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Especially When They're Your "Friend."

This one girl gets on my last nerve. She's a friend of his. But she flirts with my boyfriend and asks him things that are none of her business. Of course though, when I'm there with him, she has NOTHING to say. But when I'm gone, all of a sudden she's concerned about where I am and such.


In the beginning, he acted completely blind to what she was doing. But now, he acknowledges it.

At first, she caused friction in our relationship. She invited herself over to his apartment to "study" alone with him (Bullshit!) He told me about it, and I told him that it was unwise, but if studying was needed, they could study in a public place. When he told her that, "all of a sudden," she couldn't come...

After talking about it, he agreed not to iniatiate conversations with her, but that if she called, he'd talk to her (to be nice, I suppose). In the beginning, that seemed to work. Until, she evidently talked to one of my boyfriend's friends about US, and then asked my boyfriend if we're having sex. (we're at a Christian college; sex is banned for obvious reasons).

Time has passed. And things are much better now, with me and her. But I still dont like her. For more than one reason.

In my world, I wouldn't want him to talk to her at ALL. However, I want him to be his own person. Furthermore, he's given me no reason to distrust him. So I'll keep trusting him. But I still don't trust her.
RitaRee RitaRee 22-25, F 4 Responses May 1, 2011

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GUYS I HAD ALREADY FACE THIS SITUATION.BUT THANKFULY ALL IS WELL NOW.BUT THERE WAS A FRIEND OF MINE WHO USES BOYS TO FULFIL HER REQUIREMENT.SHE HD A CRUSH ON MY BF BT HE WS NT INTRESTED IN HER.WHEN ME ND MY BF WERE IN RELATIONSHIP,THAT ***** USE TO CALL HIM UP ASK HIM TO MEET HER WITHOUT TAKING ME ALONG.MY BF DID IT THRICE UNTIL I GOT FRUSTRATED.THEN SOME SITUATUATION TOOK PLACE AND MY BF GOT TO KNW WHAT TYPE OF GIRL SHE IS.AFTER THAT HE NEVER MET HER.SO GUYS NEED NTT WOORY ABT CERTAIN THNGS CAUSE THIS GIRL R ******.THEY TRY TO BREAK OTHER'S RELATION AS THEY KNOW THEY CAN'T HV A PERMANENT ONE.SO D THING U NEED TO DO IS TO SIT CALMLY AND TAKE OUT D WEAK POINT OF YOUR BF SO THAT U CAN MANAGE THEM YOUR WAY.

what do you mean 'take out d weak point''?

it means jst obsrv yr bf nd see which behaviour of yours mks him gt damn concern abt u. fr example in my case he cn never see me quite or hurted.so usualy wt i use 2 do s,sit in front of him quitely nd mk him realise dat m hurt.once he gts damn concern,he starts listening to me wit full concerntration.so 2 convey your feeling 2 your bf,u shud 1st calm him down or else these boys doesnt care 4 wat we say as they think dat we stop thm to speak with another gal jst cz we r feeling jealous or insecure.

I am in a simular situation, there is a girl that openly slags me off to my boyfriend on facebook, i have told my boyfriend I don't like it when he talks to her because all she does is tell him he should break up with me. She always prys into our relationship, and asks him if our relationship is doing good, then goes on about how she is single, and how she is doing fine and he will too. It is getting on my last nerve and really upsetting me. I am happy others have felt like this, so I know im not crazy and not alone, he has other female friends, but they are all lovely to me, but this one girl is just doing my head in. I am glad others have managed to put their opinions through, so hopefuly all will be okay with my relationship :)

I agree with the girl above me, yes it is crazy to ask your boyfriend to have no female friends, but if there is a specific girl who is rubbing you hardcore the wrong way and you have reason to dislike her it is completely okay to ask and expect your man to stay away from her! Last year there was a guy who wanted to study with me every day, and was always messaging me, and was rude to my boyfriend. My boyfriend HATED him. Although the guy was my friend, when my boyfriend asked me to stop being friends with him, I respected him and ended the friendship with the guy. Sometimes you have to respect your partner in that way.

I have had this same problem, and still because of text messaging and all this other secret stuff you can do now it scares me still. I am sure she tries emailing him or calling, texting etc. Usually, if somebody rubs you this way, you're intuition is usually right. She sounds like a miserable, lonely girl with nothing else to do or look forward to in life. Don't let her bother you. I got to the point where I told my fiance, "I want you to have what you want. I am not here to change you, because I love you for who and what you are. But this can't keep bringing our relationship down. I'm sorry, it is really affecting us and the it isn't healthy for our relationship." The crazy part? The girl he was friends with had jsut had a baby and was married to some Italian guy! But she'd leave floirty comments on his facebook, etc. and totally ignore me. She'd never ask about me unless she was being nosy she would just ask his BROTHER about me and us and our relationship. You can imagine it drove me nuts. So I told my boyfriend it was her or "us". I told him I didn't want to share him with somebody else. I liked his friends, girls or not, who respected him and were always happy for him when he made accompolishments or encouraged him to follow his goals and dreams. This girl he talked to didn't do any of that, and when he was happy she'd put him down or make some smart comment. She thought she was ythe funniest person and if I left a comment for my fiance on his facebook or something, she'd always bud in and ignore me and top everything I had to say. She's extremely annoying. Anyhow, my fiance chose me over her, though. So I got my aswer. Sometimes you have to do what you feel is right. Asking your boyfriend for respect is NOT you trying to change him, it is for the betterment of your relationship. Don't deal with stuff if you don't want to or if it is negatively affecting you. You deserve the world, girl! :)) But it is your life. What works for me will not necessarily work for you but it soudns like you and your boyfriend are open and very communicative about it. If she sin't a good friend then your boyfriend should see this and let her go. Someone like that is jsut waiting for the chance to step in your shoes. Don't let her stand there and wait. She can go find her own romance somewhere else.