God Is a Flippin Hypocrit, and a Chicken...
Theres nothing mysterious about the *****, firstly he commited the first act of infidelity- getting Mary pregnant with his magnanimous son- Jesus who thought ''I AM a gift from God...'', no wonder he got persecuted.
He says he'll only ''help those who help themselves'', which means, life has no favourites,, God does... God has good publicity, just like the old Bush administration- who ironically was in power 'cause he ''was a church-going man''
I've been spinally-injured for 5 1/2years now, before I had a fiance, great career, good looks, awesome physique, and the physical independence to do anything. now,
I'm unable to move, i'm overweight depite eating like a pauper, I get benefits- a pitence compared to preferred own day work. My depression that killed my engagement, I've no independence due to needing a carer 24/7. I can ride my bike anymore, or go the beach. My family suffered this for by feeling this everday
Here is an ode to my hate;-
Do I apologise for what i'm about to say..? its not for me to apologise about why i'm saying this, but that i'm not strong enough to stop myself saying this;
my pride, my ego, my character, are all hurt by the fact that i cannot be who i would like to be. why? because my efforts to become better than spinal injury have proven unsuccessful in their entirety. I have been forced to become reliant on people who, despite their professional capacity, dont actually care about me, or their resposability to me. I was always self reliant, independant, self aware and accomodating of all my challenges. Now in the shadow of that ability, i now stand before the world, aswell as any higher powers, as a broken man. a man devoid of his better qualities who made him 'him'... i stand now with an acute sense of helplessness, associated with embitterness which has stemmed from the fruitlessness of his efforts, and the apparant 'assistance' from a society that was supposed to result in a 'higher std of living'.
I wish, day upon day, moment upon moment, for 'my' life to be returned to me. Where i was loved, needed, and appreciated by not just family and friends, but by every one who met me. I inspired the best in people, i was looked upon as a 'special' person. now, i find myself a reclusive shell, unwilling to keep contact with friends who knew him, because i cant accept that my hurt, hurts them. it kills me to leave them, but it hurts even more not to be able to socialise with them, be with them, expect them to change their ways for me. its easier to leave than put them throgh this. i accept this shame and i'll pretend them away-its easier this way. i cant feel this pain alone anymore, its easier to just give them up. I now wish, day upon day, moment upon moment, for my 'life' to be extinguished...
I am alone, something has been taken away from me, it was the deepest part of me, made me 'me', ive done wrong, which ive paid for. i have regrets that i cant forget, ive paid my price for all that has been a result of my misdeeds. so why am i still suffering? struggeling? becoming that which i hate most? i hate me, i hate my life, i hate those whoare deemed neccessary to help me, i hate each one of them with such passion, that if it were actions- i'd personally slay each of their off-spring with such sweet and reckless abandon, and make them feel my pain, my loss, my helplessness... i'd relish every second of it and smile at their anguish. they deserve my pain, they all do...
im not where i belong, my home, my life, god????!!!! im tired, just take me away as i cant go on, i hate me... why would you make me, and my family suffer like this??? I'm filled with so much hate and weary regard for myself. i feel like my whole life was set up for an inevitable failure... so why was i created? am i 'lifes' ******* comic relief?? whoever is laughing at my demise is a bigger coward than i am. ****** face me headon who ever you are, then i can face you, and kill you slowly you misogynistic bastard. if 'we' ever meet, you will experience my forsaken suffering a hundred fold. guaranteed. i wont be kind about it
if you think you're so ****** powerful, strong, controlling?, then take my life you chicken **** coward. C'MONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN?????????????????????? think you're hard enogh to face me- take me down, rip me apart??? ****** try it.. hell will be the least of either of our problems, by the time my angers done, i'll be the next leader of hells army to bring god and 'his' heaven to its poetic knees. god better be ****** scared of me... satan will bow to me in fear, just cause hes a coward too.
im not religious but theres defintley a higher force at work, its govenor should be watching his back. he has some suffering to do. wheres his sacrific?
society may as well stick a gun in my mouth because it'd be cheaper
on their annual budget. i hate me. you've heard me at my lowest
damn you all as you laugh, i cant take it anymore, i've no strength left...
do your worst
it'l be back-
I HATE ME BUT NOT THE WAY I ******* HATE-ALL-OF-YOU!!!!!!!!
YOU WORTHLESS ******* COWARDS
If God had mercy or any remorse, he'd give me my life back...