Colo Barbie Dolls

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Denver market:

 

"Cherry Creek Barbie"

This princess Barbie is sold only at Cherry Creek Mall. She comes with an

assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey

and a McMansion on Cherry Creek Drive. Available with or without tummy tuck and face

lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

 

 

"Greenwood Village Barbie"

The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan

and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.

Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

 

 

"North Denver Barbie"

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,a

Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only

available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable

bills) ...unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

 

 

"Cherry Hills Barbie"

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or ****** H2.

Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also

available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to

afford any of them.

 

 

"Lakewood Barbie"

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too

small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud

light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's

butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag

bumper sticker absolutely free.

 

 

"Commerce City Barbie"

This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own

high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of North Denver 

Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a

see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

 

 

"Boulder Barbie"

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,

arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her

Willow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Point Breeze Barbies

and the optional Subaru wagon,  you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

 

 

"Aurora Barbie"

This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories

include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very

difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

 

 

 

"Capital Hill Barbie/Ken"

This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply

adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.

 

 

knottypine knottypine
51-55, F
3 Responses Jan 27, 2007

I actually got this as an e-mail, but as an entire Colorado Barbie collection, where the North Denver Barbie was referred to as Pueblo Barbie, and the Aurora Barbie was the Grand Junction Barbie... Having lived in Pueblo and Grand Junction, I can say those fit :D<br />
<br />
It's funny as Denver neighborhoods, too, though!

Highlarious!

LOL - that was funny!!