to launch stuff *cough,cough* primarily Erica's cat.
And speaking of that little rat she about gave me a heart attack..... I was busy building and i guess she saw me out the window so she came to see what I was up too, I was busy hammering in a nail on the fr
"Scram Pipsqueak", i was busy working and was not interesting in listening to any of her tall tales, of course she told me all about how her first day back to school went and blah blah blah.
But eventually she got bored and went to go play with her bunny and I could work in peace.
I made my catapult out of leftover materials I could find around the ranch, I looked up some designs online but bascially it just looked like a giant sling shot.
Now to cat lovers out there this is probably going to seem really mean but i am not fond of cats, for one thing i'm allergic and second i think they are EVIL!!!!!!! and I mean come on its a catapult, "cat" is right in the name.
We have a few barn cats around but they are pretty wild and wont let you get near them, Erica had a fluffy gray and white cat named Pewter, she adores him and does everything with him.
So I decided he would be the first victim, I opened a can of fancy feast, and within a few minutes Pewter came purring...........I grabbed him and carried him over to my handmade contraption.
I set him down in the little basket and got ready to send him flying..........most ordinary cats probably would have jumped out and ran away, but Pewter is used to Erica doing weird things with him, she has tea parties with him, he rides around in the basket on her bike, and she dresses him up in all sorts of stupid doll clothes.
I counted down from 5 and got ready to let loose the pole with the basket at the end that would fling Pewter into the next county if I was lucky........................5......................4..................3...............2.............1..........REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I let go of the pole and Pewter was hissing and yowling throughout the whole flight hahahahahahahahah I was rolling around on the ground laughing, Pewter flew maybe 40-50 feet, dont worry he landed on his feet and seemed unharmled.
I was still laughing when I heard half scream/cry "PEWTER ARE YOU OKAY!!!!!!!! ARE YOU HURT WHAT DID MEAN OLD LEXI DO TO YOU!!!!!!!"
Oh great...........Erica ran over to Pewter scooped him up and checked him all over making sure he was okay, I think he mostly just wanted to get away and find a hiding spot away from these crazy kids.
My stomach hurt from laughing so much, Erica was crying but then she looked up at me and she had the "i'm going to murder you" look on her face, she put Pewter down and charged towards me, she tackled me.......
I fought back I didnt want to hurt her I just wanted me to get her off me, so I could get away Erica is like a tazmanian devil when she gets mad : /
We rolled around for a few more minutes, I had rolled over on my back and almost got away, but Erica grabbed my hair and yanked it hard, I got her leg and was trying to drag her down when a big rough hand grabbed my by the arm and pulled me up.
My parents had just got home and they heard us screaming and yelling so they ran to scene to see what was going on, my dad yanked us appart and yelled "WOULD YOU GIRLS CARE TO EXPLAIN WHAT ON GOD GREAT GREEN EARTH YOUR DOING ROLLING AROUND FIGHTING!!!!!"
I knew I was going to be in big trouble when they found out what I had been up to that day, Erica was crying agian but she blubbered out "welllexilaunchedmypoorlittlekittywiththatstupidheapofjunkoverthereandsheskippedschooltodayandletafroglooseiwasjustfighingbecauseshescaredpoorpewtersoishouldntgetspankedsheisthebadkidnotme"
Both my parents looked a bit confused but my dad did manage to make out "launched kitty and skipped school" he already knew about school because Patterson gave him a call and my homemade catapult was enough explanation itself. he glared at me and pointed in the direction of the "I would like to have a word with you in my office NOW!!!" : / uh oh im really going to get it now, but at least I will only get one disipline session, I mean think about it, for the textbooks, for skipping school and launching the cat I only get spanked once, sounds like a pretty good deal to me.
My dad slapped erica on the butt for fighting with me, she was still crying and my mom walked her back up to the house lecturing about how "............ young ladies do not roll around in the dirt fighting........."
My dad cut a switch off the willow tree and we went in his office he told me to sit down and we were going to have a long talk.
And we did have a really loooong talk, well he mostly yelled, he was not happy at me taking a day off the first day of school and even though i do not like cats that was still really mean to both Erica and Pewter,and I know better than to treat any animal like that.
I sat quietly and listened, I know skipping school was bad but technially I didnt skip if technially I never started ha ha found another loop hole, and the catapult thing was bad too, but he survived cats always land on their feet.
After what seemed like hours but really was probably only half an hour, my dad told me to drop my jeans and lean up against the wall, I did as he said and prepared for the worst, and sadly to say I didnt prepare enough, I heard a "swish" sounds and then felt fire across my backside :( he gave me about 50 licks, 30 for skipping 20 for the catapult and my butt burning with welts when he got done and I had tears running down my cheeks, I tried not to cry too much but it hurt.
I got another brief lecture, "NO more skipping school or i'll double it and NO more picking on Erica's pets, do you understand???" I knodded "yes sir" he then told me to go to my room and start working on the homework my tutor had left for me, bascially all the lessons I should have completed during the day.
I wiped my eyes and headed to my room, I looked back and my dad was pouring himself a drink and praying out loud " Dear Lord please, let Veronica, be a quiet and well behaved child" ha ha ha I wouldnt hold my breath on that one.
So there is the story about my adventures yesterday, I showed up for my studies today and it actually wasnt too bad, and I did have some amusement, I put eggs on Mr. Pattersons chair ha ha ha he was explaining some math problems to Erica and didnt look when he sat down, all I heard was some loud "CRACK" and he lets just say he had an egg butt the rest of the day ha ha ha.
I know these pranks are a bit childish, but techinally this is my last year of being a kid so I have to make the most of it .