I Got Out, You Can Too....

Many years ago I was a very young single mother of 3 daughters. I was introduced to a man by some friends of mine and we started dating. For the first 6 months he was everything I thought I was looking for. He was Loving and caring towards me and my daughters. I thought I had finally found someone I could spend the rest of my life with, someone who would always be there for me and be a father to my daughters. One night he was late coming home from work, I figured he was just working late and didn't think much about it. About midnight I was asleep in our bed when he finally came in, he had been drinking and I guess he was pissed about something because the next thing I knew he was pulling me out of bed by my hair and dragging me into the living room. There he proceeded to hit me and kick me calling me names and telling me I was worthless and not fit to live. Then all of a sudden he changed tactics and he was holding me and kissing me, I tried to get away from him but that only pissed him off and he started holding me down and tearing my clothes off then he raped me. After he was done he went back to being all sweet and caring again. Being young and stupid I let him convince me that it hadn't happened the way I remembered it. So I didn't leave. I lived through another year and a half of situations just like that and worse. I never told anyone what he was doing to me and he was very good at abusing me and not leaving marks where anyone could see them. People I knew used to always tell me what a great guy he was and how I was so lucky to have met him, because he was very good at playing the part when there was anyone else around. He always told me that if I ever tried to leave him he would hunt me down and kill me and my girls and I believed him. I thought I would never be able to get away from him. When we had been together for two years, he told me(didn't ask told) we were getting married and he was going to adopt my daughters, he told me the reason for this was so that I could never leave him and if I tried to he would have a legal way to take my daughters away from me. For me that was the last straw. I knew that I had to get away from him no matter what, but I also knew that I had to make sure he didn't come after me and my daughters. The thing is since I had been putting up with his abuse, physical, emotional, verbal and sexual I knew all his dirty little secrets. At least one of which I knew that he wouldn't want his biker and drinking buddies to find out about. That information was my ticket out. One day I sent my daughters to a friend's house and packed all his stuff up and stacked it in the driveway, then I waited for him to come home. It was 3am when he finally decided to show up, drunk as usual I was sitting on the front porch when he got there. He started coming towards me and I told him to stop where he was I think he was shocked about me talking to him that way because he actually stopped. I then told him he was going to put his stuff in his car and drive away and never bother me or my daughters ever again. He asked me why I thought he was going to do that? I told him because if he didn't I was going to rent a billboard and display pictures that I had of him dressed in woman's clothes right outside the bar that all his biker buddies liked to drink in. Then I held my breath, I figured one of two things was going to happen, either he was going to kill me or he would do what I told him to do. To my relief he choose to believe that I would do it and he packed his stuff into his car and drove away. Not only did he stay away from us, he also stopped hanging around all the friends that we had together. I later heard that he told his buddies that I had left him for a woman (thinking it would embarrass me I guess) His friend's response to that was why? Weren't you man enough to keep her? Not long after that I enrolled me and my daughters in karate classes. We are all now black belts.

grizzlymom grizzlymom
41-45, F
1 Response Feb 7, 2010

that was so inspiring... way to be strong!