I Hate Liars
I feel so stupid and hurt I really am unsure of what to do. I have been married for 10 weeks as of today. I have only known my new hubby for 10 months as of this month. Anyway, I had been married for 29 years and was in a sexless marriage so I left. My new hubby seems so sweet and kind. He told me he did not have a bad temper, that he quit smoking, the he had a drivers licence (despite of his OWI) and was a sex freak and I would get it a least 3 times a week, and promised he would never lie to me. First the little things went. Then it went to hardly any sex, really bad temper, and he really rather spend time watching tv then with me. A month after he moved in there was a bunch of charges on my Kwik Trip bill from him. He was spending something like $20 a day on stuff. He told me over and over again it was just pop and stuff. He had just started working and after child support brought home $25 for the week. sigh.... I asked him over and over again if he was smoking and he said no. The next month there were no weird charges, but he was going through money fast. He wasn't bringing in even $150 a week and a bunch of it would be gone. He would come home smelling like smoke and he would say it was because of the guy next door. The guys next door would hand me a pack of cigs and tell me to give my hubby his cigs. I would tell them he doesn't smoke and they would take them back. He would run next door first thing in the morning and spend an hour hanging out. I felt so bad that he would not stay and spend time with me before he went to work. At night time he would have to run across the street and talk to the guy next door. First thing he would do is brush his teeth and wash his hands. Sometimes he would jump in the shower because he "smelling like smoke from the guy next door." He would taste like smoke and tell me it was coffee. I asked him a couple times a week about it and he would say he wasn't smoking. He would swear that he wasn't smoking. I felt so awful for asking him all the time. i was worried that I had some kind of trust issue and didn't know how to fix it. At some point I though he was screwing the guy next door because of his time there and the special cleaning her was doing after he would come home. He flipped when I asked him if he was screwing the guy next door. When we got another Kwik Trip bill after we had been married only 6 weeks, I saw $5.81 charges all over the bill. I aksed him what they were for. He said he didn't know, then he tried a few other lies and I kept pushing. Then he said he got the guys next door cigs because they had no money. I was really upset because we can't afford $100 worth of stuff for other people. I left the house for a while and came back. He was yelling at me for picking apart his story and not trusting him. He asked why I was doing "this" to us. He threw in a few strange things here and there trying to muddy the water. I just came out and told him I knew he was lying and that he was smoking. He flipped out and said that he was. We had a huge fight. I told him that he knew when we met that smoking was a deal breaker before we ever starting dating. I asked if he had lied about anything else and he said no. I told him I was not going to put up with lying. Well, 3 weeks to the day after that I catch him again. He hadn't worked that day and pretended to be working on the house all day. The house looked like it had when I left. His keys were in the door so I KNEW he had gone somewhere. I asked if he had left the house and he asked me why. I told him his keys were left in the door. He said he was with the guy next door. I asked why he didn't tell me. His answered that was it was not important. Well, why did he pretend to be home all day then? Then I said "So what would you say if I told you that I knew you did not have a licence? He says "well everybody knows that you loose them when you get an OWI". I reminded him that I had asked at least 30 times about it. That very day I had asked him because he needed special insurance. A week before I had asked because of something somebody else had said to me. He had been driving my cycle and had gotten caught and I thought his licence just got suspended for driving without a cycle licence. He was so mad that he got caught and said mean things to blame shift. He tried saying maybe he was bi-polar, he said he grew up poor, he didn't like himself, and so on. The fact is he lied again about something he had no reason to lie about. He called our pastor and we had a meeting with him about his lying. He says he really wants to try, but I don't trust a single word out of his mouth. I will hang around for a while to see if he will change, but he man is such a good liar. He can look right in my face a swear he is NOT lying. He will even kind of cry and promise he is telling the truth. You would think when caught the first time he would just fess up. Anybody have any ideas for me?
