Why 'must' I Want Kids?

I got married 18 months ago at the grand age of 37. I'm now 39 and well aware I'm going to reach the dreaded 40 the end of this year, and without kids....thank god! Only problem is now I'm married, I get asked all the bloody time why I'm going to shoot out some kids. Its an assumption, and oh the shock and horror when i say no i don't want any. ' Oh, but you'll change your mind'...er, I don't think so somehow. I've got to my age and don't have a maternal bone in my body, and its a good job as we can't even afford one good holiday a year and only can afford a 1 bed flat! Christ all mightily, get over it. I hate kids, + they're expensive, take over your life and will probably grow up and bugger off somewhere so you don't see them again like my husbands son from his first marriage. We have not seen him for 3 years. What's the point.
People say don't you want to have kids so you've got someone to look after you in your old a age? How selfish is that! You don't have a kid so they can be your permanent carer. There's no guarantee they'll hang about anyway, like my step son. He's swanning about touring the world with a ruck sack right now. If my husband got struck down with something, we wouldn't even be about to contact the bugger to let him know, and he's spend literally thousands and thousands of pounds on him over the years in f***king CSA payments and all sorts.
I'm not maternal. I can't coo over babies. Well i try with my nephew but its an act if i'm honest. The thought of pregnancy and something taking over my body for 9 months makes me feel ill at the thought, and as for giving birth, **** that!!
Sorry guys, I don't think the world will end if I don't add to the already overly high population. Already loads of scrounging families out there who won't stop breeding already, mostly immigrants living over here who don't speak one word of English who take money from my tax, so I can't afford them.
Did you know it's estimated that 1 child over 18 years costs 200k to look after by the way. I really don't have the time and inclination or room for smelly nappies, prams, pushchairs, high chairs, car seats, toys, + when they are older, endless clothes as they grow out of it or ruin them, countless shoes, designer stuff they ' have to have' so they dont get bullied, not to mention games for their latest consoles at £40 a throw in-doctoring violence so they are much more likely to grow up to be mentally unstable! God forbid you don't give it to them. If you're really unlucky, they'll take the money from your purse and go out and buy it, ( I know 1st hand) or have a tantrum for days slamming doors like Kevin from Harry Enfield, screaming ' I hate you, I hate you. Yeah nice eh.
I simply dont have patience for sleepless nights, + oh my, the worry they won't turn out to have severe autism, breaking everything in the house like my second cousins little boy who I could quite easy throttle when ever I see him. That couple have now split up due to stress, and now everything revolves around that kid. He's 4 and doesn't even talk, Ill all the time with, coughs, cold, chicken pox, mumps, measles, ear infection, fungus infection......Omg!! She's had to give up her job, has no life, and has aged 20 years in 4 years. I don't think I could cope with that + nobody visits her any more an i suspect they feel the same way as I do....and....er, make an excuse not to go over.
Yeah, a nice peaceful life methinks. I'll just sit back and let very one else have the hassle.
An Ep User An EP User
2 Responses Jan 13, 2013

Well. I had two children who are now both adults, a daughter who is now 31 and a son who is 26. My daughter has two sons, who are now 5 and almost 4, and she just found out she is expecting another baby in October. We are all thrilled about the pregnancy. My son does not have children yet, but he wants to in the future.

I love my children and my grandchildren with all of my heart and I'm so happy that I will soon have another grandchild. I was happily married for 17 years to the father of my children, and the only reason we are not still married is that he died at the tragically young age of 39.

The happiest years of my life were the years that I was a stay at home wife and mother to my two children. The children didn't wreck my marriage and didn't prematurely age me. I never gave up a job to have children, but I never wanted a job to begin, and even now, I work because I have to, not because I want to. A job and a career outside the home never meant anything to me. My calling was to be a wife and a mother.

Never did I think that I "had no life." My family WAS my life and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Certainly it cost money to raise the children, but I couldn't think of anything else I would rather have spent money on. My husband made a good living, so there was never anything material that I did without because of my children. Of course, this isn't true for everyone, but I have the highest regard for people who consider their children more important than material things. How can you compare the value of a human life to the value of material things? That's the way most---most, not all---people look at it.

Neither one of my children ever took money from my purse, unreasonably demanded material things, or ever said, "I hate you." Sure, these things happen when parents fail to parent properly, but not all parents do and not all children are like that.

Sometimes it happens that adults don't see their parents often. In fact, I ended up not seeing my parents often, because I got married at the age of twenty and moved 1500 miles away. But my parents understood that it was a good career move for my husband. I would understand if one of my children chose to move far away, with the result that I didn't get to see them often. Most of us parents don't have children so that they can fawn over us once they are grown. We understand that they will build separate lives when they are grown. We have children because, no matter what the physical distance or how busy our lives get, the ties of parent/child love are unique to that relationship, very strong, unbreakable, and very rewarding. It so happens that I see my children and my grandchildren frequently since we all live close together.

You have the right to be how you are, but I wanted to point out that you have no right to judge everyone else by your own standards, you can't assume because you don't want children that others who do want them and do have them are unhappy, you have no right to say "You don't have kids to be your permanent career", because that is a choice that others are free to make and many are happy to make, and you can't pass judgment on all parenthood based upon the experience of one person---your second cousin. Also, you are making assumptions about how your second cousin feels based only on your observations of her life and how you would feel if you were her----but you don't know that she feels that way.

Er yeah, browsing on here and found your charming comments! Its a year later and my cousin with the boy with autism? Yeah? She's ended up seriously mentally ill due to stress that nearly ended her up in a mental health wing in hospital. She's on anti depressant drugs now. She wishes things had worked out somewhat different she tells me, so yes do know she feels resentment and very hard done by. She got dealt a very bad hand. No guy wants to touch her as she's landed with the spawn of satan. ( I laugh but it's very sad, sad but true. If anything the boy's got worse and she has bite and scratch marks from where he lashes out, out of frustration. She gets little help from nhs) My husband doesn't have a good job like yours did, so there no godly way we could have any anyway as costs would be astronomical. It would ruin us financially completely. We'd lose the flat we're in. No way to pay for it! Neither of us has family to rally round either taking care of kids so I can go back to work so we'd be screwed! And I refuse to scrounge off the government like most in the uk just so I can pro create. Actually the thought of being cooped up inside looking after children fills me with dread anyway. Boredom city so just as well really. The reason by the way my son in law never saw us growing up much is because his lousy ***** of a mother wouldn't allow us access for years out of spite, so we had no practically no role in his upbringing thank you very much so don't assume I'm a low life you arrogant cow! ' judging by your own standards' how DARE you ! His upbringing wasn't down to us. My husbands ex also has 2 other kids by previous marriage nothing to do with him or me for that matter and both of which do drugs and one is in prison. That'll be down to HER upbringing, not ours. Actually his son now sees us regularly and hardly wants anything to do with her as she's just awful. He's cleaned his act up somewhat. That means we are good people I'd say. I suggest take your sickly sweetness and light attitude elsewhere you Stupid internet troll!

Shut the **** up, stupid, stuck-up, obnoxious, filthy breeder.

Couldn't have put it more perfectly myself. People say I am bitter and I have a problem with people in general, they couldn't be further from the truth. I work in mental health and some of my traits are that I am patient, kind and caring. I would rather do a 24 hour shift with the schizophrenics I work with than 10 minutes with a child. It's just kids I have a problem with and parents that in turn expect you to think the sun shines out of there backside just as they do !!!! I can honestly say kids make my skin crawl !!!