I want people to think different

 i think for safety sake, we need to chop off every left hand in the country. There's every risk that these left hands will poison our right hands. At the very time that our country is struggling to do the right thing.  It's only a matter of time.

Now when I say this, you get anxious? Right? And the hand wringing starts. Thereby bringing the left hand into contact with the right.  Now you know, we've all read those edurcationel posters in the toilet clearly demonstrating how contact leads to contagion. And with contagion comes disease. Right turns to wrong. Nations turn against each other. The planets slip out of alignment and the cubs win the world series. This left handed nonsense is sick, people! Sick I say. I think we need to take a page from the republican playbook and change the nomenclature of the left hand. Henceforth, it will be called the wrong hand.

penguinswon penguinswon
51-55
19 Responses Mar 1, 2009

the one who dares accuse of such thing is not the one being poisend but the poisener.<br />
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most of the world is right handed yes we all know that but you knwo what? we all have 2 hands which is ment to be used. sense most of the world is right handed whenever people sneeze, most of the time they will cover it with ther right handed. then they go continuing with there eery day life putting germes in everything they touch, even if they do wash there hands there may still be germs out there. most of them will eat with there right hand without evn washing there hands and thats how they get sick. we left handed people eat with our left handed. yes we also use it to open doors and holding things but most of the time, people only open doors on the right side which means we have to adapt to opening doors with our right hand. our right hand is wetting all of those germs while our left hand is still cleaner.<br />
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the left hand is not the evil hand. no hand is, but beause of right handed peoples actions the right hand, they have become evil. they signal out a certan type of peopel in the world that are different and the first thing they do is not be awed by the difference, they accuse it of being the work of evil because were simply different.<br />
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it is those right handed people who are truly evil because they choose to think that way. they choose to do those harmful things to them. so its not the left handed people who make things go bad, its the right handed people not understanding and accepting the differences that will destroy this nation if it ever does

i don't think you realize that this is a satirical commentary aimed at people who hate irrationally... it's like people who hate our president because he is black.. same thing.. sorry you missed the point. never meant to insult you

I don't get it. This is supposed to be funny? I think we should kill all people with downs syndrome or autism. HAHAHAHAHA what a hilarious joke.

haha.. yeah... there's a difference and a line I wouldn't cross...
left handed people are inherently no different to right handed people. Neither inferior nor superior. If you don't get it, I can get someone to explain it to you. Slowly.

so what do i do cause i can't use my right hand any more

Meh... I'm ambidextrous.

I'm left handed! And I'm a nice person!

True Lefties are not Ambidextrous, and should not claim to be so...<br />
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I read somewhere under this topic that Hitler was Left Handed, but the truth is that he was probably Ambidextrous, seeing that there are people out there claiming that: "In many pictures involving Adolf Hitler writing, he is noted writing with his right hand." <br />
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[http://www.chacha.com/question/is-hitler-left-handed-or-right-handed]<br />
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And that: "Hitler was NOT left-handed. He always signed documents with his right hand."<br />
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[http://www.nitpickers.com/movies/comment.cgi?com=30154]<br />
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If anyone here claims to be a Lefty when he or she is in fact Ambidextrous, he is playing tricks and fooling others and himself, seeing that he is not a true Lefty, but an accident of nature...but we Lefties understand why he is claiming to be a Lefty and why he wishes to be so...<br />
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Lefties rule!<br />
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Kind regards,<br />
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<br />
-- Eclecticus <br />
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[Left handed - INTP/INTJ - Enneagram Type 5]

I have just joined a fan listing for left handed people. How cool is that?<br />
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It is great finding a group on the internet dedicated uniquely to lefties. I will urge all who are reading my message to join the lefties club and to help us against the opression of the right handed crazies. Soon hour superior, and genetically evolved, left handling traits, far more advanced than our [refering to all the right handed, crazy people, out there] clumsy, counterpart pals, will be ending conquering the entire earth. Right and true! The time is coming...the end of the right handed crazies is very near...<br />
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Their existence will only be remembered in old history books, and in stories, that will still be told to children, about their [refering to right handed crazy people] incredible clumsiness and unbelievable lack of sophistication... :)<br />
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PS. - If you are by any chance right handed and you hate it, then please, be a traitor. <br />
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Come and join our cause.. . <br />
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Please, Click here to join the lefties cause...<br />
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Kind regards,<br />
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<br />
-- Eclecticus

I think we need to redefine amputation as enhanced limb removal.<br />
You know, like enhanced interrogation. It sounds so much more civilized.<br />
Enhanced limb removal is a very civilized way to deal with left handed people

Maybe, but those drivers have always been good at steering out of trouble.

no doubt it's going to throw the left handed screw driver industry into turmoil too.

The only negative effect I can possibly think of for your proposal is the terrible consequences all this will have on my left-handed pen business. I specialise in making left-handers write.

actually it's a satirical joke

You guessed it...I'm left handed

I like that, as long as I don't have to cut my left hand I am in.

first rule of debating; the first person to reference the holocaust is out.

Wow!<br />
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I am not a lefty, but I need my left hand to play my piano sometime! LOL!<br />
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Nice speech, thanks for sharing

The word sinister is derived from the latin word senestra...left handed.

Julius Caesar was left handed

chances are, he was jealous of the right hand.. just one more reason... <br />
nothing more tawdry than a love triangle