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Top Ten Signs You're Dating a High Maintenance Girl

Gentleman, too many of us fall prey to the High Maintenance Girl. And too many of us don't see the warning signs until it is, alas, too late and we have been reduced to snivelling, weak, insecure shells of our true, pre-High Maintenance Girl days. To that end, I present to you my list of Top Ten Warning Signs that You're Dating  a High Maintenance Girl. Enjoy. And get out while you still can-- denial helps no one.

Number 10: She wears hats (not baseball caps), especially of the wide-brimmed variety. Nothing screams Luvvy from Gilligan's Island like a damn hat-wearing girl.

Number 9: She ties a sweater around her waist. This one is controversial, but more often than not, a girl who tries to hide her big butt with an expensive sweater is high maintenance. See, what you don't know is that she spent at least 45 minutes adjusting that thing to look perfect. And what *she* doesn't know is that it just makes her *** look bigger by drawing attention to it and adding another couple inches.

Number 8: She loves to order wine with dinner. Listen, eating out is expensive enough, I don't need you to add another $36 for a couple ounces of liquid that you'll inevitably complain about. Truth: the happiest alcoholic moments in any guy's life have NEVER involved wine, so we obviously don't need it. The only reason we have it is to pretend to be sophisticated so high maintenance girls can like us. Lame. Super lame.

Number 7: You get dirty looks if your car isn't spotless, inside or out. In other words, she's embarrassed to ride with you based on the superficial aspects of your car. I'm a busy man and I park my car outside. Washing it today just gives the bird's a more satisfying target tomorrow. I'll wash  it for special events or if I become a road hazard, but anything beyond that is a waste of either time or money, neither of which I have in copious amounts.

Number 6: She comments on what you're wearing-- when you thought what you were wearing was totally snazzy. I'm not talking about the guys who wear threadbare clothing or mismatch colors or whatever-- we need to be called out when we do things like that. I'm talking about you wearing a nicely pressed shirt that you're pretty convinced is cool, and she just crushes it with the ever-familiar "Um, what are you wearing?" or my personal favorite, "Where'd you get that shirt?"

Number 5: You're always late wherever you go, mostly because she takes six and a half frickin' hours to get ready, wherever you go. Worse yet, to you, she looks exactly the same at minute 15 as she does at minute 380. Now watch out, because this one turns passive aggressive quickly. Soon, you'll start to notice that she's *especially* late when you're supposed to go somewhere with your family or your friends. But tread with caution, because if you bring it up, you can expect a royal crushing since she'll get emotional and say 'How dare you! I'm just trying to look good for your friends and family because I want them to like me!' Lose-lose situations are so much fun!

Number 4: Everyone can get away with things, except for you. Her family treats her like crap? She's still their lapdog. Her friends totally stand her up? No biggie. But you, my dear friend, better *always* be *perfect*. If you ever bring this up, wear armor. She will say something about how she holds her boyfriend/husband to a higher standard and then you'll somehow look like a jackass even though you're right. 

Number 3: You try to do something nice, and she totally misses the point and finds the one possible thing you didn't do right. Surprise her with breakfast in bed and she'll ***** you out for not making her favorite toast. Get her flowers and she'll make some comment about it being the wrong season for the ones you chose. I don't have to give any more examples, because the sinking feeling in your stomach is providing you with visceral reminders already.

Number 2: You have to constantly worry about her at social events. You can't just walk away and chat with some friends without making sure she knows where you are or comes with you. You're always concerned that she's not having a good time-- because she's not. She won't mix with anyone, and all of her conversations are superficial and your friend's all come away thinking she's cold and/or bitchy. You know the most demeaning part of this situation? You can't even go to the bathroom without telling her, lest she start looking for you and not find you for five minutes. You don't want that to happen as you'll get the royal *****-out on the car ride home and she'll threaten to not come to events again. You secretly celebrate that option, but can't show it.

Number 1.5 (had to squeeze this one in there): She refuses to drink water that comes from a tap, even if its filtered. This not only demonstrates high levels of maintenance, it shows that she's basically an irrational idiot too.

And the number one sign you're dating a High Maintenance Girl.......

Number 1: She rains on your parade. Not a drizzle either, but Noah's flood. If you're happy, your girl should be happy. If you're happy and instead your girl finds little snide remarks that on the surface seem supportive but over time actually dig at you, you have yourself a high maintenance girl. Want an example?

"Honey I got a raise"

"Great... now you'll never leave that job."

"Umm... thanks, I guess?"

There's more where this came from. I'm your soothsayer, your truth-bearer. I call it like I see it. Shoot me a line if you want to talk.

theTruth theTruth 31-35, M 230 Responses Oct 2, 2006

Your Response


Real "high maintenance girls" don't behave that way! They are only the ones with pretense complex who do! ;)

She sounds narcissistic.

I drink spring water rather than tap (if possible, I won't make an issue out of it if it's not readily available), because most municipalities add fluoride to the water. And fluoride is really nasty stuff. Google it.

I now understand why my 18 yr rekationship has finally ended. Thanks.

It is too late when damaged already done :)

Wow! Well as someone pointed out, if high maintenence women are so bad, why are guys always after them? For #8 I like wine with dinner, but keep it down to 1-2 glasses, and I ask the guys first. And I take them out to dinner sometimes or cook for them. For #3, sometimes I get nervous at social events especially if I don't know anyone. Maybe that is why she is so clingy? Don't forget men can be high maintenance too. How about the guy who knows you are paying by the hour for babysitting then shows up 2 hours late for the date? Or how about the guy who wants you to take off your shoes before entering the car?(a friend of mine had that happen)

Also according to this, except for #8 I am not high maintenance. And I make a good living and own my own house so I don't need anyone elses. Although I did date a couple of guys who I suspected were looking for someone who made decent money and owned there own houses so they could move in and be taken care of. I am still blissfully single thank you very much!

Oh I don't know if it struck a nerve. I just know guys can be high maintenance also. And I like being single.

Sometimes guys call women high maintenance but they don't realize that they need a little work. They like the way they are, and a woman comes along and tells them no, and they get mad and defensive, and call her high maintenance. I've seen this with friends, and I've seen this with myself. For example, I'm married to a man who was a slob and was socially inept. He's gotten better over time but he calls me high maintenance. Sure I groom myself and am aware of basic social etiquette, but I've witnessed other guys who are just as bad and worse than my husband. No I'm not obsessed with money and materials, and will never have plastic surgery. I'm your basic woman with indulgences though, but I, constantly, try to moderate myself.

Back to men who need a little kick in the pants, and as an example: my husband. In the beginning, we'd go out and he'd literally look like a bum. One time, these guys asked me, "who's that bum your with?" Other times, people couldn't believe he was with me. He would eat with his mouth open and so loud; even now it's a little hard to listen to him, or I have to turn the tv up. He'd hold his knife and fork in a way that was like an infant, like he was retarded or something and then sit there smacking louder than the tv - you could hear him in the next room eating. He says he has a small mouth, which he doesn't. He just needs to take smaller bites... Why does he have to put the full plate of food in his mouth? Why can't he swallow first, and then put more food in? When people talk to him, he just stares off into space. He never said hello or congratulations, like if someone's getting married. He never tipped, and would return to the same restaurants over and over. And he had the worst taste in food and was a terrible cook.

Aside from these things, he's a great guy. I'd tell what makes him great but the post would be too long. I'll just say he's extremely manly and self sufficient, kind and patient and extremely affectionate and loving. He just wasn't raised well in regard to these matters. His family is just as bad as he is, and worse. But I'm glad he doesn't do most of these things anymore. And actually, if we were to divorce, he'd be able to get himself a woman and keep her, now that he knows where he needed work. Before me, he couldn't keep a woman to save his life.

but guys LOVE high maintenance girls - hence why they are always running after them!
i'm still relieved i only fit into 1 of these categories though - i love wine. but i only drink cheap wine (because price has nothing to do with taste - a $5 bottle can be just as good or even better than a $50 one), & my boyfriend & i always go halvesies.


I was born very sensitive to a lot of things, one thing I am extremely sensitive to is cold temperatures. I wear hats. I'm not high maintenance. I need it to keep warm. Baseball caps don't keep my head warm like beanies, berets and small upturned hats do.

I am also very sensitive to taste, especially if it is affiliated with a traumatic experience. I was repeatedly sexually and physically abused every day for seven months by two men. In that time, if I drank tap water, I threw up very badly. It is three years later and I am just starting to be able to drink tap water slowly without getting nauseous or throw up, thanks to escaping. I am not high maintenance.

I am slower than most people thanks to how I was born. It takes me a while to get ready but thankfully I start earlier in advance to give me that extra time. I am not high maintenance, just physically disabled, and my own family says I am low maintenance.

If I wear a jacket or sweater when I am out, and it gets warm enough for me to handle taking it off, I tie it around my waist so it is handy. If I carry it, it slows my walking even more than I already am and I need to hold on to the railing or wall if I lose my balance, which I cannot do if my hands have stuff in them.

Special note: your reason number two is not high maintenance. She is a controlling, domineering, mentally abusive woman that needs to get dumped if she can't treat you better.

Sounds like you didn't start out like that. Life handed your drinking problem. (I know it sounds like alcohol but I know it is water) And as far as tying your sweater around your waist it isn't a fashion statement.

As far as the hat goes I bet you don't have 50 of them and they are all over priced based on fashion. Clearly your abuse ordeal is a story unto itself and should be written.

The slow thing is a woman who is holding back not a condition. And as far as # 2 goes I agree. Other than that this clearly does not fit you does it? The conditions you stated were not included in this post and therefore can not include you. Or? Is there something here that does fit and you wish to take offense to it? Other wise I don't see a problem.

no I'm just trying to show the other side to men who might see these things and make a general assumption that all women that have these qualities are high maintenance. I don't take offense. just trying to show that if I have justifiable explanations, someone else might too. and thanks for caring about the abuse. I never even had my first kiss, boyfriend or first date before that stuff. go figure!

I have no idea if the guy who wrote this is even still around. I was notified of a new comment so I TOOK the option to reply. Sounds like it is time for the boyfriend thing now doesn't it? ;-)

To me this post was meant in jest at high society type of women with a twisted sense of self worth and the view of those around them. Like you might see in a movie or at a country club. I know they do exist and depending on the position of the man to these type of women can be humorous.

lol at that wink. If you want, I can discuss my feelings wiith you privately about that question that preceded the wink. But not here where the eyes of the world can see us. I do know those women exist. They and men like them have reputations that make us women or other men seem to be like a certain picture when the real picture has differences that take time spotting.

1 More Response

This was written on October 2nd, 2006 and has its first comment from then. What Date is it now? Now that is funny!!! This comment 8/9/2012. The one before this was 19 minutes ago.

stay single, ****** easily fellas, if you own a house, even more reason to stay single otherwise somewhere down the track the ***** will have her eyes on your assets

...or you could just not be with "the *****" & instead date a girl who isn't one?

She left and that was right.

I agree with the definition of a high maintenance girl. But why guys always - I repeat - always fall for that act?

Because it was never shown to up up front! Otherwise not no but Hell No.

LOL Loved this!! :) And since I don't fit any of those categories...not a single one...I'm feeling pretty damn good about myself right now. :)

And you should feel really damn good if that is true. You must be more like what guys ARE looking for! ;-)

Well, I must apologise for actually caring about how I look, how my partner looks, my image and how people see me.<br />
It's obviously awful to have class or care about fashion... and it's also obviously awful to be educated about the chemicals in our water supplies...

Apology excepted.

...sounds like the words of a true up-tight, high maintenance *****.

I don't like high maintenance people, well ones that are selfish.

I dated one for 11 months and I am person that gets paid every week so the only time I hear from her to be calling me is on pay day and than telling me of all her financial problems which can stress anyone out since she can tell you whats happening and if you dont help her she will get hissy fit of hating you with a passion while I had to end it since its not my problem and she has the money to fix her own issues but prefer to waste it on her nails or her hair which is not cheap neither. The drive to get to her place is a about an hour drive but will she ever help me with gas money, hell no. Nothing but complaining which I dont think shes ever going to get married unless he has the patients and more money then what I make

I am sure your right!

...&amp; you were with her for 11 months? far too long by the sounds of it!

OMG this is so me!!... And i didnt even know i consider myself this extreme:(... Thanks for sharing...

Hun, this list is crap. these are not the marks of a high maintanence girl. this is a list of what makes a girl a ***** and why her man should leave her - she obviously can't behave. Not every girl is like this - in fact, some girls wonder why men stay with girls with these qualities. A high-maintenece girl - she thinks she's perfect, she's not insecure and she's instead brimming with confidence. She's classy and most likely educated with a brain in her head and ... she doesn't need a man to stick to her all the time. She's got girlfriends to complain to, she doesn't need to rain in on his parade.

Oh for crying out loud. Wash the damned car!<br />
<br />
Guys with a dirty cars are more likely to have bad BO, dirty dishes in the cupboards and dirty laundry under their bed ... because they don't like to wash ANYTHING!<br />
<br />
p.s. Great post, katnap!

Thanks Katnap. Loved your post. Right on. To me, high maintainence just sounds insecure and snobby. Also likely to be miserable until she figures it out. Money really doesn't buy happiness. Look around and you'll see plenty of examples. There are also plenty of "high mainainence" guys w/ all kinds of social problems too. I'm cheering for gals that like to dress up because they like style. Also a big cheer for the granola girls (low key can be very attractive). *chuckles Yes, I'm a guy. Maybe I've just been lucky but I do think women generally are the better half of the human race.

Ok truth, you had me until......I see your story about how you prefer blondes. :( You sound like you deserve these high maintenance beyotches! :D

That's funny.

...what's so bad about liking blondes? :(

wooow thats hilarious i think i might do 2 out of the whole things...slightly.....yes pretty freaking funny..good job.. <br />
also redneck thing sorry but also very funny.....

Do you know what really ******* sucks, that realization that your not good enough for the annoying kid with the cankles. I now relate to those girls who are so self conscience that they starve themselves everyday until they reach slow suicide. Like you said before the only reason we are here is to reproduce, yet loneliness is the human condition. the fact i can so deeply stress about how i look and how i act around guys, yet im still below you is so many ways has drived my 100's of crying spells this weekend. the fact you would rather be alone than with someone as disgusting as me, shows why so many girls are destined to be like my mother. The stressful middle aged woman with breast implants and a constant need to please her husband, however with all that work she still gets cheated on, divorced, and dies alone. In the seventh grade a boy told me that I would be the 50 year old virgin and if I was lucky I could find a passed out ho bo on the street to rape. Looking back at the crying spell of that moment I now only wish to be that 50 year old virgin because it is better than having to let that one disgusting half of our human race; horrible enough to cheat, rape, and say something so horrible to a seventh grader, put his dirty ******* hands on my body. I now know why woman can snap and brutally murder their husbands. For any men who have a lack of respect for a high matience girl I hope every ******* day you look in the mirror you realize how you induced this vicious cycle.

Oh and don't forget:<br />
<br />

Number 11 : You have to surgically remove her ******* hand from your wallet several times a day!!..<br />
The Truth told the ermmm well the truth...good blog mate.

I like that one or rather number 11.

I don't think you can pigeon-hole someone into the category of "high maintenance" just because they have arbitrary standards and wear certain clothes. It's called thinking for yourself, and just because some people don't do it (possibly yourself), don't assume that everyone is a sheep in the same flock.

I would not call these traits high two were just incompatible with different tastes. From your story, a high maintenance girl would most definitely never give you the time of day. She likes a man who obviously has a lot of money, drives a flashy car and dresses the part too.

Perhaps she was a wanna be high maintenance,

OMG you just about described me - ok, save certain ones, but I am exceedingly fussy over my food, try to cook for me and let something touch and I'm refusing to eat. I try to be polite IF I recognize it as something you did special just for me, but that's just...ew...even thinking about it churns my stomach. Water from a tap - ick ew never unless it is pure well water - no city water for this girl that's just like totally gross and disgusting. Dirty looks, hell yes it's MY jeep - get it trashed and you'll be getting dirty looks until I actually get time to clean it out again.<br />
<br />
You get the point, but I think you left one out. A high maintenance girl never sees herself as such.<br />
<br />
Oh and I love hats.

I started reading this purely for entertainment purposes. A few of your points happen to apply to my guy, though, especially the one about social events. I'm in the midst of a breakup and you may have just made it a little easier for me. Thanks!

That was FUNNY. LMAO.