I Hate Him And I Fear Him

I fear god, I read all those holy scriptures- The Bible, The Gita, The Quraan, I liked them but somehow I don't want to believe in it. I think we humans deseve much more love than the God because we are not going to last forever. I feel God doesn't forgive. he gives us what we deserve. even if someone errs we don't kill him, but God will not wait to punish him with a cold heart. He doesn't give them chance to survive. He doesn't need to be loved. I only fear Him. I've no courage to commit any sins because I am afraid of the punishment he'd give me and I know how painful it is. I just want to love my parents, friends n all the humans on this planet, but not god. I think this attitude is never going to change now.

the reason I feel guilty about my errors is that I know I am not allowed to do these mistakes. I know those errors are not serious. the people around me make much more serious mistakes. n they don;t feel guilty. they are right because they are allowed. but when I do something wrong, I immediately suffer in some way and realize that even a smallest mistake is allowed from me.

No, I don't love God. He doesn't need to be loved. It's us humans who need to be loved. It's because of him, things are so complicated. Why? why not good people get good rewards and evils get punished? Why it's the opposite? If it's true, afterlife is the only way of justice. but what about this life? that's why I hate all fate and destiny and all these things.  


Titan007 Titan007
22-25, M
3 Responses Jul 12, 2010

john 3 16 says god loves us very much, he came as one of us, he is your friend, and he has already taken care of all your sins, and sorrows, he knows, just invite him to come in and be your friend, he already is, 2 cor 5 19 read it,
Isa 53:4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
Isa 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.


Isa 53:6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.
Isa 53:7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth.
Isa 53:8 He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken.
Isa 53:9 And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth.

Isa 53:10 Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand.


Isa 53:11 He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities.
Isa 53:12 Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

I'm still learning to navigate this site! Flowers, I loved your post! You really are so right on in all the things you said. When I go through my 'spells' ...happened not too often...but when something triggers those 'old responses' it sets me back for a number of days... Otherwise, I am doing fine and truly do believe in the same way you are talking about. Studying Zen has helped me a LOT. THANK YOU for your post.<br />
Titan, please hang in there. I promise you...you can let go of the FEAR. We sometimes have this distorted idea that if we "FEAR HIM" that "God" won't hurt us... this is mind trap. Been there, done that.<br />
Things WILL get better. I pomise you that. That's not pink fluffy talk..its real...Just keep WANTING them to, OK? OK!<br />
Hathortemple

Chaging your beliefs is probably the best ANSWER...but take it from me...at age 73, that THAT is easier said then done. I believe, as Mao Tsu Tung said: Religion is poison. ... although goodness knows Buddhism is the least self-threatening and there exists no idea of this religion "God" ...I go for months in which I am "OK"... but then things will return. At least I HAVE the belief that "This, too, shall pass" ... I believe all parts of our lives "stay" in The Whole of Everything ...but what I am working on is to DETACH from those 'past' ugly notions and thoughts. I do believe in a force that cannot be described. Religion is what has so distorted everything. This is perpetrated by the Powers That Be to keep us in FEAR...and thus more easily managed and controlled. Anyway, just my opinion. Even though this may sound so contrary to some of the things I've said...I DO believe with all my heart that there is SO MUCH love, joy, and beauty in Life...