At The End Of My Rope.

Just stumbled across this site. Idk what to do anymore. I feel alone. I have three kids 11, 7, and 6 months. Im sort of single parent even though im married. My husband is a functtioning alcholic, and idk how long I can keep it all together. Things were fine for first four years he was younger when we met, but are going to hell. I miss the man i married. He always has to work late and drinks every nite. He "hides" it, or so he thinks. We went to a wedding reception a month ago and he put away a twelve pack in two hours. Told me he didn't have money but I knew he did. By ten i was ready to go and he was thirty beers in. I went to sit in car, and couldnt get him to come out, so I went back in. My friend had the kids and I said ten at the latest. When I went back in I couldn't find him, well I finally did, on the dance floor with another woman doing a grinding dance. I was shocked and almost left. I went back outside and calmed down, then went in and told him it was time to go....he got mad at me cause i made him leave. Hoe didn't c a problem dancing with her, one of his old classmates, I said it was bs and he could divorce me if he wants to have a good time with her. He was trashed and throwing everything in my face, sayin how I never wanna party. Y would i dance with him when hes smashed. He works all day, and I don't, but stay home with the kids. He usaully doent get home till eight, by then kids are getting ready for bed.after watching how much he can drink, and act sober, I know how much he has been hiding it. Four years ago we moved away from my supporitive family to find work, and now were in a little town where everyone drinks. His family won't help me I've tried. His dad is alcholic and his brother is sober two years. On weekends he drinks in the barn or shed and hides the beer cans. I cleaned them out and they filled the Ahold back of his truck. Every day he drinks and drives. Asks me if he can get kids I always so no, cause there are open containers in his car. Want to hold baby, well, i know he's been drinkin and can't chance anything happening to him. I have been sleeping in living room since baby was born so i know baby is safe. He has peed in house before and seven years ago almost peed on our daughter. Last four months he has went through $800 in beer. Doesn't tell me he's takin money out and then we bounce checks for bills. He says he can cause he's the breadwinner. He does side jobs for his friends and keeps that money too. I feel broken in more ways then one. Only time he tries to do good is if he needs sex. I feel used. Last Saturday he said he'd quit drinkin for a week and made it one day. I just sit and cry now. My oldest from a prev relationship knows some of what's going on and had found beer cans around the house. The nearest al anon is two hours away. I just don't know anymore.
feduptiredmom feduptiredmom
31-35, F
1 Response Dec 7, 2012

Think you need to seek a councillor to help you seek a way to make this marriage work but if your hubby is drinking that amount then he is not only a danger to you,your children but others on road,might be worth letting Police know if you think he's drink /driving as a shock might just bring him to senses,or you can move home with kids and start a new life knowing your kids and you are safe!Hope it goes well what ever!