Not Physically...

I don't do anything radical or extreme, like cut myself, but I hurt myself internally. I use my own mind and hurt myself. I think about all the bad things that I can be doing to myself and I make my heart hurt. I have all these techniques and thoughts to get my mind racing and to make me cry myself asleep at night. Mentally, I am very powerful. I feel pain without doing anything that actually scars my body permanently. I don't scar my body but I scar my mind...I always remember what I think and to get rid of my problems in the real world, I sort of create these scenarios in my mind that just hurt so much and oddly enough, I actually begin to like it. I think there's something wrong with me. I think I'm going crazy, or just need some sort of therapy because though I like the way this feels, I really think that something's wrong with me.

stripesANDsunshine stripesANDsunshine
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 17, 2009

Sweetie i'd advise you to get some professional help because this could lead to health problems in the long run. Please dont think that i'm insulting you or anything i just care. The mind is a very powerful thing and maybe you need to get some help from past problems you may have gone through, it helps you cope better. I used to cut myself a lot and i had to go through therapy for a while and it help me so much.