As a 14 Year Old Teenager, I Hit a Girl :(

True confession that I am not proud of, but I can only chalk up to experience.  I was 14 years old and there was a neighbor girl, also 14,  who was screaming at me, making a scene in front of my friends.  I forget what started it, but she was letting loose pretty good and her face was within inches of my own, calling me fa***t...etc.  Without thinking, I smacked her on the side of her face and she ran home crying.

The next day, in school, boy did I pay the price.  I had about 6 different guys threaten me in school.  Later that afternoon, a kid got in my face, punched me first, and we brawled in the hallway.  We exchanged punches and within seconds a few teachers broke it up.  Shortly afterward, I was sitting in the school office with the other kid sitting on the other side of the room.  The police came and asked me if I wanted to file charges against the other kid, especially since a teacher had heard earlier that some kids were threatening me.  So, here I was, my face had some minor cuts from the kids ring, I was jumped in the hallway by this kid who clearly wanted revenge for the girl. 

At age 14, I realized right there and then how completely foolish and wrong I felt for smacking the girl the day before.  At age 14 it dawned on my just how vulnerable the girl was and regardless of what she said to me, I needed to just let it go....

To this day, I remember telling the cop "no, I won't press charges, I had it coming and I deserved it".

25 years later I have never since put an aggressive hand on a woman, nor have I threatened to.  When those situations have come up, I remember how foolish I had felt on that day at age 14 and I simply walk away.  I may argue my point, but it has not and will not come to my using force against a defenseless woman.

InTheNameOfLove InTheNameOfLove
36-40, M
72 Responses Jun 9, 2008

A lot of women want that response from you, if a woman ever starts that I'd run not walk away.

... ...

In my opinion as a female... The ONLY time it is ok to hit a woman is if she hit you like a man first. At the point, if you have tried to walk away, or get out of the situation then you can hit her back. But at 14 cause she was making you feel bad in front of your friends, that is so weak *** ****. But at least you learned something from it and hopefully other people will too. Thank you for your honesty in sharing your story though.

I've been there too. Honestly I'm disgusted that I did that, but I have long since made it right, and have most definitely learned from it.

You cannot control the actions of another person, you can only control your own. How you respond to a threat is up to you, but I would suggest gauging your response in relation to the gravity of the threat. If there is an imminent threat to something like your physical well-being, you must try to determine how far your attacker will go and make certain you incapacitate them, avoiding physical harm **if possible.** This can only be ba<x>sed on your own life experience. Then you can respond accordingly, and with moral purity. When seconds count, more mistakes are likely in judgment. We develop our reflexes ba<x>sed on how we learn to interact with the world around us. That is why awareness is very important rather than getting wrapped up in emotion. Commit to logic and reason and you will keep your clarity.

Only joining the conversation quite late, I made have been usurped by other speakers. But here is tuppennyworth...<br />
<br />
I have a certain threshold on smacking anyone who is offering me physical violence - being tiny, I always try to joke my way out of it, with moderate success. However, if a woman was trying to repeatedly hit me, kick me and generally trying to inflict damage on me, I would not stop the fact that she was a woman from preventing her from wounding me if I had the means to do so. Violence begets violence and I don't think it should be gender-biased. Some women are bigger and stronger than me. <br />
<br />
The original speaker's intent is one of self-recrimination and it is worthy. The bigger issue is - should the tiny majority of men who are beaten by women not respond in kind just on the basis of gender? I welcome your critique. <br />
<br />
Thanks<br />
<br />

I had a abusive boyfriend when I was 14 and I dated him for two years...I guess I finaly reliezed that it wasn't love. I'm glad you learned your lesson though, and you seem like a great guy today :-)

my God was a sanctimonious load of waffle. child hits other child shocker? pathetic.

I read this and I was touched!!! One Of the sweetest stories I have ever her:)

I think that hitting girls is just wrong!! I am a girl myself and I could say I have been hit by guys many times before and yes I did fight back! I won't take crap from anyone, whether your a guy or not I will defend myself. Woman are not weak or scrawny or helPless but when it comes to men hitting us its just not right. Woman should be treated with respect<br />
not treated like a dog or some kid on the street

We all make mistakes, and you have completely owned up to yours in a way most people would be too prideful to do. Good job, and I think you seem like an amazing man, willing to own up to his mistakes. Women hate being called defenseless, but let's face it. Men are physically stronger than women in most cases, and due to this fact they *generally* don't stand much of a chance in a physical battle against a man. Women shouldn't hit men either. Just because it is abusive to the psyche.

Im not a small or timid guy and I would not hit 99.9% of women <br />
But i know violent and nasty women who would gladly put me in hospital if they thought i wouldnt hit back. <br />
So i just judge people indivdually there are some softy guys i would never hit and some women i would

Having seen real domestic violence in my life, I know all too well that it is no laughing matter. However, there is a world of difference between a truly defenseless (and non-aggressive!) woman being stalked, beaten, or otherwise terrorized by some as$hole that she was unfortunate enough to let into her life, and the girl you describe, who sounds like an absolute idiot. Quite frankly, the rule about never hitting a woman, in my book, only applies to women who are not deliberately abusing that very rule. A woman who gets up in someone's face, screaming, cursing, and insulting, sorry ladies, is begging to get the $hit slapped out of her. The only difference between that situation and a guy doing the same thing is that with a guy, you hit with your fist.

Sounds to me like you both had it coming :D

Screw that girl man she sounds like a ***** and deserved getting hit

Great story.<br />
This story made me feel hopeful for other men out there who have made a mistake like this.

Thats great! I'm so happy that experience tought you how fragile girls really are :)

welldone wish all men were like u :(

It's guys like you that give me some hope that your gender is completely stupid. :)

Yeah we all make mistakes. I too believe we shouldnt hit women. the only girl i ever hit was my little sister but he faught like cats and dogs. but i swear sometimes women do things that make us want to knock the hell out of them but as much as they press up to do so we cant. its all good.

Dear brother.<br />
I never have hurt a girl that way, but i realises seeing something like happen <br />
at somewhat the same age. <br />
I wish more boys will realise the same, and too that girls try and understand that we care for you too.

Your lesson was wise and you accepting it was wiser. Though I still think that the girl should've had some more control of herself, naturally of course anyone in anyone's face is going to be challenaged, You however did the right thing in the end by never allowing yourself to hit a female. That girl needs to learn a valuable lesson as well.

Dude. Women can become cops, join the army, run for president, and you think it's wrong to hit them because of their sex organs? That position in and of itself is the most sexist thing I ever hear. Of course you should never hit anyone, especially someone weaker than you. But to say you "can't hit a woman" is degrading to the female sex. I had a similar experience, much younger than you were, where I was attacked, overpowered my aggressor, and was subsequently shunned. "Chivalry" is just the game guys play when they're trying to get laid. Women, if you want men to respect you as equals, you must stand up to them as equals. From your story, InTheNameofLove, it really sounds like she wanted to get hit (I see that ALL the time, as I live in a predominantly black neighborhood--and if you think that's a racist comment spend some time in a black neighborhood). If not, it's sexist ideas like these that make these types of women feel they're immune to physical repercussion. Whether you're an adult attacked by a child, or a grown person attacked by a midget, if your personal space is being violated, you need to defend yourself. If it happened how you said it happened, it sounds to me like she was testing your limits, and she found them, like when a four year old throws a tantrum until they get smacked. Get over your guilt, believing women should never be struck under any circumstances implies that you think of women as being less than men, as defenseless victims in need of guidance and protection. Women, if this is what you want our still male-dominated society to think of you, then keep having men fight your battles.

It's sexist to not hit a woman just because she is a woman. My general rule when trying to find how I should handle a situation is do role reversal. "What would I did if this man/woman was a woman/man?" If I would smack a guy one, I would have to smack a girl one, just to be fair. But, it works both ways. If my girlfriend wants a guy to stay over at our home, I have to ask what I would say if it were a woman. It keeps things fair and balanced. It affords men opportunities as well as women. The fact is, it is no secret that getting into someone's face can get you knocked out. I would have to be saying that women are more stupid than men if I didn't oblige. Also, I have never had to hit a woman in my life and rarely a man. But if either puts themselves into that position, they will learn not to in the future.

Heyy, i suppose its fair[not good, not bad either] when you are about 14 and hit a girl... its not what you did was wrong. But its how you interpret it and move on. <br />
If you had made it a thing to be proud of, then it would be wrong.<br />
But you took it as a lesson, never did so again. So I'd say it was a good deed you did back then :)

Look if a guy attacks a girl its a different story. He should bear the brunt of the law. However if its man to man or girl to girl a compromise can be reached. Words can be more hurtful than punches and im sure that lil **** you knocked back in the days we'll think twice before she opens her rotten mouth again. So well done at that.

It's for the sake of guys like you that girls should let up on guys a little. Whether the woman you encounter are defenseless or not, your respect will pay off and is appreciated.

While I believe that there is never an excuse for physical abuse (or any other type), I also have to agree with cinnamonapple that everyone has the right to defend themselves, regardless of the sex of their attacker.<br />
<br />
My fiance once stopped to speak to a girl who had been in his class at high school, only for her to pull a knife and demand his wallet. Violence goes both ways; it is definitely wrong to assume that the man must be the aggressor.

I love your story. It makes me only because I feel like a "defenseless woman" my brother intimates me a lot (I'm 17 5'4" and 130lbs, he's 5'11" and atleast 250lbs.) He has physically pushed me right infront of my mother and she didn't do anything about it at the time she just walked away. Later she talked ot him about it but the fact that he got angry over something that wasn't offensive and didn't even concern him (he admitted this himself later) I'm so sick of getting pushed around by guys even when I was in public high school a pack of boys pushed me around in the lobby infront of everyone and no one did anything and the school said they didn't get it on camera. And the principal told me I got pushed around because of my looks. (Saying I looked like a nerd).<br />
<br />
Sorry I guess that just refreshed some painful memories for me.

I agree with NeonBlueMidnight's opinion. She was certainly attacking you and she totally deserved it! It was just a smack anyway, not a full on beating! The amount of boys that gave you trouble for it says good things about them. It's a good experience because you learnt from it. It's wonderful that you can admit to it. Thanks for having the confidence to share it with us!

that was a long time ago. you shouldn't feel guilty about that. you were a teenager and you were upset. you didn't mean to either. i'm thirteen and if a boy hit me i would of course feel sad but if there was a reason behind it i could understand.

I know I'm a minority here, but I think you were perfectly within your right to slap her face. But I believe in equality. You bet your *** if you got in a woman's face and started calling her a ***** you'd get a slap for your trouble, and somehow that's ok with everyone. Hell, you can get a smack if she doesn't like your pickup line, and no one will bat an eyelash!<br />
But scars from emotional abuse like being labelled a ****** can be many times more painful, and can last a lifetime, I don't think you should've felt the least bit sorry for standing up for yourself.<br />
As for the moronic self appointed guardians of the status quo that were giving you trouble at school, talk about hypocrisy. That's like saying, violence is okay when you do it in someone else's country, but it's a damn tragedy when someone shoots up their school. It's pretty obvious what country you grew up in, and it makes me sick, the kinds of double standards that you're expected to swallow.<br />
In a nutshell, she was the aggressor. You were defending yourself from a verbal assault. We can say that words are harmless, but tell that to a 14 year old who gets called a ****** at school because he failed to stand up for himself. I'd take a few retards wanting to fight me in the hallways any day than to have to go through school like that. You didn't try to harm her, you were making a very simple statement, and you shouldn't have felt the slightest bit apologetic.

There is a paradox here. Women want equality, which is only right. However, according to somethings I have seen, women get away with a lot. <br />
Take divorce for instance. A few (unsubstantiated) words from a woman to a policeman will have a man removed from his home & forced to live in his car. <br />
On the other hand, this is paybacks from the 1950's when men pretty much did what they pleased unscathed.

hmmm sounds like she deserved the slap if you ask me!<br />
it goes both ways. guys get bad press for hitting girls..but some girls hit guys too. <br />
anyone who gets in anybodies face is asking for trouble.<br />
im not saying im for violence, i just think people should appreciate 'your space'.

You are so so kewl. The world will be a much better place if there were more men like you who will admit their mistakes.

I would like to remind people of a subject called gender equality<br />
I don't care WHAT you've got in the pants, If I ever really feel the need to throw a punch I will.<br />
Having said that I'm a pacifist, but the point remains.

This reminds me of me being in junior high, and a really snob, stuck up girl was really mean to me, called me names or laughed at me or something like that… <br />
I don't remember what she said, and what I eventually answered, just that I tried to be a man about it and not even verbally respond, but when I had eventually, she got so angry she tried to kick me in the nuts! <br />
LOL that's the most dangerous move a girl can result to (I am sure some guys here will agree haha)<br />
Anyway, after a couple of times that she tried to kick me there, I decided it wasn't productive for my future baby making capabilities so instead of attacking her, I resulted to grabbing he by the leg and holding her leg up, so she couldn't kick me again.<br />
It was hysterical, she was there, standing with one leg on the ground and the other way up, unable to retaliate... I told her to stop and I would let her go, but instead she tried to kick me again, which ended with her falling on her *** xD<br />
she was so shocked and confused about the realization you can't kick someone with one leg up, she just sat there as I just left her there and left the class... although I do remember feeling uncomfortable that she fall, as I didn't intend her to fall like that, and felt sorry for her, and that it would have been better if it didn’t go down like it did.

What else could you have done. You were in a no-win situation. At the very least you didn't physically assault her and it was your quick reflexes that were the result of her undoing.

Has anybody stopped to ask the question with all these stories with a common thread of girls attacking guys, where did they learn that behavior especially since it has been proliferating in North America for the past 20 years or so. Make you wonder , huh?

Some 14 y/o's are viscious little monsters that think they own the ball park and will stand in line to prove it.<br />
<br />
You were in a no-win situation. Smack her and shut her down, or walk away and look weak. Either way, you lose and she wins. <br />
<br />
So you smacked her.<br />
<br />
What do you tjhink SHE learned from it?

great story, that must of took some balls to confess this story and admit you was wrong. :D

Who says he was wrong?

i agree it wasnt right for you to hit her in that instance specifically. imo, you shouldnt resort to violence unless you have to.<br />
<br />
<br />
but i dont agree that its never acceptable to hit a girl. they say they want to be treated as equal to men. <br />
<br />
but at the same time many of them seem to have this expectation that they can do whatever they want, including beating the crap out of a guy, and have the guy just take it, and not deck them in the face like they deserve, and like theyd get if they were a guy.<br />
<br />
and THATS a crock of ****.

My exact same thinking. You can't expect to be treated as equal to men when you play the gender card for your convenience.

I feel your pain, bro...........

You learned, at an early age, a very important lesson.... and it stuck with you. If only more adults would learn the same lesson this would be a less violent world. All my best to you.

As a woman who enjoys chivalry and respect, I would prefer a man to be non-violent toward anyone and everyone because it's right, not just toward women because he thinks we're "defenseless and vulnerable".

I hit a girl once.I was 13 and she was 15.She tackled me and repeatedly punched me in the face and clawed at me with her nails. Then I was the boy who got beat up by a girl,AND the boy who hit a girl. This all started because I said she was traveling in a game of basketball. <br />
<br />
Modern Chivalry makes as much sense as granting the suicidal coke-addict mom custody in a divorce simply because shes the mom.Oh wait,that doesn't make sense.<br />
<br />
I'll practice chivalry as soon as a woman gets sued for sexual harassment.

Wow, cool story :) In my opinion at the same time though, that girl should have also demonstrated some sort of self control herself but I guess when your young sometimes that can be difficult. I'll admit even when you get older self control can be difficult. I hope that girl never got in someone's face like that again. I hope she learned too from that experience.

InTheNameOfLove: I applaud you for sharing your story. It was a lesson learned the hard way, but learned none the less. Your second comment was very correct. Women are not defenseless, but men do out power women.<br />
<br />
I go by the rule: There are no winners in a fight, only losers.<br />
<br />
Peace, Love and Respect..

InTheNameOfLove, first off, I like your name.<br />
second, I appreciate you admitting and learning from hitting a girl.<br />
third, I thoroughly agree with EP, your chivalry is greatly appreciated, but not all women are defenseless. I'm exactly the same height and 10 pounds heavier than your ex wife, yet if I guy, or girl, hits me, I hit right back. In fact I've had people of both gender and different ages tell me that for such a tiny girl I am quite strong.<br />
I know it will really come in handy if I ever walk down a dark alley ^^ =P<br />
But what I love doing is teasing my guy friends, and when they look at me with the I'm-trying-not-to-smile look and say "I should hit you" I just LOOVE going "I know, but you can't, cuz I'm a girl" XD<br />
sorry I know I'm a little mean, but I'd never be as mean as that neighbor girl unless I was incredibly pissed off, and even then I'd never call someone a ******, simply because gay guys are awesome and should not be used as an insult, evar. ^^

Thank you for shareing you story.<br />
I injoy read it.<br />
<br />
like one said . It took a Man to share that.<br />
<br />

Personally, and as a female I say she deserved being smacked. There is a difference between someone getting in your face and being a ***** and calling you a ****** and being cruel to you and PMS-ing in your face and giving her a hard smack across the face and a guy who punched a woman and kicked her in the stomach just because she over cooked the roast.<br><br />
<br><br />
Good job man :-) If i was there I would've laughed at her. I don't get why girls think it's alright to get up in someones face and holler and expect NOT to get hit.

That is so true. Don't get the 2 situations confused as the same. There is the difference between a girl getting in your face begging to be hit and a Domestic Violence case. The first case, all bets are off with her being a woman and the second case is that man deserves to be punished. It is women like that in the first case who hurt the cause and credibility of actual abused women.

I think you have shown your a decent man but I want men to know if a woman attacks you its ok to protect yourself I'm a woman who thinks the previous comments are totally right

"A misbehaving child is a discouraged child."Notice the things your daughter does that are helpful, the times that she is happy, and mention them to her. One of the best ways we can encourage children and teenagers is to have them contribute more to the household. Consider having her helps our more. If she resists(and she might especially if she hasn't been doing much around the home), consider going on stike in a few areas of household upkeep until she helps out.<br><br><br><br />
---------------<br><br><br><br />
Mobin<br />

hope you didn't hit her too hard :)

I think it's more important that we realize we should strive not to use force to resolve arguments, and also we should take into account the ability of someone to defend themself before you choose to hit them.<br />
<br />
I hit a girl once, and it was a light hit. No chance of damage. Despite her having it coming, she still took the opportunity to get me in trouble because of it. On the other hand, I have been attacked by both guys and gals who were tougher than I was, and it was by their mercy that I was not injured.<br />
<br />
Some women deserve to be hit, as do some men. But some women and some men in many situations really don't deserve it at all. It seems unfair to me that this would be placed solely on gender, black and white, because I once was in a situation where I was threatened by a girl much stronger than I was, and on the other hand was threatened to be hurt if I made a move against her, ie. defending myself. It's absolutely ridiculous.

It isn't right for anyone to hit. Plain and simple, men hitting women, or women hitting men. Anger should never be let out against anyone else.<br />
Now that being said, I applaud your great wisdom, at an early age, and your great wisdom as a parent, you get cudos from me. those who remarked other than this...should re visit their own ideologies

You were very wise as a 14 yr old. And I'm impressed with who you are today. What really excites me is how your passing this moral on to your son, along with honesty. Hopefully this will continue to reach generation after generation. Thanks for sharing.

You are brave to be so honest, and smart for learning for your mistakes, thanks.

those dudes were her friends?

Great story. Showed real cajones (courage).

I'm sorry, I don't what sex you are, but if someone gets your face it becomes a defensive move to protect yourself. For all you know, she could have hit you first, so, as a female, all I can say is this: good for you. You had every right to defend yourself and at that point, smacking her upside her head might have been the only choice you have. <br />
Now, I'm not saying just go around putting the smack down on anyone, regardless of what gender they are. <br />
However, not all women are weak, vulnerable or defenseless, do not confuse us all with some little wimp who couldn't take a smack upside the head. I've gotten into worse scraps with guys than that and walked away.

I agree with you. It is a defensive mechanism to defend yourself no matter what sex is doing the initiating.

I also agree with that you can't be living in a world where you have to put the smack down on everyone who crosses your path because who wants to live in a world like that?!?

I also agree with you saying not all women are weak, vulnerable or defenseless. I've met a couple of women who gave of a vibe that intimidated me (and I am over 220 pounds!) so let's not go writing off all women as defenseless creatures.

By the way because most men are physically stronger than most women, it does not mean that women are inferior. That's just stupid male chauvinism talking. Women can be strong, cunning and resourceful also, and I get that feeling about you (and I say that with the highest respect!).

Thank you all for your kind words. I have shared that story with my teenage son on several occassions. He may argue and fight with me all the time, but he never disrespects his mother nor his older sister.

i don't know whose fault it was that started the conflict when you were 14. as guys, no matter how angry we are, or the girl is a b*tch, we can never ever lay our hands on them. i feel equality between the sexes has not been achieved, after all: how fair can women rights be if our rights as guys are also compromised? Thus, we should excercise restraint as gentlemen, it would also reflect greatly on your strength. but don't worry, you were only 14 and just kids, after all we are still learning...

It took real guts to do what u did and i admire ur bravery.

I've had a lot of experience helping DV victims. I've seen some bad stuff. But what most people either don't know or don't want to admit is... MEN GET BEAT, TOO. <br />
I'm married to a man who was badly beaten by his ex for six years. When I met him, all his clothes were ripped up, I mean ALL of them, from her. He has scars all over his body from her hitting, punching, throwing things... His lips, eyes, and cheeks have been split open multiple times by the diamond ring he gave her.<br />
He never hit her or hurt her back. He bought her expensive gifts to try to make her happy. Not only did it not help, but she treated the gifts like they were garbage.<br />
There's more, and worse, to the story.<br />
But my point is, there are limits to what anyone, including women, should be allowed to do. HARM NONE.

its an unwritten rule that hitting a woman is a display of weakness. It saddens me when this is taken advantage of to discredit a mans reputation and to break his spirit.

Not comments till not listen the ture views but If any mistake in your 14 year age so is not a your Mistake is mistake your Parents who not care the her childs <br />
Till not comments

cinamonapple i agree that it is'n fair that women get away with more then men

I wish everyone could learn from their experiences like you did! It's encouraging that so many people stepped up to defend her (if bad for you) when, as people get older and especially married, they are less likely to admit being hurt or go for help. I am glad you will never endanger someone that way and hope your example has led others.

it sounds like she made you feel quite threatened your fight or flight response made have went off because your senses were telling you that she was going to strike you forgive your self.sounds like you learned from an experience thank you for sharing it with us

hey, you are a real man!

That's bulls**t! Everybody on this planet at one time or another deserved to get their *** kicked (Save Jesus Christ). From Ghandi, to the Pope and even Mother Theresa. We have all done things that deserved corporal punishment. Now I am not talking about domestic violence or violence against women, because if anyone laid a hand on my mom or my sister I would want to deal with them; but let's face it, using your gender as an excuse to say and do crap to another person is just as bad as a man using his physical dominance to tyrannize and control women.

I don't want to live in a society where brute force is resorted to but you have to be accountable,accept responsibility, and be ready for your own actions if you do not treat people humanely.

There are a lot of women out there who feel that they can say or hit a man freely without any repercussions, but those same women would not cross that line with another woman who was bigger and stronger than her...Why? Because that woman knows that she would get her *** handed back to her and she can't claim the "You can't hit me, I'm a girl!" defense against another woman.

As for the men who say unequivocally, "You should never hit a woman" I do not trust because they are either lying or trying to conform to being politically correct. If you were supposed to survey men about have you ever felt like hitting a woman and we answered honestly, almost 100% of men would say YES, but what stops most of us is a combination of our ethics/morals as well as fear of legal repercussions. However most people do not want to hear the truth so we have to hide behind a veil of political correctness and say what the public wants to hear and not what is reality.

You and this society have your definition of 'A real man" but was is your definition and criteria of being a real woman? You also have to be respectable and non-abusive in your own actions and dealings otherwise men will never consider you to be their equals and respectable and upright women will despise you for bringing your entire female gender down.

So it's up to both men and women to act respectable and humanely to each other accordingly in that we can coexist peacefully because we have to live with each other for now until the end of time.

i definitely admire the courage to admit that you were wrong in resorting to physical violence, but i still think it's unfair that women can get away with so much more than men.<br />
<br />
in middle school once, there was a boy with a broken arm and a cast and a girl threw him on the ground but wasn't punished. if it had been the other way around, surely the boy would be in trouble<br />
<br />
i just think it's unfair that you ended up paying for something the girl started. you know?

She might of roared at him but he hit her she was 14 so it must of bind a mood swing

This is a great story. Takes a man to admit, accept and move on on. And at such a young age to act as you did afterwards is impressive. You should be proud of yourself...

Thanks EP.....not all women are defenseless, but in many cases they example is my ex of a 15 year marriage who is 5'2" and 100lbs compared to me at 6' 2" and 210 lbs...not defenseless, but not much of a fight either.

Mmm... I'm not sure we're "defenseless," entirely, but your chivalry is definitely appreciated. =D