I Have Negative Thoughts Even Though I Tell Myself I Shouldn't

I hate negative thoughts...I battle with them on a day to day basis..but I give advice not to be negative..and I know it helps to be as positive as possible...I need maintenance.. I need to boost my process...I feel as though something negative is what pushed me into the path of positivity..and now that negative has worn off...I don't want to give in..I fight the urges. The voices that begin with laughter..mocking my pain..and my new found strength.. I need to sleep..tomorrow will be a visit with the Dr. give in to meds to help me sleep. I have let my negative side get close again..only a little..but enough to feel his presence..to smell the stench of the pain that he brings..wanting to cloak me in the darkness of hate.. I will not be a victim this time..remain strong..remain quiet.. control of myself is the only control I have..only me..no one else.. I will maintain...I need to boost...damn it..I hate .....

I do not want to hate..
ZombieLips ZombieLips
36-40, M
Jan 7, 2013