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Son of An Abused Woman

This has to be the one thing I hate the most in the world and one thing I would end up going to jail for if I saw it on the streets.

I think it all started with my mother well I know it did. Her first marriage way before me was crap. Very abusive not only verbally but physically and not just for her but for my older sister. It really messed my mom up and from that day forward she has never been in a healthy relationship and fought to keep it (though she will for those losers who hit her.) Now I have long given up on my mother but I didn't always use to be like that.

My first expierence was when I was about three. It is one of my first memories and is my first memory if you take out the ones of my grandfather. I was walking around the house looking for my mom. I remeber hearing her screaming. I went to her bedroom and opened her door. There is here husband (not the first one) beating the crap out of her and what I can only assume now analy raping her. The little ***** heard me and turned around and asked me to go get him a washcloth. Not understanding what was going on at the time I did. That was husband number two.

Husband number three was a good guy. She drove him away. Husband three was probally worse then number two though. I was about 6 or 7 at the time. My mom had just come back into my life and gotton remarried. I had my own room at her place it was nice. Then the beatings started. Everyone though I didn't kow what was going on. I would sit in my little room hear him throw vases hear him beat her. Yeah sometimes she pushed him (not saying he should of but you know where a woman tests a man to see if he will do it and a real man will just smile and walk away or say sorry honey I was wrong no matter how right he was) Then several hours later she would come into my room after she was done crying and worked up the story. Funny thing is she always tried to say something that didn't fit. Like I fell down the stairs in a one story house or I slipped in the shower even though I haven't taken one since getting bruised up. I never let on to her that I was wise.

Now we move to husband number 5. In some ways this was the worse one ever. He never raped her but it is highly likley he tried to kill her with an O.D. I was about 12 at the time. This was the first man I ever stepped up and took a blow for. I forgot what started it. I knew he had been beating her but he never did it in front of me. Well one day him and my mom got into it. I saw him raise his fist back (fist not hand) and I pushed my mom out of the way and took it to the jaw. I must say the guy hit like a girl considering he couldn't knock a twelve year old out. Needless to say she actually walked out of that relationship rather quickly in fact the attempted suicide/murder was a week after that and she was gone a week after she got out of the hospital.

I will only bring up one non married beater in regards to her. It was a couple years after the guy above. The guy was a lazy bum. He was faking disability to get unemployment (yeah unemployment not even worker's comp) I don't know if this guy ever beat her and some people might laugh at this but at 14 I was maturity wise where most 20 year olds are especially on the agression factor. Well him and my mom got into it and he started threatening her.

I told him to not speak to her like that. Instead of realising he was wrong he put his cane in my face. Told him if he didn't get it out of my face immediatley I was going to take it out of his hands and beat him into a bloody pulp with it. He hesitated I snatched the cane whereupon his disabled *** ran out of that house faster then an able bodied person could (remeber he was faking) I threw the cane at him as he cursed from outside the house a couple hundred feet away. and he never came back.

I must add in why I gave up on my mom these stories are just the worse. Shortly after that boyfriend about a year later my mom met a man. Not a punk but a man. This man cared so much about my mom he sacrificed his relationship with his kids(his kids hated her and he wouldn't leave her.) The man was hard working and my mom was expierencing medical problems. He was working twojobs to make sure the bills would get paid. Can you guess what she did? five years into their marriage when she realised the man was going to fight to keep her by his side and not let her walk away or destroy the relationship she brought another man into the home a scumbag no less and screwed him in the bead then layed naked on the couch with the guy until her husband came home. No nothing bad happened on his part he started setting up to leave and left her ASAP. And that scumbag yup another beater.

I guess the morale of the story is no man should hit a woman, but the woman also has to be willing to help herself and just get out. If you want to get out tell a man. Many of us know how to bury a body deep enough no one will ever find it and you the woman can go find someone who is worth you. Sorry if that was really long but as you can tell I have seen my fair share of it and thought I would share.

 

Karalas Karalas 26-30, M 7 Responses Nov 15, 2007

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My brother and I took the physical abuse and the verbal abuse, all our mother took was verbal abuse. She never once stepped in to protect one of us. I haven't spoke to her or HIM in more than 4 yrs. If I never see either of them again, it will be too soon. My brother is in a better place now and has been for many years. I will never forgive them for what we were put through. I still have nightmares and still have severe trust issues. I often cry for no reason, or because a memory manages to creep in. I can honestly say I know your pain and understand the feeling of hopelessness as my mother chose HIM over her own child. I wish you peace and happiness. I also hope you will heal.

i know what that like i grow up with my father beating me and my mother and my neghbor beating me witch that was my own doing tho it save my bestfriend for geting the beating. anyway no you should never give up on her after all she did give you life even if it was a fcked up life i did the same as you did but i took the beating tell i was 16 for my mother.

I am sorry for you. That was a very difficult and dagerous way for your mother to have raised you!! MEGA HUGS!!

I have a little boy and have been single for a while because I am scared to death to get involved with another abusive guy. Your story is helpful, i would rather be alone than risk that for my own son. However i still dated his dad for a while after we split and he was still very emotionally abusive. That is worse than any physical abuse ever. Ill tell you what, each time a part of you dies a little. By the time your mom went through her final relationship with a good guy, all the love she ever had for herself was gone. That part of her died long ago, and she probably never tried to get it back.

Thank you for sharing with us. I'm sure your mum regretted her stupidity when she had a good man but screwed up.

Amlyn, have you gone to anyone for help or called the police? If not, please do...you're ex is dangerous and is showing obsessive behavior. Get a restraining order and if he's doing anything that even remotely resembles stalking behavior (following you, threatening you if you talk to other guys, sitting outside your house-or anywhere you might be- watching you), call the police. There are stalking laws to protect you. Oh, and if you get a restraining order and he breaks it even a little, have him arrested immediately...and don't fall for "I need to talk to you"...a couple of weeks ago a young lady in my town had a restraining order against her ex-boyfriend and agreed to talk to him...he shot and killed her right in front of her family. Please don't take chances...if you were my daughter, I would want you to come to me for help...I can be fairly certain, your parents would want to know too, if you have not talked to them.<br />
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Blessings,<br />
<br />
--Stygia

ok im not having a moan or anything but....<br />
im 16 and in the last 2weeks i have taken up 2 5 beatings off an ex boyfriend who refuses to forget me.<br />
and i have gotten out of the relaitionship but yeh as you can tell it hasnt helped me,<br />
iv bin hurt mor since i got out of it than wen i was in it

he is a looser, sont go back have him charged you deserve better