A Guide to Sensitivity For Men!
Should Men Be More Sensitive?
Don't be afraid to show her some sensitivity, as long as you know when it's okay to be mushy and when to be macho.
By Andre Cross, Relationship CorrespondentPage 1: sensitive men
If every man stops to think about the one thing all women want more of in a relationship, chances are it's TLC. Although tender loving care encompasses many emotions and acts, it boils down to the sensitivity of a man. As long as men are sensitive, women are happy.
The problem is that if you start giving in to your feminine side, you will also be giving in to her wants. But is this really what women want?
No matter what your girlfriend may say about opening up and sharing your true emotions, be wary. Giving in to this might just cost you the same girlfriend that asked for it in the first place.
Going all the way back to prehistoric times, men were the providers in the couple, and women maintained the residence, prepared the food and cared for the children. This has not extended into the 21st century so much, it's merely a statement for the more old-fashioned couples, so no need to e-mail me about this!
Women want a take-charge and authoritative man that can take care of business; a decisive man that can get things done, but with a tender heart. how nice should you be? Spending more time understanding what your woman means when she says she has a headache, is a good thing. The secret to long-lasting relationships is the learning curve that keeps it alive. Learning something new about your mate is as important as not forgetting her birthday, and we all know how important that is.
If being nice and the little things make her happy, then by all means do so. But how far should you take it? It's our nature to always want more of a good thing, thereby risking saturation.
For example, if you alternate the choice of movies you see together, and she suddenly begins insists on seeing more of her movies, and you cave, well the saturation has already taken place. If you don't understand this issue and don't see the problem, then the damage may already be done.
If you're already too nice, then you need to backtrack and be more of a jerk. But if your machismo and toughness are costing you a nice girl, then think about what you could be doing to be (or at least sound) more caring.
So how does the mortal man learn to cope with sensitivity and apply it just enough to make his woman happy before it's too late? bl
If your girlfriend is happy so long as you listen (or pretend to) when she talks, then leave it at that. But if you see that she wants you to be interested and ask many questions, then doing so might exempt you from a lot of future headaches.
Put it this way: if your woman comes in during the last stretch of the finals basketball game, and says that she's been thinking about your shared future and planning for it, then you should listen (really). If anything involves you at a fairly high level and the two of you in the long-term, then halt whatever you're doing and put your efforts into the given matter. Deal with urgent matters urgently.
Think about it -- if you don't, you might unknowingly agree to move out to the suburbs, get a dog, raise 5 children, and pick up yoga on the side. Then you'll be in for a long discussion, all because you were too busy watching Shaq convert a three-point play to win the championship. which stage are you in? Take a look at which sensitive acts are considered acceptable at different stages of the relationship, and which are doomed for the whip.
0 - 3 months
Okay: Little acts of chivalry are very well received by women during this crucial part of the relationship. Open the car door, clean out her movie seat and offer her your jacket if she's cold.
Too much: Staying home with her when she has the sniffles, while your buddies are out drinking and acting stupid... as usual.
3 - 6 months
Okay: Introducing her to your parents, and breaking her into the family mold as she meets Aunt Annie and Uncle Stu.
Too much: Asking her to chitchat with your distant grandmother from down south, who's explaining her latest surgical procedure for cataract.
6 - 12 months
Okay: Expecting her to ditch her girlfriends on a shopping excursion to come to your nephew's baptism.
Too much: Opening up a joint bank account and trusting her with all the finances, when she doesn't even have a job.
Okay: Taking a trip together. Going somewhere sunny where all inhibitions are safely stashed away in your back pocket.
Too much: Asking her to marry you, only because you think she's expecting it, and based on the fact that no other woman has toughed you out for that long. andre's analysis You see, no matter how macho you are or how lovey-dovey your girlfriend can get, there's always more room for sensitivity and affection (just like Jell-O; which doesn't mean you have to be that mushy). So don't be shy to break out the emergency nice-guy kit every now and then, and get to work. Better late than being single, right?